How Do These Ppl Survive

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

How do these people survive?

> One.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw

> on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or

> 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen

> nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said

> the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied.

> "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

> "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can

> order six?" "That's right.

" So I shook my head and

> ordered six McNuggets.

> Two.

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart

> with just a few items and the lady behind me put her

> things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of

> those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register

> and placed it between our things so they wouldn't

> get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my

> items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all

> over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not

> finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know

> how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my

> mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.

" She said

> "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.

She

> had no clue to what had just happened.

> Three.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit

> card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very

> quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing,

> she said she was shopping on the Internet and they

> kept asking for a credit card number, so she was

> using the ATM "thingy.

"

Four.

I recently saw a distraught young lady

> weeping beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I

> asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced

> the battery to this remote door unlocker.

Now I

> can't get into my car.

Do you think they (pointing

> to a distant convenience store) would have a battery

> to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno.

Do you have an alarm,

> too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she

> answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I

> took the key and manually unlocked the door, I

> replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check

> about the batteries. It's a long walk.

"

> Five.

Several years ago, we had an Intern who

> was none too swift.

One day she was typing and

> turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of

> typing paper.

What do I do?" "Just use copier

> machine paper," the secretary told her.

With that,

> the intern took her last remaining blank piece of

> paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to

> make five "blank" copies.

> Six.

I was in a car dealership a while ago,

> when a large motor home was towed into the garage.

> The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair

> and the whole thing generally looked like an extra

> in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened.

> He told me that the driver had set the "cruise

> control" and then went in the back to make a

> sandwich.

> Seven.

My neighbor works in the operations

> department in the central office of a large bank.

> Employees in the field call him when they have

> problems with their computers.

One night he got a

> call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had

> this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back

> of my terminal.

Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

> Eight. Police in Radnor, Pa.

interrogated a

> suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and

> connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

The

> message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and

> police pressed the copy button each time they

> thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

> Believing the "lie detector" was working, the

> suspect confessed.

> Nine.

A mother calls 911 very worried asking

> the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the

> emergency room, the kid was eating ants.

The

> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl

> and it should be fine.

The mother says, I just gave

> him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to

> emergency room!

> Life is tough.

> It's tougher if you're stupid.

> "Smile, it will increase your face value"

[Angel of Death]

Gawd...stupid ppl these days...

[Rev.Reverence]

WoAh!

[Destroit]

Ha, that's funny. Someone here at work gave me a copy of that same list and I was going to post it here but forgot about it.

I hope none of that is actually true, I was so upset I went out after reading it and ate a cheerleader...whole. One bite, that's how skinny she was too.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

OK

The one about the motor home... i think we have a thread about that.. the guy sued the motor home company... and won. "Cruise Control" He thought it was like an auto pilot.

the one with the colander (I thought I was the only person that still used that word) was on a late night show that used to play on Fox called America's Dumbest Criminals or something like that.

[spacin]

Hopefully they won't breed.

That's proly asking too much of them though.

Props to the cops in #8 though.

I thought that was pretty clever of them.

[n0Mad]

Working retail I see people like that every day. I just want to smack them.

[Hellion]

Here is something true,alot of ppl cannot find the United States on a globe!how stupid can some ppl be,and they are breeding very fast,I guess too much technology can have adverse effects these days.

[n0Mad]

Here is something true,alot of ppl cannot find the United States on a globe!how stupid can some ppl be,and they are breeding very fast,I guess too much technology can have adverse effects these days.

A globe? Wait, you mean the Earth is round?

[Angel of Death]

A globe? Wait, you mean the Earth is round?

:rofl:

[TrixieGothGirl]

I loved the Wal Mart one. LMAO