Do You Have Kids?

[Johnny]

it never crossed my mind that some one would do it on purpose!

i've read about it in books but never met some one who chose to get pregnant .

while i do excell at finding the silver lining in any cloud (even a mushroom cloud)

you're right ,the thought of some one who has a kid out of bordom puts my stomach in knots .i hate to imagine the psychological implications of a parent demoting a child to the value of a car "yeh im going to swing my little chik magnet by the mall and see what bites" (shudder)

what i have found by talking to other parents is that it was an unexpected pleasure ,watching them rediscover what we learned to take for granted

if i didn't get to spend as much time with them as i did when they where just budding into little people from infants ,i would most likely be singing (or screaming) a very different tune .

some of the kids i see at work would brake even me and thats saying something

[Brenda Starrr]

kinder-garden ranch

Mmmm. My favorite.

[Homicidalheathen]

Do men count cause he acts like a kid half the time lol

That makes, twins......and um two grown men kids in my life.....a step son and his kids........that makes lets see 3 more......ugh. Shoot me now.

[pomba gira]

none, ever, ide get it permanently taken care of if i could but no one will do it for me

I'm doing some research on this for some young women on 43 Things, I'll let you know when I find something out. I figure some organization must have a list of docs who believe women should be able to control their own bodies.

and yeah... I have little patience for people who have kids as little status symbols, and less for the ones who have 'em because "that's what you're supposed to do". Especially the latter, since for them motherhood usually involves roping in some poor guy who then spends the rest of his life not getting any once Mrs Mommy's dream family is in place.

and just for the record, not everyone who has children loves being a mom... you'd be amazed how many times I've heard "I wish I'd had that choice when I was young" or "I wish I'd known what I really wanted back then". They always start with "I love my kids but..." I usually get the impression they've never expressed these feelings to anyone else... that kind of thing is really taboo in our society.

[Johnny]

I agree about giving women control over there own bodies and that having a child/children can destroy lives

the horrors i have seen while doing installs in peoples homes is more than gut wrenching, from detroit to west bloomfield ,some people just can't handle it and some are giving 200% but the burden is just to much and the whole family suffers.

it's my habit to try to see the bright side but if i was to get into a debate with my clone i wouldn't stand a chance in hell

a week after i'm told to prepare to get custody of my kids because the state is sick of the abuse they are receiving ,they tell me to cough up over 2 grand for child support or go to jail (one more week and you wont be hearing from me for a long time) i showed them check stubbs were i only got $90 out of a $1000 and all they can say is "well it's not in the computer so ,see'ya"

and hell guys don't have to worry about having children, women should have the same rights without having to take mind and body damaging medication.

from stem cell research to I.U.D.'s ,the U.S. shun's stuff that the rest of the world accepts with open arms.

whats up with I.U.D.'s now anyway ,does that form of birth control still mess with a womens hormones even though it doesn't contain any drugs?

it would at least leave the option for kids, open for the future,not that i would ever think less of someone if they had a more permanent solution.i could see where the piece of mind alone would be extreamly liberating

[machine]

Been awhile since I have posted, but this topic got my eye.

I have one on the way!

Due March 22nd, 2008 !

Finding out on Halloween what the sex it. (It's a coincidence that the apt is on Halloween. No, I did not request it.)

I have 2 nephews and 3 nieces that I have watched grow for the last 5 years.

I am 23, financially responsible and ready! Can't wait!

[sass_in_the_pants]

from stem cell research to I.U.D.'s ,the U.S. shun's stuff that the rest of the world accepts with open arms.

whats up with I.U.D.'s now anyway ,does that form of birth control still mess with a womens hormones even though it doesn't contain any drugs?

it would at least leave the option for kids, open for the future,not that i would ever think less of someone if they had a more permanent solution.i could see where the piece of mind alone would be extreamly liberating

IUDs are still around. They fell from popularity back in the 70s because there were alot of problems associated with them, but the technology has gotten significantly better. The major drawback to them still is that if you DO happen to get pregnant with an IUD in (VERY rare, but it can happen) it can really screw up the baby.

As a matter of fact, IUDs are often recommended as the ideal form of birth control for women who are nursing their newborn children, since it is an effective and hormone free form of birth control.

And Johnny, I know exactly what you are talking about when you said that kids can change an otherwise boring life. I didn't have a boring life before I was pregnant. Far from it. I have a job that I like very much, a husband who I love to spend time with, more friends than I can keep up with, hobbies, activities, passions, everything that someone has when they have a fullfilling life. And I LOVED my life.

And then I found out I was pregnant.

And my whole fullfilling world flipped upside down, and you know what, I LOVE my life STILL! And I am SO excited that we've got two little monkeys on the way! It's strange...I wasn't bored or anything BEFORE I was pregnant, but I guess now that I think about the changes that are happening I'm more excited than ever.

And frankly, I don't really care WHAT people do with their own DNA, as long as they don't leave it all over my house. If people don't want kids, that's their right, their business, and their lives. And it certainly doesn't mean someone is selfish or hates children or anything at all like that - as a matter of fact I am very grateful for a few very special 'aunties' in my life, who loved and cherished me and my sister, and who I love back just as much - they never had kids, they never wanted kids, but they're the best aunties a girl could ever hope for.

I know my girls will have a few 'aunties' of their own, and though these girlfriends of mine definitely have the 'better you than me' attitude towards children, they're really excited about the monkeys that are on their way, and they're really excited to spend time with them (as long as they can give them back to me when they're done

Strangely...I keep talking about women and babies, and not men and babies, but the weird thing is, ALL of the men I know want kids....hmmm...I never really gave that much thought before now.

[Rayne]

and just for the record, not everyone who has children loves being a mom... you'd be amazed how many times I've heard "I wish I'd had that choice when I was young" or "I wish I'd known what I really wanted back then". They always start with "I love my kids but..." I usually get the impression they've never expressed these feelings to anyone else... that kind of thing is really taboo in our society.

Yep. I don't feel that way, but I know people who do.

[pharoh]

I have two...both in thier mid 20's....named ben and sommer :D

[SpidersMoment]

BULLSHIT!

[Lillylu29]

I have 3

2 girls Alexandria(12) and Renee(10)..

1 boy Liam(6)

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

0 but, but I want some of own.

-CatsEye

[pomba gira]

whats up with I.U.D.'s now anyway ,does that form of birth control still mess with a womens hormones even though it doesn't contain any drugs?

The problem with IUDs isn't anything to do with hormones... there are/were IUDs that release hormones to increase their effectiveness but their main mode of action is to prevent a zygote from implanting in the uterine lining. Last I heard no one was quite sure why it works... the best guess was that having a foreign body in the uterus caused either a low-grade infection or an immune response that prevented implantation. The main problems with IUDs were increased risk of infections, and menstrual problems like heavy bleeding and pain. Back in the '70s they actually took one off the market (Dalkon Shield) because it caused so many severe cases of PID and other unpleasant effects, including fatal septic abortion (interesting case, totally criminal negligence and dishonesty by the inventor and the pharma that sold the things). Also, as sass i.t.p. mentioned, there's major risk to a fetus if pregnancy occurrs with the IUD in place.

If people don't want kids, that's their right, their business, and their lives. And it certainly doesn't mean someone is selfish or hates children or anything at all like that - as a matter of fact I am very grateful for a few very special 'aunties' in my life, who loved and cherished me and my sister, and who I love back just as much - they never had kids, they never wanted kids, but they're the best aunties a girl could ever hope for.

I know my girls will have a few 'aunties' of their own, and though these girlfriends of mine definitely have the 'better you than me' attitude towards children, they're really excited about the monkeys that are on their way, and they're really excited to spend time with them (as long as they can give them back to me when they're done

See, that's my attitude all the way. Us "aunties" get the best of both worlds! When I hear a friend is pregnant by choice, my first thought is indeed "better you than me"... but at the same time I am genuinely happy for them and thrilled at the thought of getting to be an auntie again. Earning the love and trust of a child is an honor and a magical thing, and I wouldn't want to go through life without it. A major reason I stayed in MI all this time was so I could be part of my nieces' & nephews' lives. But, from an early age I knew that I'm one of those women for whom the 24-7 responsibility of motherhood would be a source of stress and frustration rather than joy & fulfillment. Plus the whole process of pregnancy & childbirth sounds like the most un-fun thing I can imagine. I actually was pregnant once for a few months and it was horrible... like having some kind of tumor or parasite draining my strength and making me sick all the time. There was just no way I could work up any kind of positive feelings about it. I don't think I could ever abuse a child... but I certainly would have had huge feelings of resentment toward that child if it had been born, and I didn't see how that would be a good thing for anyone concerned.

With all that said, I think attitudes toward having kids are really influenced by family... there were several childless women in my extended family, so I grew up taking it as a matter of course that some women had kids and some didn't. I'm sure not all of them were childless by choice, but I'm still glad not to have grown up with the idea that having children is an inevitable part of being female.