My Hair Is Ruining My Life

[Fierce Critter]

Jon and I talked the other day. I have lots of great clothes, it takes me all of 10 minutes to do a really good make-up job, and I don't have to wear my glasses when out socially.

So why don't I ever dress up and go out?

I realized - it's my fucking hair. I can't do anything with it anymore. And I don't know what to do to fix the situation.

In high school, I had the Robert-Smith mullet. Easy as hell to do - wash, whip a towel over it, swish it around, poof! Just add Aqua Net.

Then, at the very end of Senior year, I got my first spiral perm.

And I had spiral perms until about 3 years ago.

I'm trying so hard to not perm it anymore. All old perm is gone, cut out. It's cut shorter than I like, but I wanted - NEEDED - the damage gone.

What I'm left with is limp, fine, unshapely, sparse hair. I have a slight shag cut back and sides, with no bangs. I have these MASSIVE cowlicks on the very front - my hair does this massive SWOOOOOP up from the center part up and over.

I keep talking about coloring it. But that's not going to solve this, I know it's not.

I flatironed it one night and it looked so good, I took pictures. But I tried to re-create what I did - and it didn't come out even close.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want short hair, that's out. I think I'd love extensions of some kind, but I can't afford them. I don't know how to style my hair without having to wash it, dry it with a round brush, flatiron it, then attempt to backcomb it without geetting too ratty and spray it into place. And then, having to start from scratch the next day because sleeping on it destroys it.

God, I need suggestions soo bad. Maybe I should take a picture of what it looks like right now - washed, dried, and just finger-styled. You'd see how bad it is. But I can't stand anyone seeing me like this.

I'm so fucking upset. Jon feels so bad for me. He's got this massive head of thick, beautiful chestnut hair. Short, long, it always looks great with a simple comb & gel. He can be ready to head out the door in 5 minutes. It takes me an hour.

Sigh. :(

Believe it or not, that's a big reason I opted out of the party tonight. I just don't know how to make myself look decent without going all-out.

HELP.

[freydis]

i wish my friend Trena were still around... (she's out in PA now) she was always AMAZING with stuff like this and in between moving from PA to here, she never got her licence changed over, so she performed her miracles at her house and took barter or reasonable fees for what she did. :/ i miss trena.... (she used to be out in hazel park)

[Fierce Critter]

Barter, I can do, if I can find someone to do something with this mess.

I got a 27" TV and a DVD surround-sound I'm already trying to sell. If I can find someone who can work a miracle on me, I can figure something out.

I also make jewelry, examples of which are in a thread in this forum entitled "my beadwork" or something like that.

I really wish I could get a weave or extensions of some kind. I just want more.

[Nienna]

I have fine, think somewhat sparse hair too. What I've found to do that works best is a razor cut with lots of layers. It started out as an asemetrical bob about chin legnth but I'm growing it out and the cut seems to look great at the longer legnth too. The layers let me have the underside longer and the top layers shorter so they have less weight and "poof" away from my head. I use Bed Head volume and straight together, and then blowdry up0side down. After that I put my part where I'm putting it and flatiron it. Also, if you're using one of the wider flatirons, try the thinner ones and iron it straight up from the head a couple of inches and them angle your iron down towards your shoulders. Makes a little curl near the scalp to create smooth body.

Also found that the darker the color, the more sparse it looks.

[littlepinkkitty]

although its expensive i have a stylist that i go to every 7 weeks. She takes good care of me. I would say to go atleast once and get an easy to deal with hair cut. Also dont go to a fantastic sams or borics(not to blast them) go to an actual salon where you have to make reservations....i have been very pleased with my hair since i switched to a nicer place.

[SuZQZ]

although its expensive i have a stylist that i go to every 7 weeks. She takes good care of me. I would say to go atleast once and get an easy to deal with hair cut. Also dont go to a fantastic sams or borics(not to blast them) go to an actual salon where you have to make reservations....i have been very pleased with my hair since i switched to a nicer place.

I agree. If you go to a stylist at a reputable salon they can give you ideas of what will and will not work for your hair type and texture and recommend products, too. Once you get something you like you can go to the cheaper places for up keep. The stylist I see is not cheap, but I am paying for her expertise. She has been doing hair for 20 years and twice a year she attends training classes in New York to learn new techniques, etc. Worth every penny.

[Nienna]

I highly recommend Through Luna's Eyes in Royal Oak. I've had several great cuts / color jobs!

[Homicidalheathen]

Seriously is it that bad???

I liked your perm. I really did. You have naturally light colored hair so I would think the damage was minimal.....you don't need dye that lightens.....?

[Fierce Critter]

Seriously is it that bad???

I liked your perm. I really did. You have naturally light colored hair so I would think the damage was minimal.....you don't need dye that lightens.....?

Yeah, it's that bad.

I liked my hair permed, too. Especially once it had grown out a bit, and styled with simple blow drying, not too hot or strong to keep it from getting double-fried.

But I don't like what it does to my hair anymore. Tired of the frizz, etc.

My straight hair is wavy, just wavy in the wrong places. It's so unruly.

And I ae so little of it. My styling options are fewer than most brunettes.

Sigh. I stiill don't know what I'm gonig to do. Still thinking I want to get a weave. Thing is, I've watched videos on how it's done. There's a simple method that I am sure I could do myself - but not on myself, you know?