When you got to a club with friends

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

what are your thoughts?

Several of my friends (both here and in SC) think that its rude to socialize with others, when you got to a club together. I don't know. I thought the whole point was to talk to ppl you know, and dance, and have a good time...

what do you guys think?

what are your experiences?

[tanuki1985]

I'm OK if my friends go there and talk to other people since that's kind of the point in going to the club.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

hehe

i can see being mad if like... it was your ride, and they just ditched you, to get laid, or something...

but to get upset because they ran off and greeted their other friends... that irritates me... that's the whole point of a club...

some ppl don't talk, until you talk to them first, so you have to make yourself available.

shit that's how i got to know some of the DGNers here. I spoke up. I was shy as hell, didn't know anyone, other than through talking on the board, but now! I am so happy to see you guys, when I am there.

[know_buddy_kares]

I can say this, anyone who doesn't go to a club to socialize needs to rearange their priorities. I mean, don't totally ignore your friend, welcome them to the group that you're socializing with. If they don't want to get involved, well that's they're problem. There's no reason a FRIEND should get upset if you talk with other friends... now if it was a romantic partner, and you were getting too flirty with others... THEN I could see a problem... but it sounds like your friend is just being a bit uptight.

[Miranda]

Rude? Being friendly to another human being, how that can be misconstrued as a rude action, I have no idea. That's a pretty extreme reaction to just talking to a new person. I'm not sure why some people have to be so clingy toward other human beings, it shows major insecurity issues. It reeks of jr. high-shool and it something most people would be over with by the ages you are.

If you spoke to other people who are not necessarily in your "clique" maybe they feel you are bringing in an outsider and that bothers them for whatever reason. Sounds like their hang-up though, not yours.

I've always felt, the more the merrier when it comes to socializing. Though If you go to a club with friends and they would all end up going to talk to people and you were left sitting by yourself I think that defeats the point of them asking you to go with them.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

yeah, i understand that, too (the last part), but what if... you introduced them to others around you, and then went to go dance, then came back and they were no where to be found... and then you find them, and they are still mad at you for ditching them, but they are like "poof" ninja, talking to someone else?

what about then?

[Miranda]

Maybe you all need to get together and get to the bottom of what is going on in this situation concerning people at the bar who aren't in your group and talk about how it makes each of you feel. You need to communicate with your friends if you want to keep them. Most of all you need to stand up for what you honestly think and feel, people change in life, we are not going to be the same forever. You sometimes have to be prepared for that. As for the scenario you mentioned ; I don't know why they'd be mad, they essentially did the same thing. If you asked them about it though they'd probably say; you did it first and they were just following your lead. I assume these are all females we are talking about?

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

oh i was just mapping out what if's... not aiming at anyone specific.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

so, what have you guys experienced, as far as this?

[hunhee]

Depends on the situation..

At CC.. good luck keeping tabs on me. I'm usually all over the place.

At any other place, I'm pretty much usually glued to the person/people I go with. If I don't know anyone, I am not usually as social (unless I'm really drunk).. etc. I really do have some form of social anxiety thing going on, takes me a while to get to talking to people.

And I can usually entertain myself, if my friend leaves me to be social, I just sit there and watch people..

[jynxxxedangel]

It's ok to take off and socialize, as long as the person you came with is informed of the possibility of this happening.

[Msterbeau]

I do as I please but stay in contact through the evening and make sure they're not having a bad time. Depends on the people too. If it's a "friend" of the opposite sex, I'm more likely to hang with and "entertain" then a bunch of guys. Then again, I rarely drive down with anyone else, so the point is mostly moot.

[creatureofthenyte]

I don't see a problem with it. My thoughts on this are quite similar to what's already been said. I'll just add that if my friend that I went to the club with is female, I would tend to want to hang out with her, and or keep her within my line of sight, so I know she's safe. I think if you went off and mingle with other friends at the club, you should at least invite your club going friend that you brought with you, to go along with you, and if they decline the offer, then they can just sit there like a bump on a log. In that case, they don't have any right to complain because at least you offered to include them in your socializing.

[freydis]

If they dont know anyone there, they should come with you and get introduced. If i went to an unfamiliar club with someone, and they ran off with friends and didnt *include* me, i'd be PISSED. But if they dont even want to make the effort to get to know anyone there and hang with everyone, why did they come to the club in the first place?

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

thank you for your input, guys.

keep 'em coming

[Nienna]

It depends. If I'm at a club with someone who also goes to said club often, so they know other people, then I'll float about and check in once in awhile just to make sure they are ok, don't need to leave or something.

If they know no one but me, I introduce them to everyone who is cool, and if they hit if off and are having fun independent of me, I may float but in a limited capacity, checking in more often.

BUT if they are uncomfortable, or shy in any way, then yeah, I'm glued. They're coming out of their element to go out with me, so of course I would honor that by hanging out with them pretty exclusively.

[TygerLili]

If I go to a club where I don't know anyone, I usually stay pretty close to the person who brought me, unless I meet someone new who is cool to talk to. Even then, I usually keep the friend I came with at least in my line of sight. Only recently did I have the experience of bringing a friend to a club where I actually knew more people than she did. It was a little strange to me how closely she stuck to me all night, but I realized I used to do the same thing when I first started going out with friends.

If it's City Club, and I'm riding with another DGNer, I usually don't mind if they disappear for a while, as long as they don't leave me stranded at the club, or totally ignore me if I'm sick or upset and should really leave. I'm pretty picky about who I'll ride with these days, though, and usually don't have a problem driving myself if I think an "iffy" situation might arise.

The worst is when you go with a member of the opposite sex and one person thinks it's just as friends and the other thinks it's a date. Ugh!

*edited for grammar*

[Head Wreck]

I'll talk to anyone. give me enough liquor before the club i'll flirt with anyone too. (to varying degrees of success).

we decide a spot at kicking out time, anyone not thereafter 15 minutes is assumed MIA or hooked up

[torn asunder]

It depends. If I'm at a club with someone who also goes to said club often, so they know other people, then I'll float about and check in once in awhile just to make sure they are ok, don't need to leave or something.

If they know no one but me, I introduce them to everyone who is cool, and if they hit if off and are having fun independent of me, I may float but in a limited capacity, checking in more often.

BUT if they are uncomfortable, or shy in any way, then yeah, I'm glued. They're coming out of their element to go out with me, so of course I would honor that by hanging out with them pretty exclusively.

[Shade Everdark]

It depends. If I'm at a club with someone who also goes to said club often, so they know other people, then I'll float about and check in once in awhile just to make sure they are ok, don't need to leave or something.

If they know no one but me, I introduce them to everyone who is cool, and if they hit if off and are having fun independent of me, I may float but in a limited capacity, checking in more often.

BUT if they are uncomfortable, or shy in any way, then yeah, I'm glued. They're coming out of their element to go out with me, so of course I would honor that by hanging out with them pretty exclusively.

Pretty much this.

[sass_in_the_pants]

What Neinna said.

Some people are naturally outgoing.

Some aren't.

You've just got to remember who's who and act accordingly.

They're your friends, after all. You want them to have a good time, too.

[Homicidalheathen]

Nope. I hate that. Usually I wander and mingle and can't stand possessive types who think we have to be glued at the hip...its not a date...ya know?

[Rev.Reverence]

I'll talk to anyone. give me enough liquor before the club i'll flirt with anyone too. (to varying degrees of success).

we decide a spot at kicking out time, anyone not thereafter 15 minutes is assumed MIA or hooked up

This is the answer for ALL my days.....of course if I hooked up I'ld tell my freinds.....if I remembered who brought me out that night...and could find them.....if I had the time.....some...times.....you've just GOT to leave NOW!

[mrs~chi~vious]

This is the answer for ALL my days.....of course if I hooked up I'ld tell my freinds.....if I remembered who brought me out that night...and could find them.....if I had the time.....some...times.....you've just GOT to leave NOW!

I agree with a lot of what is said in the previous posts above. You really have to base your actions on how your friend is.

If they have never been to the place that you are at, or are painfully shy, introduce them around, and try and make them comfortable. Go off and mingle for a little while if you have to, but try to keep an eye on them.

BUT I do not think that you should have them glued to your side all night either. You want them to get out their and socalize, that is why they came to the club with you right? Don't ignore everyone else for the sake of your one friend!

IF you go with a member of the opposite sex MAKE SURE you lay down the rules first. "This is not a date." "I am going to be talking/flirting/dancing/whatever-ing with people that I am attracted to." If they can't deal with said rules, than prolly not a good idea to take them!

IMHO that is my two cents, for what is is worth to you!