How Old Is Old Enough

[Homicidalheathen]

My friend wont let her kid date yet.......she is 15.

And she wont let her date a 18 yr old. I think 4 yrs is a good limit to age for teens.

personally I think if she holds her back to much it could back fire......my parents tried so I just snuck out and rebelled harder

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

That depends soley on the child and parents involved.

[Destroit]

16ish. They're usually just not mature enough before then.

[Steven]

That depends soley on the child and parents involved.

exactly what he said.

[TygerLili]

I agree with Steven and Gaf on this one.

[bean]

I'm with Steven and Gaf too.

[hunhee]

Well, according to my father, I'm STILL not old enough to date.

Too bad he lost the privilege of limiting my dating abilities when I started to pay my own bills, and moved out of the house..hehe

I'm SOOOOO glad I don't have kids, because I don't think I'd let mine date ever either. Too much shit in the world. BUT I agree with the crowd, depends on the kid, and depends on the parent. I would definitely arm my kid with more than my parents armed me with, I didn't get that "sex talk" till I was 24.

[CountdownToBreakdown]

Hm, I kinda agree with Steven and Gaf, but it is an issue that everyone has a different opinion on that needs to be considered.

On one hand I see the parents point of view.

But then again I started dating when I was 14.

Now I'm 16, and I think I realize more of what dating and such are all about.

As long as the child is careful and keeps a level head, a 15 year old and 18 year old dating is ok.

It's all a matter of individuality.

But maybe I'm just rambling...

[ManicQueen]

My daughter is 14 and there is no way in hell she's dating yet.

[SuZQZ]

That depends soley on the child and parents involved.

Agreed. With that said I can tell you this parent, me, has decided my daughter can date once she has her college degree. She tends to lack focus and is a bit flighty around the boys already... and she's only 11. Pray for me.......

[CountdownToBreakdown]

My daughter is 14 and there is no way in hell she's dating yet.

Yeah. I see your point. I kinda wish I hadn't started dating at 14 sometimes.

I was only in the 8th grade, so I mean, what 8th grader honestly needs a relationship?

Making a transition from grade school to high school needs focus, and most students don't need a relationship on top of that, right?

[creatureofthenyte]

I agree with Steven & Gaf.

I remember a time, way back in the day, when girls weren't even allowed to wear make-up till they were 16.

Nowadays, 11 yr olds are lookin like 24 yr olds.

If I had a daughter, she wouldn't date till she was 16 er 17

Anything younger then that is just askin for trouble.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I think its more about educating kids not to do anything freaking stupid (like getting pregnant) as soon as possible or doing such an amazing job of brainwashing the kids into not even thinking about the opposite sex as anything other than neutral play-pals (only half joking there). Unless you have them under total lock and key they are going to start being involved in one way or another when they want to, not when we tell them to.

The definition of dating is in question here a bit since it can be view as a shaded thing. "Totally unsupervised dating" i guess might be what we are talking about. Does spending time interacting with the opposite sex, often unsupervised = dating? Don't kid yourself , kids are unsupervised a lot, even with a teacher or babysitter around. So in essence most of us were "dating" from Kinder garden onwards and at some point (long before age 15-16) having various romantic thoughts. I defiantly never got "permission" to have a girlfriend at any point growing up, i just ended up with one.

Regardless of mom and dads perhaps overly pollyanna view of us or their ability to shield us form the world, we are out in the world more and more , at a very young age. The best "protection" there is education. With or without your approval they will be having romantic interactions of some sort.

[Steven]

Well, according to my father, I'm STILL not old enough to date.

Too bad he lost the privilege of limiting my dating abilities when I started to pay my own bills, and moved out of the house..hehe

I'm SOOOOO glad I don't have kids, because I don't think I'd let mine date ever either. Too much shit in the world. BUT I agree with the crowd, depends on the kid, and depends on the parent. I would definitely arm my kid with more than my parents armed me with, I didn't get that "sex talk" till I was 24.

YOU - back to your room young lady!

[Steven]

Hm, I kinda agree with Steven and Gaf, but it is an issue that everyone has a different opinion on that needs to be considered.

On one hand I see the parents point of view.

But then again I started dating when I was 14.

Now I'm 16, and I think I realize more of what dating and such are all about.

As long as the child is careful and keeps a level head, a 15 year old and 18 year old dating is ok.

It's all a matter of individuality.

But maybe I'm just rambling...

at 15 I was doing all sorts of things just because I wanted to.

but in the end - I did a great deal of damage to both myself and other people.

and I learned to dissassociate from personal responsibility at that age too.

Kids WILL do what they want to - DEPENDING on how much personal freedom is allotted to them.

Just because i survived things in no way means I was able to handle them.

or that those decisions I made at a young age did not effect my adult thought processes.

you've got to protect kids, until they are equipped to protect themselves.

[Msterbeau]

I'm going to disagree with Mark and Steven because.... Not really.

Basically it boils down to knowing your children and being involved as much as you can to help them make good decisions. Like Steven said above, teens to some degree will do what they want whether you like it or not. Lay the foundation early for making good decisions on their own and for having good two-way communications so they feel comfortable asking you about what's on their mind when they need guidance. I can already see at this point in their lives that I'm going to handle my two daughters very differently when it comes to dating.

[Homicidalheathen]

I agree with Gaf and Steven too for the most part......

But I do think some parents get carried away.

Statements like.....but I want her to stay a virgin......

And you will never be comfortable with the idea of your kid having sex so.......

[Msterbeau]

I agree with Gaf and Steven too for the most part......

But I do think some parents get carried away.

Statements like.....but I want her to stay a virgin......

And you will never be comfortable with the idea of your kid having sex so.......

Will anyone here admit to being truly (emotionally) ready for the first time they had sex? I'm not sure there is such a thing. Hopefully you've done your job as a parent and they exercise some common sense when they do decide to take the plunge. Sex and common sense rarely go together, though....

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I was just a few months short of 18... engaged... and totally clueless as to how to go about it... but emotionally... I'm not sure...

[Msterbeau]

I was just a few months short of 18... engaged... and totally clueless as to how to go about it... but emotionally... I'm not sure...

I was 18 and with an "older woman" I was dating. She was experienced. We planned the evening out ahead of time... I'm not sure I was completely emotionally ready but I think it was as close to the fairy tale kind of way people generally hope for as any experience I've ever heard about. There were opportunities to do it earlier in life. I'm glad they didn't work out.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Oh, I hear ya. When I was 13... I was making out with my older sisters best friend... she literally begged me to fuck her. I refused. I was fine with the heavy petting.. the fact that she was naked and I was down to my underwear... but there was no way i was taking them off. I knew I wasn't ready and I knew I didn't want my first time to be with... well... her.

[JaneDead]

i agree with gaf too- depends on the child really. and depends on what "dating" for them/you really means. going to a movie? out to eat? or do you mean "dating" as in just having a boyfriend in general?

Will anyone here admit to being truly (emotionally) ready for the first time they had sex? I'm not sure there is such a thing.

yes, i was emotionally ready. he was my first love, i knew him since i was 5... if i had to go back in time and change the who/what/where/when i wouldn't.

[freydis]

Will anyone here admit to being truly (emotionally) ready for the first time they had sex? I'm not sure there is such a thing. Hopefully you've done your job as a parent and they exercise some common sense when they do decide to take the plunge. Sex and common sense rarely go together, though....

I was. For me, it was somewhat healing. I had finally found someone I was ready to be with, and I got my heart broken. A very dear friend of mine had his girlfriend decide she wanted to go back to being a lesbian in the same week. We'd talked and verbally/textually sparred for ages, so when we were both miserable at the same time, he invited me to come visit him out of state. It was impulsive, but it was a lot of fun, and damn if it didnt help me feel a lot better. We had a pretty good weekend.

[Steven]

Will anyone here admit to being truly (emotionally) ready for the first time they had sex? I'm not sure there is such a thing. Hopefully you've done your job as a parent and they exercise some common sense when they do decide to take the plunge. Sex and common sense rarely go together, though....

no way, of course I wasent.

and well into my sexual life as I grew older, I still wasent responsible enough to consider the relational after effects of casual sexual encounters.

[jadnifer]

My mom was a lot harder on me with the dating rules than she is now with my sisters but I think that that has a lot to do with the fact that Im the oldest daughter out of four.

Being her first child, she probably wanted to protect me for as long as she could.

I wasnt even allowed to wear make-up let alone date until I was 16.

My sister is younger than that and has had a "boyfriend".

I think that relationships at that age and relationships as an adult are quite different though.