Dumbest Advice You Ever Got

[sass_in_the_pants]

'Catch up on all the sleep you can now because you won't get any once the babies get here'

What? Like sleep is something you can stock up on. 'No, I only got two hours of sleep last night, but on June 14th, I got like ten hours of sleep, so I should be good' Whatever.

'Babies don't come with instruction manuals'

Actually, they do. They hand them out at the hospital. And if you don't like those there are rows and rows and rows of instruction manuals on babies at the bookstore. It just so happens that all of the instructions WITHIN those manuals are total crap, but still, they exist.

'You should do what you love for a living'

I love reading Us magazine and Russian literature. So until there's a desperate need for someone who knows all about J-Lo and Tolstoy, I am, and will remain, an accountant. Not because I love it. But because someone will actually pay me to do it.

Okay, what's yours?

[TrixieGothGirl]

Join the Navy and see the world. HA!!!!! What a fuckin' joke. Navy, not just a job, it's an advanture. HA!!!!!!! What another fuckin' joke. I did join the Navy but got sent back 60 miles from where I went to high school. That crappy advice came from my late mother.

[Draco1958]

She's a catch. Marry her, trust me she's a keeper. 11 years of hell. They forgot that part.

[thewhiterecluse]

It's not cheating if she doesn't have sex with someone else. Yeah, one of my ex's friends tried to convince me that my ex didn't cheat because "She didn't have sex with another man" and "Its not cheating if there isn't any penetration" ha, whatever, nobody defines to me what cheating is and isn't. Which I found out later she did, but through someone else. I was pretty good at getting to the bottom of things. Thank goodness she's not into the goth scene so I don't have to worry about unexpected occurences and drama.

[Homicidalheathen]

Have at least 4 kids in case one of them dies or something.

My dad actually said that........he lost a cousin once. I think it was more he wanted grandbabies.

[Ice Queen (1)]

My ex-step mom gave me thiis advice regarding guys when I was 14 years old (this is when I came to live with them):

feed 'em

fight 'em

fuck 'em

forget 'em and

fuck 'em again

She also wanted to put me on birth control at that age. This is BEFORE I lost my virginity.

Of course, she also gave me my first line of coke......( How am I not a drug addicted porn star?)

Let's just say, I did not pass these words of "wisdom" on to my daughter

[Hellion]

Some moron said I should vote for Bush 4 years ago,yeah right.some ppl really are brainwashed.too much Fox News

[Fin]

Some moron said I should vote for Bush 4 years ago

Oh man, I hope you didn't.

Vote GREEN, please.

[Hellion]

Oh man, I hope you didn't.

Vote GREEN, please.

I knew better,LOL!!

[Kit Kat P]

Love is enough.

[Morbid Side]

"Do you need any vitamins? You know, uh, you look like you need some."

"Forget about her."

"No more long hair days!"

"You should cut your hair like your father, that will really show him up!"

"Can I have your indentity? All you have to do is let me run a copy of your id. I'm moving to Seattle where they will never find me. When I start my new job and get settled in, I will mail you my W2's. But, in the meantime I really need your ID."

"Hey, if you sign up now, you can have a body like this. Trust me, give me two months; the girls will be calling you beefcakes and all the girls will be gauking at your summer abs."

[TygerLili]

"Do you need any vitamins? You know, uh, you look like you need some."

"Forget about her."

"No more long hair days!"

"You should cut your hair like your father, that will really show him up!"

"Can I have your indentity? All you have to do is let me run a copy of your id. I'm moving to Seattle where they will never find me. When I start my new job and get settled in, I will mail you my W2's. But, in the meantime I really need your ID."

"Hey, if you sign up now, you can have a body like this. Trust me, give me two months; the girls will be calling you beefcakes and all the girls will be gauking at your summer abs."

You forgot "Since I got my license taken away, let's just have my car put in your name."

As for me, at my old job I was showing a co-worker some pictures of me all dolled up in club wear and make-up. She said "Forget going into medicine, you should try to get into modeling." I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was a misguided compliment, rather than her way of saying I'm pretty but dumb.

That and I love the way that the people who most often give unsolicited relationship advice are the ones whose love lives are a complete train-wreck.

[celestial]

keep trying, theres someone out there for everyone.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

"Do what feels right."

Only took me like 30 years to figure out that what "feels" right was a piss poor way to do what was the right thing probably 90% of the time and leads to a lot of horrible decisions and idiotic ideas about life.

Ok maybe that's not the most idiotic advice i ever got, but its one of the bad ones i think we all have had at one point or another. I'm guessing at least a few readers probably, like i used to, think its actually GOOD advice.

I was also told not to shave my pussy... Hrmm. Not sure how good of advice that was either. *ponders*

[sass_in_the_pants]

"Do what feels right."

Oh yes! How could I forget about this one! Classic bad advice.

[jarmana]

Here, Hold my beer and watch this.

[JaneDead]

"it's just cold feet. people get cold feet before they get married. you will be fine."