long distance relationship

[the_dark1]

im not sure if i should post this here or not but what the hell is being in a long distance worth all the trouble

[Nerdcore]

I was in a long distance ( well actuly over seas ) relationship. we meet a few times. It ended up just being the best friendship Ive ever had. I concider him like my brother now.

and why all the trouble. Becuase if you love someone ( no mater where they are in the world) you will go after it. it may take a while .. but in the end I think its worth it..

are u in a long distance relationship??

cheers

[the_dark1]

not at all its just been one of the many things i would like to cause there is times when i thought about it

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

I am currently in one. I am engaged... And we are both counting down the days...

I was in one before this, and he just couldn't wait the 4 more months....idiot...

To me, they are worth it. I wouldn't be in one if it wasn't. it just takes a little more work... and all relationships take work... its just your mindset.... when a relationship turns into a chore is when you gotta try something different... most ppl will probably disagree w/ me on this, tho.. but IMO, yes, they are worth it i love Vamphyre w/ all my being..... and I can't wait to see him again.. being together is well worth the wait

[Msterbeau]

A huge pain... If you can wait. Cool... but some of us really need the human contact more often then every once in a while.

[Rev.Reverence]

I don't think so...unless you were with a person for a LONG time...then, there is like a spacial separation due to work...or a prolonged illness in a family member...

I am a tactile person..it would not work for me...

[hunhee]

Well, it really depends on the two people involved. I've had friends who started out LD, and they moved to the town, and it worked out. I've had friends who have gone cross country to be with the other person, and they didn't work out... but basically it's like all relationships they end or they keep going. *shrugs*

I personally wouldn't want a long distance relationship. I like being near the person I'm with, and being able to do things with them without it being a huge production.

It's odd that I say this, but I consider more than 45 mins to an hour drive, long distance. I guess since I'm a busy person, convenience is also a factor.

[know_buddy_kares]

Sadly, anytime i seem to get into any sort of serious relationship... it's fate that drives it to be long distance. The one I'm in now... yeah I'm here in germany, she's back in michigan... my last one.. i was in north carolina, she lived in england... and the one before that... well alot of it being long distance has to do with the military lifestyle i live i suppose. But with the right person it is worth it.

Now if you're having a hard time with this here's a few solutions that i very strongly urge you two to do.

1)Keep in touch with eachother's friends and family, the more people you have in common, the better it gets.

2)Know how to have a sense of humor. Find the silver lining to anything

3)If you are both the monogomous type.. time to get acquainted with phone sex and erotic chats.

three basic elements I've found to manage them easily. Now if it's visiting time that's the problem... it's up to you to work out what you're both comfortable..

taking turns, meeting at a mid point, ect. and how often you should meet at a steady pace. That's the trick right there, where can be a case by case basis, but try to keep a steady time of WHEN you two can visit.

And when you both do hook up together... the magic, passion, flames, and romance is amplified greatly. So it can be a good thing, but be careful with the extra emotional volume, if you let it get out of control, it can be a dangerous and unpredictable element in your relationship.

[Oh_My_Goth]

I know I may get attacked for saying this, but I will say it anyway.....

I believe long distance relationships are crap.....

Perhaps if you were Married, and had to work far away or something, then maybe it may work.....

I think some people like them because they are all talk & no action, and it's easy to love some one you don't have to share living quarters with.....

I can't do it, I require physical contact.....

[Miranda]

I wouldn't recommend it unless you are ready for some long nights and lonely days.

[hunhee]

I know I may get attacked for saying this, but I will say it anyway.....

I believe long distance relationships are crap.....

Perhaps if you were Married, and had to work far away or something, then maybe it may work.....

I think some people like them because they are all talk & no action, and it's easy to love some one you don't have to share living quarters with.....

I can't do it, I require physical contact.....

Sometimes you're in the mood for a particular type of person. Sometimes that person isn't within your zipcode. It's really hard to make a connection with people that live nearby (sometimes). I'm not making an excuse for people, but I think it's a lot easier to say what it is you like, and what it is you're looking for behind a computer more so than talking face to face. I'm not saying a face to face meeting isn't inevitable eventually.

I wouldn't have ever thought this would be the case, but I once had a long distance relationship, and I once traveled out of country to meet said person (twice), was one of the best experiences of my life, and it said a lot about who I am, and what I wanted. We're no longer "together" but we are very close, and we do talk from time to time. He will always be a very special part of my life, and I know the same applies to him. It's just distance unless one of you is willing to move and change everything that it is who you are for another person (in this case, another country) it's most likely not going to work. Also, if you move completely out of your element, will you be the same person that they fell in love with? That remains to be seen. I just know that he and I (although different countries) had a lot of the same values, viewpoints, and ways of thinking.

I found it odd, but I could say things, and have deeper conversations with people whom I was pretty much a stranger to, than my best friends of 15 years. When all you have is conversation, you get to know people better.

[Hellion]

A huge pain... If you can wait. Cool... but some of us really need the human contact more often then every once in a while.

Totally agree.

[Msterbeau]

I know I may get attacked for saying this, but I will say it anyway.....

I believe long distance relationships are crap.....

Perhaps if you were Married, and had to work far away or something, then maybe it may work.....

I think some people like them because they are all talk & no action, and it's easy to love some one you don't have to share living quarters with.....

I can't do it, I require physical contact.....

Pretty much my feelings. Which makes it suck when you find people who you really get along with and are attracted to... and they're on the other side of the country /world. :cries:

[the_dark1]

i see

[Hellion]

Pretty much my feelings. Which makes it suck when you find people who you really get along with and are attracted to... and they're on the other side of the country /world. :cries:

100% true,distance is always the problem.

[bean]

It's really tough. The e and I live over an hour away from each other, and we've been dealing with that for about 2.5 years. Soon that will change when we get married (62 days)

[Msterbeau]

It's really tough. The e and I live over an hour away from each other, and we've been dealing with that for about 2.5 years. Soon that will change when we get married (62 days)

Not to diminish your commute, especially with gas prices as they are... but you guys aren't THAT far apart. I think of long distance as one that is at least a couple hundred miles... something that makes it difficult to see one another at all (If you don't have the bucks to fly or drive often).

So... How soon until he's closer.. ? :-)

[Rev.Reverence]

It's really tough. The e and I live over an hour away from each other, and we've been dealing with that for about 2.5 years. Soon that will change when we get married (62 days)

SEE...it CAN work...but it is hard work.

[creatureofthenyte]

SEE...it CAN work...but it is hard work.

Rev, she's an hour away, 1 hour. If Bean were say, 100 or even 1000 miles away from The E, Then that would qualify as long distance, at least, in the context of this thread topic.

Anyway, something else in a LDR that has to factor in is: trust.

Distance can be a very bad thing.

What if the person who is your would be SO, lives a 1000 miles away?

Waiting to see each other, in that scenario sucks.

And, what if you meet someone else in the meantime, who lives a helluva lot closer ?

That closeness alone, will make that other person more appealing.

In LDR's the temptation to meet someone closer, to have as a side dish, is a possiblilty.

LDR's, like OmG said, are crap, not worth it. The distance is a big gigundo amount of stress that sucks and is not worth it.

[bean]

for fucks sake 80 miles is long distance to me, ok?

nevermind.

carry on.

[Rev.Reverence]

Rev, she's an hour away, 1 hour. If Bean were say, 100 or even 1000 miles away from The E, Then that would qualify as long distance, at least, in the context of this thread topic.

Anyway, something else in a LDR that has to factor in is: trust.

Distance can be a very bad thing.

What if the person who is your would be SO, lives a 1000 miles away?

Waiting to see each other, in that scenario sucks.

And, what if you meet someone else in the meantime, who lives a helluva lot closer ?

That closeness alone, will make that other person more appealing.

In LDR's the temptation to meet someone closer, to have as a side dish, is a possiblilty.

LDR's, like OmG said, are crap, not worth it. The distance is a big gigundo amount of stress that sucks and is not worth it.

Yeah..that's like close to a hundred miles bro...but I see what you say...

...look at it my way for a second...I CAN NOT drive...I'm not down with LDR...but it DOES WORK SOMETIMES.

..so I had to give straight props to those two for having such enduring trust and compatibility.

[bean]

Yeah..that's like close to a hundred miles bro...but I see what you say...

...look at it my way for a second...I CAN NOT drive...I'm not down with LDR...but it DOES WORK SOMETIMES.

..so I had to give straight props to those two for having such enduring trust and compatibility.

Thank you

It's not like either one of us can just hop in our car whenever we feel like and go see each other. For a long time we only saw each other once a month, if we were lucky. Now we see each other about once a week, so it's not as bad, but ti's still really tough for us.

[Msterbeau]

Thank you

It's not like either one of us can just hop in our car whenever we feel like and go see each other. For a long time we only saw each other once a month, if we were lucky. Now we see each other about once a week, so it's not as bad, but ti's still really tough for us.

Fair enough. Trust me, I have a huge clue what it's like. I commuted 400miles from Kentucky to see Carla and my girls.... every two weeks.

Perhaps we need to define "long disance"? I'm sure it's a little different for everyone.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Okay, Jason and I are 800+ miles apart. We are waiting for October to come. I am going to FL w/ my room mates, to help Piggy Heights, and then after that, I am moving back to SC. And then In December, me and him are getting married (we are having a hand fastening and then on our one year anniversary, we are having a big ceremony.) It does suck that we are so far away, and every time he says "*huge*" my heart cries, because i miss the real hugs. But October isn't that far away. We have known each other since 2006, and we have been together since April 18th of this year. I think that its well worth the wait. We have been through a lot, and both feel that we are each other's soul mates. (sappy, i know) we talk by phone, and IM.. it is hard. its been hard, the past few days, because i want to snuggle to him.. i have been sick, really badly for the last few days... and that makes me miss him all the more. and he's thrown his back out... we both feel kind of helpless, because we can't take care of each other.. it sucks... BUT he makes me happy, and we look forward to the day where we are in each other's arms. and it will be for good. Not a visit... we will be living together.

For me, its worth it. And i can't wait until October.

Good luck to those that are in long distance relationships, no matter how distant they are...

and bean? congratulations. i'm happy to see yet another LDR work out.

[bean]

Congrats to you too GRG!