Can Tigers Really Change Their Stripes?

[Sybil]

Is it possible for a person to really change? Do we have that ability? I have toyed with the idea of letting a past acquaintance into my life and have definite reservations about it. We came back together in an odd way, it is just a friendship, not anything deeper. I am not too trusting by nature but what is your opinion about an individuals ability to truly change who they are?

You say you have "definite reservations".

"definite reservations" would keep me away.

If you have already formed a friendship again, and you see repeats of old ways in your friend.... then open discussion is a MUST. Right? Friends talk.

There is always a gentle but firm way to discuss things.

Afterall.. you made a change by allowing the friendship to start up again right?

Are you still the same as you were 10 years ago?

I do believe a person can change. Habits can be let go. Apologies can be made and accepted. (actions speak louder than words, of course. but "i am sorry." is a great first step, yea?)

[xbittergracex]

I think there are two kinds of change:

1. The slow shift that happens over many years and is usually not the result of conscious thought or effort. Yet, if you look at the beginning and end, you see a significant difference.

2. A deliberate and concerted effort to change image, behaviors, thoughts etc. This can be for a variety of reasons. Some people want to get laid more often. Some people want to have more success at some other endeavor. Some people want to better themselves or get more healthy. But these take the kind of change that overcomes the inertia of life that keeps us on one path.

I just wanted to agree and add one more kind of change.....

3. A complete change due to extreme circumstances and/or life-changing events.

I changed a LOT over the last couple years because some really crazy things happened and I couldn't remain the person I was.

[~Tszura~]

I'm all about giving people second chances, but with EXTREME caution. I think change does happen over time, but the core of who we are never changes.

You know in your gut and in your heart if what you didn't like about this person is a part of their core, or was just some ugly out layer that was an extension of something else going on inside that is now no more.

Whatever you do, just be careful

[Fierce Critter]

If someone doesn't change but you wish them to be in your life somehow, you can always change how you deal with them.

[Daevion]

Bla Bla Bla !!! I tried to read this thread but.....I just want to pet the tiger!!

[Marmee_Noir]

Yeah ditto for me and reading the whole thread.. I did read the original post and well... Yes, yes I do believe people can change.. I believe it has to be in their own terms and their own realization for them to change.. I do not believe in trying to change others though... Nothing wrong with helping some one to evolve or better themselves. But hell why would you want to be with some one if you felt HAD to change them!

Yeah and back to the original topic before I start ranting.... I think giving a second chance is really on an individual basis.. Depending what ended the relationship or friendship, some thing can be worked out or through and some thing I simply just do not tolerate..