Kicked 2 The Curb

[Destroit]

Awwww...I'd say don't be so down but I'd hate to tell you it's a natural discourse of human life. Not only is Vivian correct on the pampering...but I see you as being very imaginative like me (forgive me if I'm wrong) and you seem like a muse/creator type of person. If you're not then just skip this advice...but...in times like this - CREATE! Write a book, short story, prose, poem, essay, etc. Not good with words? Then paint or draw or do what you gotta...afterwards you feel more accomplished. It psychologically sets you into a mind-frame of being more worthwhile...AND you're doing something nurturing and positive without him, which is good because basically it shows you don't need him.

We're always here, Pomba deary, no matter who leaves ya. Hope to meet you at Reaper/Daevion's party on Saturday (and PLEASE still go...A) because I got excited knowing I get to meet you in person and B) it'll get your mind off of everything and you'll have good drunk times where you realize there's more people out there that care about you as a person) Hang in there!

[pomba gira]

I will be at the party... thanks to Eternal & Bean Water who are dragging me along. I know I should get out & be around friends rather than mope around the house weeping and thinking about him winging his way to be with her tomorrow... but I really don't know how much fun I'll be. So I apologize in advance for bringing my aura of despair into a social occasion. I was starting to feel a tiny shred better but... major setback last nite...

I didn't think I could possibly be any more hurt but I was wrong again... I went to post on my Y360 blog last nite and saw that Josh had made a new entry in his (first one in 5 months)... so out of pure masochistic curiosity I look and he's going on about how he never thought we were "long term" and he didn't really believe we had a future... and how into this other woman he is... and I just sobbed uncontrollably for the next half hour. Why did he say all those love things to me if he never meant it? Why did he ask me to marry him? Did he really believe it was all as trivial to me as it apparently was to him? He must be laughing at me now for being so utterly cluelessly stupid from beginning to end.

The worst thing is I still can't feel any hate or anger toward him. Just incredible hurt and confusion.

[Shade Everdark]

I will be at the party... thanks to Eternal & Bean Water who are dragging me along. I know I should get out & be around friends rather than mope around the house weeping and thinking about him winging his way to be with her tomorrow... but I really don't know how much fun I'll be. So I apologize in advance for bringing my aura of despair into a social occasion. I was starting to feel a tiny shred better but... major setback last nite...

I didn't think I could possibly be any more hurt but I was wrong again... I went to post on my Y360 blog last nite and saw that Josh had made a new entry in his (first one in 5 months)... so out of pure masochistic curiosity I look and he's going on about how he never thought we were "long term" and he didn't really believe we had a future... and how into this other woman he is... and I just sobbed uncontrollably for the next half hour. Why did he say all those love things to me if he never meant it? Why did he ask me to marry him? Did he really believe it was all as trivial to me as it apparently was to him? He must be laughing at me now for being so utterly cluelessly stupid from beginning to end.

The worst thing is I still can't feel any hate or anger toward him. Just incredible hurt and confusion.

Bah, don't apologize for bringing despair into a social situation. You're doing my job, a Shade by proxy, if you will.

[Destroit]

Bah, don't apologize for bringing despair into a social situation. You're doing my job, a Shade by proxy, if you will.

Sooo....I'm confused. Will she be fired upon arrival of CC if you're there? Or will there just be two Shades?

Pomba...we'll all understand if you're a bit down and we'll try our best to cheer you up!

[Shade Everdark]

Sooo....I'm confused. Will she be fired upon arrival of CC if you're there? Or will there just be two Shades?

Pomba...we'll all understand if you're a bit down and we'll try our best to cheer you up!

Nah, she'll simply be a Shade-in-training, of course.

She has yet to complete the cynicism, dry wit, and bitterness sections of my seminar.

[Brenda Starrr]

Nah, she'll simply be a Shade-in-training, of course.

She has yet to complete the cynicism, dry wit, and bitterness sections of my seminar.

Shade, you ARE the master. But, it's a cute trait coming from you.

[Lillylu29]

sorry girl to hear about your misfortunes...I'm here if yea wanna talk

[pomba gira]

Well I am feeling... dunno 'bout "better", but a little stronger... a little more like myself... able to think semi-clearly again. Had an interesting conversation with "the other woman" Friday night (yes, I actually called her and asked why she couldn't just let me have him and why she had to come out of nowhere and fuck up my life... she said "who's this?") & that seems to have steadied me a bit for whatever reason. Maybe just feeling like I have a better understanding of the situation. Whatever... life goes on. Which I knew, but it was damn hard to feel/believe last week. So. Wait & see, live through, watch lots of Trigun & Samurai Champloo episodes. Thank you all for your love & support, it means so much!

[Homicidalheathen]

Heart break you would think gets easier with age but I think the older you are the harder you fall. See ya tomorrow. It never gets any easier.