Proof That God Exists

[sass_in_the_pants]

And I'm quite over it, thankyouverymuch.

EVERY TIME Guy asks for something, he gets it. He gets it faster if it somehow screws me over.

It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.

He says things like 'Can we get White Castle?'

'No'

'Fine, I'll just pray for it'

He opens his arms wide, and he says 'Dear Lord, I would like White Castles tonight' and then looks at me smugly.

He had put in the order. The wheels were already in motion. There was nothing I could do about it. And sure enough, all of the little lights on the dash go off and the car stops. Dead stops. In front of White Castle. And so Guy gets out of the van, and gets his White Castle. I'm protesting by staying in the car and calling AAA. Guy gets back into the car with those nasty putrid sliders and says 'Maybe the car will work fine now'.

I turn the key.

It works.

God broke my car so that Guy could get sliders. I'm convinced.

When Guy doesn't want to rake leaves, there are freak snowstorms. Guy wanted twins, and even though the doctor only heard ONE heartbeat, I had TWO babies. I say things like 'You can ONLY buy that ridiculous thing you want if it's available in pink and is 70% off' And sure enough, it's 70% off, and they only have pink available. He wants to watch South Park, I want to watch Monk and even though the TV guide says Monk is on, it's tennis or some dumb shit, and so we have to watch South Park.

This happens ALL the time.

I remind God ALL the time that those donations to the homeless and the church and shit, that's from ME. I make those donations. Guy would rather spend his money on shiny rocks, and scratch and sniff stickers. But does God care that I am more generous with those less fortunate? Um, not really.

So I ask Guy, 'Why do YOU get everything you want when you ask for it and I don't?'

And he says 'because you pray for dumb shit, like world peace. You've got to pray for REAL problems, like not getting White Castle,'

This is VERY, VERY frustrating.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

So the argument here is sort of god exists, and seems to answer others ("guy" in this instance) prayers, but not your own?

[Steven]

Guy sounds like quite the guy.

You know SAass, faith plays a large part in it. Guy truly BELEIVES in those sliders, and so do I.

[sass_in_the_pants]

So the argument here is sort of god exists, and seems to answer others ("guy" in this instance) prayers, but not your own?

No, not 'others', just Guy. I'm sure other people pray for sliders and don't get them. Guy gets them. The argument here is that I am WAY more worthy to get stuff than Guy, but it's ALWAYS Guy who gets the stuff. And I'm like 'I want a fat free ice cream that tastes good. Pray for that.' and Guy says 'No, that's stupid. God will know that's stupid, and he'll say just eat regular ice cream and quit screwing with my magic'

So, my argument is that God likes Guy more than me and he is SUPPOSED to like everybody equally and I'm a little annoyed. Guy got out of dancing, did I tell you all that? We went out, there was a band, I wanted to dance, and Guy just looked up to the ceiling with this pleading look and suddenly one of the band's speakers blew and so they stopped playing and Guy looked up the ceiling again and said 'Thanks, man, I don't know how I was going to get out of that one' Humph! What about ME?!?! I wanted to dance! And I'm WAY nicer than Guy is. It's not fair! He's not supposed to be able to do this!

Guy sounds like quite the guy.

You know SAass, faith plays a large part in it. Guy truly BELEIVES in those sliders, and so do I.

That's the troof, right there.

[ManicQueen]

OMG - I feel your pain but damn that was kinda funny.

[Steven]

No, not 'others', just Guy. I'm sure other people pray for sliders and don't get them. Guy gets them. The argument here is that I am WAY more worthy to get stuff than Guy, but it's ALWAYS Guy who gets the stuff. And I'm like 'I want a fat free ice cream that tastes good. Pray for that.' and Guy says 'No, that's stupid. God will know that's stupid, and he'll say just eat regular ice cream and quit screwing with my magic'

So, my argument is that God likes Guy more than me and he is SUPPOSED to like everybody equally and I'm a little annoyed. Guy got out of dancing, did I tell you all that? We went out, there was a band, I wanted to dance, and Guy just looked up to the ceiling with this pleading look and suddenly one of the band's speakers blew and so they stopped playing and Guy looked up the ceiling again and said 'Thanks, man, I don't know how I was going to get out of that one' Humph! What about ME?!?! I wanted to dance! And I'm WAY nicer than Guy is. It's not fair! He's not supposed to be able to do this!

That's the troof, right there.

maybe God doesent REALLY like everybody equally, I mean think about it...I loves me all kinds of peeps but I dont lvoe them all equally, I got some favorites. Wouldent suprise me if God has some fav's too.

God prolly also loves White Castle as well.

[hunhee]

Well sass, God does have a sick sense of humour, look at the duck billed platypus. I mean think about it. That's God's best punchline.

You've gotta admit, sliders are the bomb (literally)!!!!

[Shade Everdark]

Guy sounds like quite the guy.

You know SAass, faith plays a large part in it. Guy truly BELEIVES in those sliders, and so do I.

Not that I've ever done much in the way of White Castle myself, but by the looks of them when they're fresh, I would venture to say that it's sort of difficult NOT to believe in those sliders when they're working they're greasy, nasty way through your lower digestive system....

Maybe those sliders are a punishment from God, for praying for frivolous shit? Who knows.

[Fierce Critter]

Girlfriend, you gotta quit whatever it is you're doing and WRITE for a fucking living.

Then you'll be rich and can BUY a fucking WHITE CASTLE RESTAURANT - and deny Guy access to it.

Srsly. I want to read a book by you.

Get to work. Go on now - get.

I SAID GET!!!

[Steven]

Not that I've ever done much in the way of White Castle myself, but by the looks of them when they're fresh, I would venture to say that it's sort of difficult NOT to believe in those sliders when they're working they're greasy, nasty way through your lower digestive system....

Maybe those sliders are a punishment from God, for praying for frivolous shit? Who knows.

ambrosia is more like it.

[Msterbeau]

God is just toying with him. One day when Guy REALLY needs something, all support will end. And he will have spent all his "dear Gods" on frivolous nonsense and you will inherit God's ear...