I'm Not Sure What To Call Her Now

[LadyKay]

This is kind of stupid yet funny. I grew up being taught that you should address a women "ma' ma and a guy "sir". I was at work the other day and the assistant manager who happens to be a woman asked me a question. I answered her by saying "yes ma' ma". She got all offended, snapped at me and told me not to call her ma' ma. I just said, "uh sorry" and nothing more. Now when she address me I have to stop myself from saying "Yes ma' ma or No ma' ma" because it's ingrained in me that you call people ma' ma or sir as I sign of respect. I never meant it as an insult, which I guess, is the way she took it. It seems I am forever offending people no matter what I say.

[xbittergracex]

She's an idiot for being offended by good manners.

Call her Ma'am anyways.

[Fierce Critter]

Yes, if you actually meant to type "ma'am" and not "ma ma", you are being absolutely courteous and proper.

If she has a problem, it is HER problem. And you should just give her a polite, "I'm sorry, I was trying to be polite - how would you prefer I address you?"

I myself when it comes to addressing women whose marital status I don't know, will generally refer to a woman as "Ms." (miz) so-and-so. The only person I ever met who had a problem with that was a friend who married a man with the last name Markham or something like that, but kept her maiden name. I called her Ms. DiNapoli, and she would constantly correct me and say, "MRS." (missus) DiNapoli. I think it bothered her that people gave her shit for keeping her maiden name, so she felt a need to justify it by insisting on the "missus".

My mother is interesting. I have never had a problem addressing a younger woman - even when I myself was young - by saying, "Miss?" particularly in retail when I needed help. But my mother will address a woman by saying simply, "Missus?" That has always sounded off in my head.

[CountdownToBreakdown]

Well, considering I am a staff sergeant in ARMY JROTC I automatically call everyone "sir" ot "ma'am"

I would have asked what she wanted to be called, but seriously what's wrong with being called "ma'am"?

My cadets address me as that and I always expect it.

I'd prefer that just to know I was respected.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Well, considering I am a staff sergeant in ARMY JROTC I automatically call everyone "sir" ot "ma'am"

I would have asked what she wanted to be called, but seriously what's wrong with being called "ma'am"?

My cadets address me as that and I always expect it.

I'd prefer that just to know I was respected.

As I am here sitting at my Army Reserve Unit, and actually in the army, NCO's are not called sir or ma'am. They are called Sergeant. Or Sergeant First Class, or Master Sergeant, or First Sergeant.

Only Officers are called Sir or Ma'am. Lower Enlisted are what their rank it, or simply by their last name.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Bitch?

Just a thought.

[Head Wreck]

Well, considering I am a staff sergeant in ARMY JROTC I automatically call everyone "sir" ot "ma'am"

I would have asked what she wanted to be called, but seriously what's wrong with being called "ma'am"?

My cadets address me as that and I always expect it.

I'd prefer that just to know I was respected.

i'd personally string up any of my cadets when i was a kid for addressing me as sir, i ran things on name basis and i hated formalities, often "forgot" to tranfer my rank inignia to my jacket. often it was a shock for cadets when i taught them drill to actually shout and address people formally and wear all my uniform (i hated the lanyard, never wore the berets and rarely wore a peaked cap once i earned that).

As I am here sitting at my Army Reserve Unit, and actually in the army, NCO's are not called sir or ma'am. They are called Sergeant. Or Sergeant First Class, or Master Sergeant, or First Sergeant.

Only Officers are called Sir or Ma'am. Lower Enlisted are what their rank it, or simply by their last name.

same goes for British army, and i don't know the rank structure of the US, but there's a lot of ranks to go through before you become a commissioned officer. and NCO's never by their name unless its an informal occasion.

[TomCat]

She's an idiot for being offended by good manners.

Call her Ma'am anyways.

Agreed. Civility comes in many forms, yet so rarely, that I personally want to pinch peoples eyballs with needlenose pliers for getting offended by actualy receiving such a rare gift.

[Steven]

As I am here sitting at my Army Reserve Unit, and actually in the army, NCO's are not called sir or ma'am. They are called Sergeant. Or Sergeant First Class, or Master Sergeant, or First Sergeant.

Only Officers are called Sir or Ma'am. Lower Enlisted are what their rank it, or simply by their last name.

thats cause "THEY WORK FOR A LIVING" (I still remember)

[TomCat]

what of the Specialists? Damn, they never get their due...LOL

[Destroit]

I guess some people now a days don't like being called "ma'am" or "sir", it's too formal and creates this sort of tension really. Like some bosses are so laid back they don't really like the boss thing and would rather be considered a mentor or co-worker kind of deal. I've worked for these kinds of people before. My boss for instance I never call him Mr. or say Sir, I just call him Mike, and he's not a young guy either, he's gotta be 60 something. If I called him Sir or Mr. he'd probably look at me weird because our work environment is very laid back.

Also, it's bothers some people because it "makes them feel old". I've heard that from a number of people who don't like to be called ma'am or sir.

I'd say if the lady is youngish (under 55) it would be safe to call her by her first name.

[CandyQuackenbush]

thats cause "THEY WORK FOR A LIVING" (I still remember)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[CandyQuackenbush]

what of the Specialists? Damn, they never get their due...LOL

As a Specialist, we just go by our last names. Hell, even the E5's, they get called by last names too. It's all about the comfy-ness of your platoon.

[CountdownToBreakdown]

As I am here sitting at my Army Reserve Unit, and actually in the army, NCO's are not called sir or ma'am. They are called Sergeant. Or Sergeant First Class, or Master Sergeant, or First Sergeant.

Only Officers are called Sir or Ma'am. Lower Enlisted are what their rank it, or simply by their last name.

Yeah. Our Army JROTC program doesn't have many officers right now though (graduation killed us and we're still going through promotions although I have no clue why it's taking an entire stupid school year)

But I don't know.

I think I'm getting promoted soon. =]

You're in the army? Cool! I've thought about joining but I'm not really for sure.

What's your job there?

[Msterbeau]

Bitch?

Just a thought.

Bwahahhahaha!!

Best post today.

[know_buddy_kares]

same goes for British army, and i don't know the rank structure of the US, but there's a lot of ranks to go through before you become a commissioned officer. and NCO's never by their name unless its an informal occasion.

just a tidbit of trivial military information for you if you're curious...

in the us, you either start as enlisted or commisioned officer. you have to have college credits for becoming an officer. There is a warrant officer that an enlisted member can choose to become after attaining a high enough rank, wich I like to say is like a hybrid between enlisted and officer, but that's just a whole new can of worms

The training for enlisted and officer here are two totally seperate entaties

now to not totally threadjack this...

you cannot please everyone. Someone, somewhere, is going to be butt-hurt about something. There's just no avoiding it, even if you're as curteous and proper as can be. This is kinda why I said fuck it and just do things to my liking and really don't worry who i piss off or not. If I were you, I'd give her a stupid look and just say, "ok sir!"

S.tupid

I.gnorant

R.etard

[Head Wreck]

very similar here, everyone must pass basic infantry training though. then the officers get carted of to sandhurst if they have the entry qualifications which is an increase in training for hardship, but all the other necessary skills needed, including one i was dreading, starting at the entrance of the training collage, your to go to your room, change into the pre assigned uniform and present yourself back at the entrance within an allocated time, dressed properly.

unfortunately a silly descission to impress a young lady with my daring ended up with 4 broken bones in my leg bi didnt notice till the adrenaline wore of 7 miles later (and then it fucking hurt)

pronounciation is the key to Ma'am. anyone who managed to speak to me sober when i visited would notice that even with the lysp theres a definate differance in clarity over my accent and the michigan "drawl"

[Rayne]

i'd personally string up any of my cadets when i was a kid for addressing me as sir, i ran things on name basis and i hated formalities, often "forgot" to tranfer my rank inignia to my jacket. often it was a shock for cadets when i taught them drill to actually shout and address people formally and wear all my uniform (i hated the lanyard, never wore the berets and rarely wore a peaked cap once i earned that).

same goes for British army, and i don't know the rank structure of the US, but there's a lot of ranks to go through before you become a commissioned officer. and NCO's never by their name unless its an informal occasion.

I would have suffered hardcore calling even officers in our ROTC sir or ma'am. We always reffered by rank. If it got confusing, rank and last name. I graduated after for years and a Major. Occasionally, I was reffered to as Commander at drill team practices and competions because I commanded a few. Any othertime, or outside of a drill team I wasn't commanding I was adressed as my rank.

My Dad on the otherhand was a LT. In the Marines ... We ALWAYS had to call him sir.

Non military aside I usually use Miss when I don't know. We should just go back to calling women Lady and men Lord. Simplier. From now on -- I am Lady Rayne. Simple. Unless Phee declares himself a Duke. Then I'd be Duchess Rayne.

.... Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. ...

[Morbid Side]

Did you know in Britian, if you call someone m'am they will look at you clueless? The polite thing to say is Miss. It sounds nicer to me, but it all has to do with their maritial status.

[know_buddy_kares]

Did you know in Britian, if you call someone m'am they will look at you clueless? The polite thing to say is Miss. It sounds nicer to me, but it all has to do with their maritial status.

I think Headwreak should start a thread teaching us British etiquette ^_^

[Hellion]

When it comes to rude disrespectful inconsiderate people,I have choice words for them,thats all.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Yeah. Our Army JROTC program doesn't have many officers right now though (graduation killed us and we're still going through promotions although I have no clue why it's taking an entire stupid school year)

But I don't know.

I think I'm getting promoted soon. =]

You're in the army? Cool! I've thought about joining but I'm not really for sure.

What's your job there?

21 Echo. Heavy Equipment Operator.

Been doing it for going on 6 years in April. I love my job, and I don't mind deployments because that's where I shine :-D.

[Head Wreck]

I think Headwreak should start a thread teaching us British etiquette ^_^

I don't know about etiquette, I've been shoved into positions, such as wine waiter when His Royal Highness The Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester dined at one of the training camps i attended in SJA (cant remember if it was my final NCO rank qualification or one of the instructor grades). i think its because i have a habit of growling, or at least glaring at the slightest breach of manners at the table (not even the chair of the council was immune to my growls when he attended breakfast still in his sleeping bag).

on a whole people generally dont follow manners. this week i have failed to resist the urge to inform people to "Close your fucking mouth when your eating" "dont talk with your mouth full" and "get your cunting shoes of the fucking table you squid-fucker"

[jadnifer]

Keep up with your manners. Most people appreciate it.

Maybe she just had a "sandy-vagina" that day!

[Head Wreck]

Maybe she just had a "sandy-vagina" that day!

HA HA HA

oh dear, that really did make me throw my head back with laughter