Phee Rant

[phee]

What the hell?

I am 30 years old and I still have friends that are threatening to "have words" with each other. Other people are encouraging people to "have words" with each other. Life it too short for this sort of CRAP! People are showing up out of the blue just to try to hurt other people. People are self destructive and other people get caught in the blast radius.

I know... this is nothing new... but my tolerence for these parts of human nature (especially my own) is waring thin...

I feel so weak and useless myself these days... I can't even take care of myself barely... and people still have time to threaten others and delibratly cause chaos in other peoples lives?

I just don't understand anymore

[Crazed Vampyress]

*supportive hug*

i feel ya. more often than i would like i find myself looking at the actions of people around me and going "WHEN did we regress back to 6th grade?!? WTF?!!"

[freydis]

That crap gets old real fast.

Especially now. Why bother?

[Der Nister]

For some people - they live in a perpetual twilight of high school.

Or you could say for them, they haven't grown past the age where maturity dictacts a better behavior.

[SuZQZ]

To me it almost seems that some people just need to have drama in their lives, be it "having words", holding on to a dead relationship, trying to make those around them as miserable as they are. It is almost as if it gives them a reason to get up everyday. I don't get it. If someone tries to suck me in to that mode of thinking/behavior I just distance myself from them. It's getting easier and easier to do.

[Msterbeau]

To me it almost seems that some people just need to have drama in their lives, be it "having words", holding on to a dead relationship, trying to make those around them as miserable as they are. It is almost as if it gives them a reason to get up everyday. I don't get it. If someone tries to suck me in to that mode of thinking/behavior I just distance myself from them. It's getting easier and easier to do.

Quoted for agreement.

[Brenda Starrr]

Maybe it's time to card your friends. I'm serious.

I have literally removed myself from friendships lately for this very reason. People making threats because they're not getting their way. Boo fucking hoo. I will be 42 years old this Sunday. Sure, I still love a good time. Yeah, my sense of humor is pretty sick. But, when it comes to threats and "having words," I just think that it's time to choose your battles appropriately and stop being so childish.

It drives me nuts.

[Kit Kat P]

I've had to move on from countless people for this reason, I just don't have the time for your BS.

[Fierce Critter]

I feel for you, Phee. And since you come off as a generally amiable guy who's difficult to get a rise out of, I'd say things are pretty suck if you are feeling this way.

I never had many friends. And just last night, I was remarking to Jon in an off-handed way that I have none right now. Zero. I have a couple people I hang out with once in a very, very great while. But that's about it. Jon and my family are my only friends.

Part of this is because I myself got sick of pettiness. I don't have time in my life for people who practice negativity on a regular basis.

I've also been majorly, directly fucked with and fucked over repeatedly by a few people over the past decade or so. Initially, this taught me to be careful when being forgiving and giving people a 2nd chance. But now the end result is generally I cut such people out of my life - period. I don't purposefully fuck with someone for the sake of fucking with them. I don't want someone in my life who feels no qualms about behaving that way.

[TygerLili]

Word! People need to grow up!

I, too, have a very short list of people I consider true "friends" because I've tried hard to distance myself from the people causing drama in my life.

My boyfriend's friends and family, on the other hand, seem to love drama. It's gotten better since we've been together as he's started to adopt my stance on avoiding them when they're trying to start something, but it used to drive me up the freakin wall.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I'm not sure how being angry with someone and wanting to express those feelings is a "high school" mentality. If this person is angry enough at you that they want to "have words" with you... What did you do that pissed them off so bad? Nothing is not the correct answer. This person or persons beleives you did/said something that offends them greatly in someway. Maybe instead of blowing them off.. you could find out whats wrong and fix it.. if fixing can be done or it's not a misunderstanding. I mean.. people.. even in highschool dont just get mad enough at someone to "have words" unless they at least percieve a slight.

Real life isn't like DGN. There are no "play nice" rules... if you piss someone off for what ever reason... they can and will tell you what they think of what you did/said/did not do... and in most cases an "I'm sorry. I'll never do/say that again." fixes the problem without having to loose a friend. You have to admit responsibility... but there are worse things that one ahs to do in life.

[creatureofthenyte]

What the hell?

I am 30 years old and I still have friends that are threatening to "have words" with each other. Other people are encouraging people to "have words" with each other. Life it too short for this sort of CRAP! People are showing up out of the blue just to try to hurt other people. People are self destructive and other people get caught in the blast radius.

I know... this is nothing new... but my tolerence for these parts of human nature (especially my own) is waring thin...

I feel so weak and useless myself these days... I can't even take care of myself barely... and people still have time to threaten others and delibratly cause chaos in other peoples lives?

I just don't understand anymore

You could just bring them into one room together and tell them to speak now or just shut the fuck up....

[saechalyn]

I'm not sure how being angry with someone and wanting to express those feelings is a "high school" mentality. If this person is angry enough at you that they want to "have words" with you... What did you do that pissed them off so bad? Nothing is not the correct answer. This person or persons beleives you did/said something that offends them greatly in someway. Maybe instead of blowing them off.. you could find out whats wrong and fix it.. if fixing can be done or it's not a misunderstanding. I mean.. people.. even in highschool dont just get mad enough at someone to "have words" unless they at least percieve a slight.

Real life isn't like DGN. There are no "play nice" rules... if you piss someone off for what ever reason... they can and will tell you what they think of what you did/said/did not do... and in most cases an "I'm sorry. I'll never do/say that again." fixes the problem without having to loose a friend. You have to admit responsibility... but there are worse things that one ahs to do in life.

I must agree. Unless "have words" is some kind of code for "beat the shit out of someone" and I missed it.

[Destroit]

I can see if it's a legitimate concern, but yeah I've noticed that drama starters always seem to have some "legitimate concern" and they'll voice it, and ten seconds later your frontal lobe is screaming "What the fuck is wrong with this defect? That's not even a real fucking issue, here, there, nor anywhere, ever." I generally try to x those people out, which I hate doing, I make an attempt at trying to make shit work, but some people are straight out hopeless. I'm guilty that sometimes people's lifestyles and choices bother me, I'm not rude about it to the person, but I usually tend not to get very close to them and keep my distance.

[Msterbeau]

I must agree. Unless "have words" is some kind of code for "beat the shit out of someone" and I missed it.

Yeah... I get the feeling that it's more then just working out differences.

[Jadis]

I don't think people who are running -their- mouths have a right to have words with anyone.

I think the important thing is to not worry about anyone but yourself. If you don't care that someone wants to "have words" with you then it's no biggie.

[Steven]

I feel for you, Phee. And since you come off as a generally amiable guy who's difficult to get a rise out of, I'd say things are pretty suck if you are feeling this way.

I never had many friends. And just last night, I was remarking to Jon in an off-handed way that I have none right now. Zero. I have a couple people I hang out with once in a very, very great while. But that's about it. Jon and my family are my only friends.

Part of this is because I myself got sick of pettiness. I don't have time in my life for people who practice negativity on a regular basis.

I've also been majorly, directly fucked with and fucked over repeatedly by a few people over the past decade or so. Initially, this taught me to be careful when being forgiving and giving people a 2nd chance. But now the end result is generally I cut such people out of my life - period. I don't purposefully fuck with someone for the sake of fucking with them. I don't want someone in my life who feels no qualms about behaving that way.

Not Fair - you KNOW I got love for you Camille....

[Shade Everdark]

trying to make those around them as miserable as they are. It is almost as if it gives them a reason to get up everyday.

I do my best.

To the topic at hand, if they keep it up, dump 'em. They obviously won't be mature enough to be your friend. Don't ever, ever attach yourself so close to someone that if they engage in repeated monumentally stupid behavior that you overlook it to continue being their friend.

[Fierce Critter]

Not Fair - you KNOW I got love for you Camille....

Aw, thanks.

But seriously - I have not been in a position to foster face-to-face friendships for many years. Isolation, depression, focusing on my marriage. I haven't been very good at including others in my life.

I have a lot of potential friends out there. People I keep "threatening" to get together with - and it keeps falling through. And I don't blame anyone but myself.

Enough about me. Back to Phee...

I disagree that if someone has a beef with someone else, there is always something to it.

There are plenty of people out there who beef just to beef. I can't stand these people. They make up shit just to have something to go on about.

These are the types of people who never make it past the "acquaintance" stage with me.

[phee]

Yeah... I get the feeling that it's more then just working out differences.

Correct

[phee]

I'm not sure how being angry with someone and wanting to express those feelings is a "high school" mentality. If this person is angry enough at you that they want to "have words" with you... What did you do that pissed them off so bad? Nothing is not the correct answer. This person or persons beleives you did/said something that offends them greatly in someway. Maybe instead of blowing them off.. you could find out whats wrong and fix it.. if fixing can be done or it's not a misunderstanding. I mean.. people.. even in highschool dont just get mad enough at someone to "have words" unless they at least percieve a slight.

Real life isn't like DGN. There are no "play nice" rules... if you piss someone off for what ever reason... they can and will tell you what they think of what you did/said/did not do... and in most cases an "I'm sorry. I'll never do/say that again." fixes the problem without having to loose a friend. You have to admit responsibility... but there are worse things that one ahs to do in life.

For the record no one wants to "have words" (or beat the crap out of) me (that I know of)... these are two people are friends of mine... and actually it's only one that has a problem with the other... under false pretenses but refuses to examine the situation any further (and in his defense he is getting very reverse psychologically egged on by a third party)... I digress

And the other thing... well this is another person that has a beef with someone I care about... but this goes far beyond "highschool" and actually delves into "Institutional".... and this case is not about ego but about revenge...

I digress again

[SuZQZ]

For the record no one wants to "have words" (or beat the crap out of) me (that I know of)... these are two people are friends of mine... and actually it's only one that has a problem with the other... under false pretenses but refuses to examine the situation any further (and in his defense he is getting very reverse psychologically egged on by a third party)... I digress

And the other thing... well this is another person that has a beef with someone I care about... but this goes far beyond "highschool" and actually delves into "Institutional".... and this case is not about ego but about revenge...

I digress again

First paragraph - Sounds like it is totally out of your hands. Perhaps distancing yourself from the situation, the best you can, may be a good idea.

Second paragraph - How mentally and emotionally draining that must be. Ack!

Good luck. Try not to let it all in and infect your thoughts and life. Keep sight of what you realistically can and can not do. If you can do nothing, seperate yourself from the situations.

[Hellion]

How antisocialism is caused,MOST PEOPLE SUCK!)

and ASSUMPTIONS,the mother of all fuckups

thank fucking goth that some of the people

that lied,talked crap never ever knew my mother or

my sister,or my brother,since they would love to try

to have them hate me too.ain't no way anyone here or else where is

ever going to be able to succeed in that.

considering I run the show,and keep family members away.

Also there seems to be alot of side taking bs,on here,everything is better

when people can stay neutral.(Switzerland)

hope things get better Phee

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Oh, well.. thats different. Even blurry details, are better than ultra vaque.

What SuZ said.

[pharoh]

I can sympathize Phee, goin through something kinda similar myself....best of luck buddy, I'm here if you need me