Dating

[Shujin Ghost]

I've been out of a long term relationship now for about 4 yrs, finally starting to really think more openly about the idea of dating and to be honest. Thinking about it is scary has fuck . . . especially when I go in a book store and see on display on those damn bargain tables - Dating For Dummies Or The Idiots Guide To Dating. . . . if someone actually wrote these books . . . has dating changed that much ?

Tips ? Suggestions ? Opinions ? Thoughts ? Feelings ? Any would be greatly appreciated.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Dating books are crap. Your money is better spent buying some new lovely an ice cream cone.

Good luck, have fun, don't worry about a thing.

[Shujin Ghost]

I'm kind of the worrying guy, I try to sit back and take life has it comes but, can't seem to find a place to meet women in windsor. Then of course, there's the shy thing going where . . . ummm . . . opening line . . .

Its like watching a plane thats up in the air but then engine failure takes over . . . . not a pretty sight . . . funny when it comes to hindsight but, has its happening . . . . oh man . . . *shudders*

[Msterbeau]

Up for trying the online dating thing? Try OKCupid... Free, decent crowd... other fun distractions (quizzes) .

As for real life... The best way I've found is to be with friends in social situations that you have the opportunity to meet or be introduced to new people. That way the "breaking the ice" thing is a lot easier to deal with since you already have an intro.

I like Sass's idea too. :-)

[creatureofthenyte]

ok well worrying and shyness are things that you are going to Have to overcome.

The thing that sucks kind of,

is that you have to do this on your own.

There is no book that can magically help you out of those traits.

Women don't find shy, unconfident men attractive.

Most important step to overcoming your worries and shyness is; Believing in yourself.

You have to believe in yourself,

otherwise no one elses' words can help you.

Once you believe in yourself,

then nobody and nothing can stop you.

Just be yourself.

Good luck....

[Hellion]

Definately being yourself helps

[Shujin Ghost]

Thanks for the words everyone,

really, the friends that I have are with kids and married or getting married. I was thinking of heading to the City Club to meet some people . . . it sounds interesting but . . . . IDk

[SuZQZ]

Yes, try City Club on DGN night. At the very least you would meet some of the folks you play on line with, maybe make forge some new friendships and who knows, you may meet someone who sparks your interest further.

[Shade Everdark]

Yes, try City Club on DGN night. At the very least you would meet some of the folks you play on line with, maybe make forge some new friendships and who knows, you may meet someone who sparks your interest further.

I would very much like to say that it never worked for me (because that's my natural inclination), but it did.

[Msterbeau]

I would very much like to say that it never worked for me (because that's my natural inclination), but it did.

Hahahahahahahah!!! All your worries and fears and theories shot to hell...

[Scary Guy]

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html has all you need to know. That money is better spent on a forearm tatoo or save up and get a bike.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Definately being yourself helps

Well, being Matt Damon might help more, BUT, barring that, I'm not really sure who else you could effectively be besides yourself, so I guess go with that.

Go to CC - meet this bunch of miscreants. That will help. I don't know how old you are, but I can say that it gets tougher and tougher to meet single people as you get older, for the exact reason you mentioned - it used to be that everyone was single, and then people start pairing off, and your pool of eligible lovelies starts to shrink.

Still, I like to remind my single friends, you don't need every woman to be available, just one, the right one.

So, yes, get out there - go to parties, do activities that you like, just do social things, there are bound to be single women there, or at least women who think you're fabulous enough to meet THEIR single friends.

And you don't have to be captain smooth to get a date, either. As a matter of fact, any girl worth her stockings can see right through any sort of disgenuine ploy to snag her interest. If you are friendly, fun and sweet, that will charm them every time.

Don't pressure yourself, just keep an open mind.

And stop worrying for goodness sake! It's bad for your heart!

[hunhee]

dating? what's that?!?!?

I have been so busy with life lately, and I know you have, it's hard to get out there and meet people. You're definitely on the right path tho, by starting to be more actively posting on DGN. There's a lot of people on here, who know people, and who've stole from those people *giggles* jk.

There's definitely a diverse grouping of people here, from all walks of life. You just have to open yourself up, and allow the friendships to blossom, during that time, you may find someone that pique's your interests. Just let things happen naturally, and be patient. Things tend to happen when you relax and enjoy life.

I do agree, the more social settings you put yourself in, the more chances you have to meet people. Good luck, and hopefully we'll see you at a DGN night.

[Shujin Ghost]

The more I read how friendly and open everyone is in here . . . maybe going to CC won't be so bad of an experience - I mean at the least I can say that I went there.

I just . . . I kind of knew that dating would come up again in my life . . . and for some reason I am reminded of the movie - The 40 Yr Old Virgin - where they say ' you're putting the pussy up on a pedastol - thats your whole problem. '

I have a friend who says the same damn thing . . . yet, for me. He's been trying to give me tips about meeting a girl and, maybe someone can help clear things up a bit. He's said to not call a woman ' beautiful ' that just builds things up. For some reason, I have a feeling I know loosely what he's saying but for me, if I see a woman and I think she looks beautiful - I'm inclined to say that. I don't mind using the word ' hott ' but, I'm sure a woman hears that over and over again.

Blasted !

If thats the case - what are good words to use and for that matter what words do you ladies prefer us men to use ?

[Homicidalheathen]

Don't make the mistake allot of people do, and drink too much to losen up then make an ass of yourself. Don't go over 2 drinks. That helps. And don't guzzle those 2.

[Shujin Ghost]

Okay, got it 2 drink maximum . . . .

What else ?

[Kit Kat P]

stop trying, that's how I always end up w/ someone

take classes in something your interested in then your bound to meet someone who's into the same stuff, check out the free listings locally for music and such that you like

Desperation isn't a good cologne on anyone

[hunhee]

I like the word beautiful if said sincerely. In my case, it's hard for me to take compliments, so I get uncomfortable when things like that are said, although, saying them sometimes even though it causes discomfort, it's nice to hear, but usually from someone I know pretty well.

I have to agree with the pussy on a pedistal comment, you don't wanna build the girl up so much that she thinks you're a pussy yourself and takes advantage of you. Treat someone like an equal, no one person is above another. Girls like to be talked to, not at. Don't just pretend to be interested in what she's talking about, BE interested. A sincere gesture goes a long way.

OH yeah, don't think up cheesie pick up lines to pick girls up, they really don't work. I've never had a problem with a guy saying hi to me. That's always non-threatening.

Just a little advice

[Shade Everdark]

Hahahahahahahah!!! All your worries and fears and theories shot to hell...

Not really. Just that one.

I have legions more lined up.

[Msterbeau]

Not really. Just that one.

I have legions more lined up.

I have explosives.

[Shade Everdark]

I have explosives.

Ah, but do you have enough?

[Msterbeau]

Ah, but do you have enough?

Is 8.8 pounds of enriched Uranium enough? :-)

[damagedangel]

I find the idea of dating terrifying also. I've been out of the dating pool by my own choice for 4 years. It's hard to get back in, but my mom always taught me to get up, brush myself off and get back into the swing of things.

My advice? Be sincere. If you're not interested, don't act as though you are. Be yourself. Women want to meet men who are the same on the 25th date as they were on the first.

[Shujin Ghost]

Okay, didn't quite know where else to put the good news. After keeping everyones advice in mind, I actually went out on a date. I got a date with a 'dancer' she was smoking. I played it smooth and, with hopes I will hear back from her but for breaking the ice - getting my feet wet so to speak. I think it was great.

I know, I know - details.

We were both running behind on sunday she called to say she was running behind so I called to say that I was running behind and got her message. I was running behind since I had to go out and do some clothes shopping to make myself look good. New clothes make one hell of a big difference - hmmm - ~ponders~ maybe thats why women go clothes shopping so much.

I picked her up and the funny thing, great mind think alike. We both had the same colors going. The plan was to take her out into the county area, where there is a japanese flower garden. It looks beautiful online and she likes sushi and myself, never tried it - so I was willing. We drove around and I got lost but I laughed it off and made some funny frustrated cartoon like noises ~don't ask~ By the time, I figured out where we were going they were locking the gates. So we drove around for an hour talking and laughing, getting to know one another. Oh yeah, if you do a search for ' fujisawa zen gardens ' you'll find the website I'm sure.

Finally, we ended up on Erie Street. Remember, I'm a Maple Syrup Slinger ~wink~ We went to Mezzo, Italian food. It was my first time there and it was incredible, we had a small booth and the atmosphere was fantastic. For the first time I had a martini, it kind of took me for a little loop but I was excited since I was on a date with an absolutely fantastic young lady and it was a night of first experiences all the way around. New food, New drink, New company - how can you not be on cloud . . . 13.

Then, it was getting late but so we finished up the night with a short walk at the Detroit River right near the Ambassador Bridge. Windsor side we have an art park thats not bad but the light from the bridge on the water was beautiful. I brought her home and she gave me a kiss good night and I couldn't resist so I tilted her chin up and I had to take a small nibble of her neck. She smelled incredible and the taste of . . . mmmmm. ~drools~

FYI - for some reason I have a neck fetish kicking right now and its just incredibly hard to really think of anything else more exquisite then just the feel and taste of a neck between my lips and teeth.

[Scary Guy]

Here I got this for you