Gossip: good or bad?

[pomba gira]

In one of my classes we watched a video of a seminar with Rick Lavoie, who works with kids who have learning disabilities (or "learning differences" which I greatly prefer). This particular seminar is about the extreme difficulty many of these kids have negotiating even the most basic social situations. One piece of advice he gave to parents of girls who have social skills issues was "teach your daughter how to gossip". He went on to say that he was using "gossip" in its original sense of, simply, "conversations about the lives of others".

This got me thinking... I've heard that gossip fills the social function of letting us know what's "normal" and acceptable in our community, and also of reinforcing connections with people we may not necessarily have a lot of one-on-one contact with. Maybe so... lately I'm spending a fair amount of time in a milieu where people gossip a LOT, but then again, they all seem genuinely concerned for each other and truly are neighbors in the old-time sense.

So- on to the question. Is gossip always a negative, hurtful thing? Or can it be positive? Does it really serve a useful social function, or would we all be better off just minding our own business?

BTW, I highly recommend Rick Lavoie's books/dvds/seminars to all parents of special needs children... he's right up there with Mel Levine (All Kinds of Minds) and Jim Fay (Love and Logic) on my list of educational heroes.

[Msterbeau]

The word gossip these days has a negative stigma to it. Perhaps what your getting at is more accurately termed conversation? Just because it's about a third party doesn't make it bad. I think it's up to the people involved to keep it useful and informative vs. mean-spirited and judging, which is what "gossip" tends to be.

[Guest Megalicious]

The word gossip these days has a negative stigma to it.

I would agree with that, I believe it has always had a negative stigma. But its a good question P, I guess I never really thought of the positive side of gossip. Interesting post, it's got me thinking, I like that!

[Miranda]

There's and old saying that come's to mind: "There's gossip and then there's the truth." Which is just a way of excusing gossiping. I suppose it is in the way that this information is presented. You are still talking behind someone's back when they aren't there. If a person is being malicious, you can sense that versus them being caring and really wanting a good outcome. Some folks just enjoy watching other people suffer. Unfortunately, the one's who are being gossiped about usually really need insight and advice and are just being made fun of behind their backs. I don't necessarily think Jr. needs to know that Ms. Wilson is having an affair while Mr. Wilson is away. It seems like it's crossing a line. You definitely do need to teach children about diversity though, I agree with that. This way the child has a concept of ethic.