I've Come To The Conclusion....

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

... that your boyfriend can only make so many fat jokes before they stop being jokes to you

:'(

time for a lifestyle change....

[Msterbeau]

... that your boyfriend can only make so many fat jokes before they stop being jokes to you

:'(

time for a lifestyle change....

And a new boyfriend.

[xbittergracex]

And a new boyfriend.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!! One fat joke is one too many from someone who is supposed to care about you.

[saechalyn]

I don't put up with that from casual acquaintances, much less a boyfriend.

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

he means it in a playful manor, but after a while it starts to get to you... like putting his ear to mu stomach and saying he's listening for the 2nd heartbeat can only be done so many times before it's not funnie anymore.... Like I know I've put on some weight, but it's really stating to bother me - and yes I have been trying to do things about it like workout and watch what I eat more... and I've lost about 6 pounds in the past week, so it's not like I'm not trying to better myself ...

[saechalyn]

"Playful" or not, it's still insensitive and cruel.

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

yea... I know.... *sigh*

[saechalyn]

So, with all due respect, what the hell? I'm not saying you have to dump his ass but jeez, stand up for yourself! As some wise person on this board says, we teach people how they can treat us.

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

true... but it's kinda of difficult having an alpha male as a B/F - it's hard to explain...

[saechalyn]

Alpha male doesn't give him free reign to be a jerk. You deserve more than that.

[SuZQZ]

And a new boyfriend.

Agree

HELL YEAH!!!!!!! One fat joke is one too many from someone who is supposed to care about you.

Agree

he means it in a playful manor, but after a while it starts to get to you... like putting his ear to mu stomach and saying he's listening for the 2nd heartbeat can only be done so many times before it's not funnie anymore.... Like I know I've put on some weight, but it's really stating to bother me - and yes I have been trying to do things about it like workout and watch what I eat more... and I've lost about 6 pounds in the past week, so it's not like I'm not trying to better myself ...

Alpha male doesn't give him free reign to be a jerk. You deserve more than that.

Playful manor? It. Is. Mean.

Would he think it was funny or cute if you started commenting on his penis and sexual performance? Regardless of how you really felt, if you said, "let me get a magnifying glass so I can find your dick", or in the middle of sex you said something like, "Are you in yet?", would he think that was cute, funny or playful? I think not. He would be hurt and pissed and eventually if it was said enough times, it would affect his self-esteem, just as his "fat" jokes are affecting yours. Not cool, not from someone you love and who is supposed to love you.

[Head Wreck]

sticks and stones may break my bones

and names definatly do hurt.

i'm sorry he's being a jerk.

i think you should talk to him, explain how you feel and if he continues

can him and move on. simple as that

[Homicidalheathen]

Maybe you could suggest working out together as a motivation? Isn't there anything your both into? Its more fun doing it together and competition sometimes gets ya to go longer....

(I hear sex is good excersize)

[Fierce Critter]

What.

An.

Utter.

Asshole.

My Jon is gaining confidence in himself these days and at 29 years old, realizing what it is to be a man who can stand up for himself - and those he loves. He's learning the difference between being confident & "take-charge" versus overbearing & demanding. In other words, he's learning to be that "alpha male" you think this jerkoff is.

There's no way in FUCK Jon would EVER say anything like that about me. NEVER.

Sorry. But your guy needs to grow up. You deserve better.

[TygerLili]

That's rude and uncalled for. If you want to lose a few pounds to make yourself feel better, more power to you. If not, that's fine, too. To hell with what anyone else thinks.

If my boyfriend started making "fat" jokes, I'd start making "break-up" jokes.

[Bernadette]

I agree with HeadWreck.

Approach it calmly and sincerely. Talk about feelings.

If he wants to make it work, he'll take it to heart and amend.

If he laughs it off or flat out ignores -- maybe it's time to re-evaluate the entire relationship.

Your mate should build you up, not tear you down.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Sorry, Goregeously Decorated.

He's not being very nice.

There are men out there, though, who don't make fat jokes and who ALWAYS think that the woman they love is a smokin babe.

[Steven]

true... but it's kinda of difficult having an alpha male as a B/F - it's hard to explain...

!!??!!??

Im totally an alpha male.

that has nothing to do with what you BF is doing. Its a simple question of values if you ask me.

Lola's weight has been up and down many times in our years togethor - and she'd never got that sort of half assed joking/kidding from me, thats just hurtful.

later add on: something to consider too, is that he's either into YOU or hes into what he thinks you OUGHT to be to make HIM feel good. One of those options is self centered......

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

he happened to come across a blog I wrote and apologized - he didn't realize how much it was upsetting me... so he'll prolly cut it out or I'll take the 'break-up' jokes advise, LOL

[Homicidalheathen]

Personally if I am on a diet and someone is not supportive, it actually makes it harder.

When I get picked on I turn to food.......but thats me.

Maybe he would stop if you told him it has the opposite effect?

[Dollardave]

When I was married my wife put on alot of weight so much that I couldn't even get it up with her anymore and I still did NOT make weight jokes or anything to that effect at all. There was nothing funny about it and it eventually cost me my marriage becuz we couldn't have sex anymore it just wouldn't work. So theres nothing funny about weight when you're in a relationship with someone. I know I crack jokes and stuff about strangers but if I'm in a relationship I don't. Its just not funny. Personally I don't think you're that big Nicole I just seen u a couple weeks ago when I picked up the NA booklet and u looked fine to me.

[Shade Everdark]

Uh, yeah, there's not much I can say that hasn't already been said.

Everyone has their own unique boundaries, but weight jokes are pretty much right out.

He is (was?) being an insensitive jerk.

[TrixieGothGirl]

That can be considered a sign of emotional & verbal abuse. You have to ask yourself, are you better with or without him? If he really cares about you, he wouldn't be making such comments to you at all. And losing 6 pounds in a week is quite an accomplishment in itself. You should be proud of that. If he can't see that then he's either blind or needs glasses.

[creatureofthenyte]

I think you deserve better. But if you did not tell him, while he was saying those things to you, that it bothers you, then you kinda can't complain about it because communication has to come from both people involved. Yes he was a jerk for saying what he said, but he isn't a mind reader either.He will only treat you how you allow him to. If he doesn't straighten out, I say dump him, there are plenty of guys in this world that would treat you better.

[Smothered Hope]

I'm new here but thought I would add my thoughts. I have had severe self esteem

problems due to my childhood, and when I was in my 20's had a relationship that

led to marriage. I was not happy in the relationship nor with my self, so I became

severely passive/aggressive. I would call her fat, make mean jokes, and treat

her like she was stupid.

I, to this day feel awful for how I treated her. She was stronger and we parted ways.

So, what I'm saying is that this has nothing to do with Alpha tendencies. It has

everything to do with control, if you make someone feel that they are worthless

then maybe they will not look for someone else.

Maybe, it's an attraction thing. But, if there are other signs that he's trying to control

you, then you need to do what is heathiest for YOU.

Oh, and by the way I think your very attractive, so don't let it bother you.