the pursuit of someone who's already taken

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

he's gonna do it to you because he's too much of a fucking coward to say he lost his flame for you and go single, and string you along until he just leaves you for someone else. Correct me if I'm wrong, but getting dumped isn't as sucky as it is getting dumped for someone else right? I know it fucked with my head when it happened.

preaching to the choir, my dear... i was dumped FOR someone else....

so yeah.... it sucks, and for a slpit second, i questioned my self worth... then it hit me, what he did to me, he will do to her. Men don't change that drastically, that fast. don't care what anyone says.... I keep saying it, Karma will win this.

this experience has made me more aware of folks. I will be careful who i "fall for" and will focus on developing my friendships w/ those that aren't available to date, and just being friends w/ those that are. I am not ready for anything more than that. Unless... nevermind, different thread... I have jacked this one enough lol

[aequorea]

The best thing for this type of this is the "random drunken kiss". Get drunk with the friend, randomly kiss them and see what they do. If they're weirded, then OMG you're sooooo drunk! Sorry! If they aren't, there you go. LOL

nienna, i love it! why oh why haven't i thought of that?

[know_buddy_kares]

preaching to the choir, my dear... i was dumped FOR someone else....

so yeah.... it sucks, and for a slpit second, i questioned my self worth... then it hit me, what he did to me, he will do to her. Men don't change that drastically, that fast. don't care what anyone says.... I keep saying it, Karma will win this.

this experience has made me more aware of folks. I will be careful who i "fall for" and will focus on developing my friendships w/ those that aren't available to date, and just being friends w/ those that are. I am not ready for anything more than that. Unless... nevermind, different thread... I have jacked this one enough lol

I actually hope he doesn't break up with her right away.. I hope he falls inlove and gets married, only to cheat on her and have her find out, then she can divorce him and take all his shit in the process leaving him royally fucked..

that would be the LULZ and an astronomically epic win!

[Rev.Reverence]

Men don't change that drastically, that fast.

..this sentence is very true of the entire race...

[JaneDead]

..this sentence is very true of the entire race...

yep

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

oh i know, i was just making a point...

@KBK:

thank you.

[creatureofthenyte]

Ok,

if you want to get into a relationship with someone,

WHY create or get involved with huge amounts of preventable DRAMA????

Relationships can be challenging enough as it is, WHY add complication or potential stress and grief to it ?

Dumb dumb dumb.

If you are the "other" man/woman, what makes you think that the other person won't do to You, what they are doing to their s.o./spouse ?

Once a cheater, Always a cheater.

I've never done it, and never will.

Threads like these make me want to stay single forever.

[asphyxian_doll]

Then they should end it before something else can begin. This is where the communication aspect of your relationship kicks in. Come on, you started a relationship with the other person, you have to have some respect for them.

You owe the person you respect complete honesty. They probably know you better than others know you, and if you're attitude suddenly changes, then they're going to jump to a conclusion (I don't mean that they'll think you're cheating on them, just that you've been a lot less you more recently).

It's hard for the other person to say, "what's up with this person" when most people would react defensively. That's where you have to chime in and say.. (BEFORE they suspect) Umm.. "I think we have a problem". That's where you work things out, good or bad. (I know, way tougher than it sounds).

I personally don't believe you should leave a relationship for another person, if you're unhappy in your current relationship, you either have to deal with it, or live with it, in dealing I mean breaking up or living with it, I mean just continue working on it.

Most times, this isn't a defined line. You constantly have a string of new people who come into your life, and each individual affects you differently. If you're completely happy in your situation, no one else will hold a candle to this other person, and it just isn't an issue.

Like I said, a sticky road.

BUT there's also that gray area in relationships where the communication is all goopie, you have very strong unresolved feelings for the other person (this is where the person knows the relationship is over, but the emotions and the feelings won't let them go.. this is the hardest position to be in). That's when said person is usually emotionally unavailable (meaning they're single, but their heart never leaves the together camp). Also, where the other person believes there's a defined break, and they move on.

It's hard when you think you're on the same page with the other person, and it ends up all craptastic... words are tricky, and every situation is different...Things involving the heart seem to be WAY over analyzed and especially when emotions are involved, they're just not logical and way too complicated.

*sighs* being a monk sounds good sometimes.. fewer complications.. But then again, life is fucking amazingly fantastic (with all it's boils and pox and wrinkles) abstaining from life (which I think monks do) would be a waste... I'm sure they don't think that, but that's my own opinion. I'm not saying I don't have respect for them, but it's definitely not life according to me.

I agree.

People are petty, and impulsive....they do what they see is best for them, despite excuses.

selfishness and insecurity is almost always the main cause of a break up.

I don't start a relationship unless i know I wont be ending it.

the situation may be different in a lot of cases, being thorough should prevent a lot of "craptastic" breakups and communication issues.....i would hope.

[pomba gira]

No. 'Cos you are causing problems for TWO people. During my first marriage I had a fling (ok by our rules) that turned into more (definitely not ok)... and the worst part was knowing that whatever I did, I was going to hurt someone I cared about. So I could never put anyone in that position.

Now, to be honest, Tokagemaru was "taken" when we first got together. But I really truly wasn't "pursuing" him... I figured we could just be friends, and things just kind of happened. It wasn't like I set out to take him away from this person.

[jynxxxedangel]

If I even have the least inkling someone who is digging on me is still attached to someone in any way, I will call him OUT for being a player!!!!

Cad!! Scoundrel!! Rake!!

I have too much respect for other womens' dignity (it hurts like all FUCK to get punk'd by some dude, I've BEEN there more than once), and too few female friends as it stands.

Therefore, remaining extremely and dutifully honorable behooves me. Even old grey alley-cats have morals.

I've never been in a situation where things just happened, I would not be able to live with myself if I injured another woman's heart.

This is just my own personal moralistic standing. Different strokes and measures for different people.

[JaneDead]

I have too much respect for other womens' dignity (it hurts like all FUCK to get punk'd by some dude, I've BEEN there more than once), and too few female friends as it stands.

I've never been in a situation where things just happened, I would not be able to live with myself if I injured another woman's heart.

[asphyxian_doll]

If I even have the least inkling someone who is digging on me is still attached to someone in any way, I will call him OUT for being a player!!!!

Cad!! Scoundrel!! Rake!!

I have too much respect for other womens' dignity (it hurts like all FUCK to get punk'd by some dude, I've BEEN there more than once), and too few female friends as it stands.

Therefore, remaining extremely and dutifully honorable behooves me. Even old grey alley-cats have morals.

I've never been in a situation where things just happened, I would not be able to live with myself if I injured another woman's heart.

This is just my own personal moralistic standing. Different strokes and measures for different people.

I love you jynxie

[Riku Namako]

~.~; yeah, I don't think so. admire their looks, pine for their affections from afar, but act on this not, biggest no no in the book. Its even weirder if they are swinger types...if thats teh case, proceed with caution, cuz lots of times, that gets really ugly.

[asphyxian_doll]

:(...this topic is viewed in so many perspectives....

Don't pursue someone who is taken,

if you know they are it is only HONORABLE to do so.....

I don't believe in excuses....

[jynxxxedangel]

*bows low and curtsies*

Even pirate bitches can be true ladies..

No man-stealing here!

[asphyxian_doll]

*bows low and curtsies*

Even pirate bitches can be true ladies..

No man-stealing here!

Better believe it!!!!

Call me sometime.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Better believe it!!!!

Call me sometime.

sometime...there...ha

yeah..see...I dunno...I'm kinda stuck in this situation where I'm NOT happy where I'm at in my relationship...but situations keep me there....and someone I am pining for is single....and I KNOW the right course of action...and I am following it....but it's nowhere NEAR easy....and I have my slip ups...

[Guest Megalicious]

If I even have the least inkling someone who is digging on me is still attached to someone in any way, I will call him OUT for being a player!!!!

Cad!! Scoundrel!! Rake!!

I have too much respect for other womens' dignity (it hurts like all FUCK to get punk'd by some dude, I've BEEN there more than once), and too few female friends as it stands.

Therefore, remaining extremely and dutifully honorable behooves me. Even old grey alley-cats have morals.

I've never been in a situation where things just happened, I would not be able to live with myself if I injured another woman's heart.

This is just my own personal moralistic standing. Different strokes and measures for different people.

Well said.

I am a big believer in what comes around, goes around ..... So me myself, personally don't go after (even if I may have strong feelings for) some one elses SO.

[Head Wreck]

+1 for using insults i tend to use

[TygerLili]

I may decide to elaborate on my admittedly ever-evolving stance on this later, but I'm in a hurry right now and the best way that I can sum up my feelings is this:

What goes around comes around. If a person leaves their SO for you, that person is eventually going to cheat on you or leave you for someone else. I had a guy dump his girlfriend for me once. I told him to hit the road, and then she and I became friends.

[hunhee]

sometime...there...ha

yeah..see...I dunno...I'm kinda stuck in this situation where I'm NOT happy where I'm at in my relationship...but situations keep me there....and someone I am pining for is single....and I KNOW the right course of action...and I am following it....but it's nowhere NEAR easy....and I have my slip ups...

I guess my thing is .. umm.. shit or get off the pot?

I am aware of part of your extenuating circumstances, but babes, sometimes you have to put you and your needs in front of others.. It's not always easy to do, but it's what's needed, and sometimes things work out the best in the long run.

[phee]

Things are rarely black and white....

[Oh_My_Goth]

I don't start a relationship unless i know I wont be ending it.

It is impossible to ever be sure a relationship will not end.....

{Not being a Dick, I just had to say something.....}

[Rev.Reverence]

I guess my thing is .. umm.. shit or get off the pot?

I am aware of part of your extenuating circumstances, but babes, sometimes you have to put you and your needs in front of others.. It's not always easy to do, but it's what's needed, and sometimes things work out the best in the long run.

Yup...grow a pair!

..wait...GFPromo.....didn't I hear someone tell you that...on the 4th...that was the night!

OOhhh...yeah!...it was ME!

[torn asunder]

The best thing for this type of this is the "random drunken kiss". Get drunk with the friend, randomly kiss them and see what they do. If they're weirded, then OMG you're sooooo drunk! Sorry! If they aren't, there you go. LOL