Your completely unreasonable dating requirements...

[TygerLili]

Must not spend more than 35% of your time bitching about how much your life (relationship status, sex life, family, job, etc.) sucks. That's not just a dating requirement. It's fast becoming a friend requirement. Not sure how unreasonable that is, but OMFG!

[Msterbeau]

Must not spend more than 35% of your time bitching about how much your life (relationship status, sex life, family, job, etc.) sucks. That's not just a dating requirement. It's fast becoming a friend requirement. Not sure how unreasonable that is, but OMFG!

That's not unreasonable. That's impossible...

[Riku Namako]

must not be arrogant, but confident.

shut up, I know the difference.

[n0Mad]

Must not spend more than 35% of your time bitching about how much your life (relationship status, sex life, family, job, etc.) sucks. That's not just a dating requirement. It's fast becoming a friend requirement. Not sure how unreasonable that is, but OMFG!

Geez, your requirement sucks. Just like my life, relationship status, sex life, family, and job. Oh, and I can't forget about my etc. It sucks almost as much as your unreasonable dating requirement. God my etc. sucks. It needs to go.

*runs*

[Mean Salley]

Blasphemy!!!

thanks for keeping the faith, brother

now it's time to play "burn the witch"

[Brenda Starrr]

He has to have nice hands and feet. I don't think I have a fetish per se, but doing what I do makes me an authority on nice hands and feet. And if I didn't like the hands and feet, they had to allow me to do something about them or get out.

[Guest greyhalo]

He has to have nice hands and feet. I don't think I have a fetish per se, but doing what I do makes me an authority on nice hands and feet. And if I didn't like the hands and feet, they had to allow me to do something about them or get out.

That makes sense for you to say this considering your line of work.

[zenaleigh]

This is MY(and I stress MINE/MY/NOT YOURS) perfect man,all others will NEVER compare

[Brenda Starrr]

That makes sense for you to say this considering your line of work.

I can't help it. I also had something against pimples. But now that I'm going to school to be an aesthetician, I pray to God that I see some zits.

[Eevee]

An attractive voice.

Something maybe unique that can get husky...or just husky or deep.

If you have a voice like Alan Rickman's...I will wet my panties whenever you speak to me.

[StormKnight (1)]

An attractive voice.

Something maybe unique that can get husky...or just husky or deep.

If you have a voice like Alan Rickman's...I will wet my panties whenever you speak to me.

*Begins practicing in his deep, command giving voice*

[pheramoans]

^{Nice eyes, and forearms.}

A sense of humor.

SOME childishness, when it's appropriate.

There's more but..meh. x.x

[Msterbeau]

An attractive voice.

Something maybe unique that can get husky...or just husky or deep.

If you have a voice like Alan Rickman's...I will wet my panties whenever you speak to me.

Whoa! You really don't want to wait till you"re married, do you? ;-)

[Guest greyhalo]

Is someone who appreciates me too unreasonable? I'm tired of being "too nice."

[Goth Brooks]

Ooo a quiz! OK I'll play :D

Yeah I fail... wanna go halves on a bastard?

[StormKnight (1)]

Is someone who appreciates me too unreasonable? I'm tired of being "too nice."

+1 Been accused of that, too. Most depressing.

Edited November 27, 2008 by StormKnight

[Guest greyhalo]

+1 Been accused of that, too. Most depressing.

I can't help but to be nice to someone I like. I'm a romantic idiot, I guess.

[Head Wreck]

nice is good.

[Goth Brooks]

i won't date anyone other than Vamp Voluptuous, unless i'm being rented by the half hour.

that's fine, i only need 2 minutes

[Simon Bar Sinister]

NO loud public arguments. Drunkeness/intoxication is NO excuse.

[jynxxxedangel]

Must be more sane and level-headed than I am..

..as he will most likely become my handler and interpreter.

[Head Wreck]

Must be more sane and level-headed than I am..

..as he will most likely become my handler and interpreter.

heh. thats the oposite of what i need. i need someone to drag me out of my habitual cave

[taysteewonderbunny]

I am editing this and reposting since my dating status has changed. Some deletions in the quote below.

Well, see....I've known I was bi since I was 19. And though sex is very (let me reiterate, VERY) important to me, I don't like having sex with people that I don't feel emotionally connected to. Is icky. And I've tried enough times to know, most certainly, that it doesn't work for me. So, being bi has always been problematic. I tried resolving it in the past by having an open relationship--didn't like it. Then by connecting to one, a male or female for whom I deeply cared and then trying to work in a third, and it has always blown up in my face. Generally it goes like this: either I am with a girl who is lesbian and is disgusted by the prospect of having a man join us and the men who are available to us are typically chauvinistic boobs who believe that it will be all about them and the pre-teen fantasies they've been harboring since the first time they jacked off to their neighbor's father's stolen copy of Hustler. Ick. Or I'm with a guy whom I dig very much, but believes that I will be satisfied with any dumb-as-fuck pussy-carrier with the body of a toothpick and personality to match (thin, void of nutrients, prone to splintering) and insists on trying to get it on with this wooden stick much to my total revulsion and resentment of them both. I'm picky. And for good reason.

My requirements:

1) Real caring. 1a) That means being emotionally available and forthright. Come on out and say what you want and need. Don't make me guess. 1b) When I say I need your support, extend yourself. 1c) I like men and women who are honest, daring, and sensitive. Be vulnerable. It's a kind of strength in itself. 1d) And little gestures mean a lot. I make them often, don't expect any return other than in kind. Things like hugs, kisses, little love notes, foot rubs, cleaning up after oneself, checking in with "how are you doing?" and "how was your day?", complements (especially when conquering past bad habits), encouragement. Basically, I think that we are all like children all of our lives; it's just that when we become adults, we develop this ability to parent each other in the ways that perhaps our own were lacking. We never get too old for unconditional love, tough love, and just being there.

2) Intelligence. I don't mean just per the Stanford-Binet scale. I mean having a real lust for learning and the application of your newly acquired knowledge in any arena. The world is too intricate and amazing to be content with the little corner of it that you were born to. Explore, experience, adapt, adopt, and share.

3) Sex and sensuality. I am really big on touch, and smell, and taste, and the way you sound when I make you feel good. I like sex and plenty of it. Really, like everyday (even several times a day, or all day) if possible. It should be gooey, dangerous, and creative. I like pain, but not humiliation. Shame should be banished. Otherwise, let's see what we can make, shall we? I don't like girls that only pretend to like girls for the sake of getting the guys hot. I don't like fake orgasms. Really, why are you wasting my time? If you want something, ask me. I'm probably game. Oh, and anal is a must.

4) Some ability to cope with the real world. And a desire to do good in it. By this, I refer to a desire for community and an ability to negotiate the needs of the many with the desires of the one, an appreciation for others, a sense of responsibility and spirituality, however you want to define it, and a moral compass.

An explanation of my methods:

Rule #1: I do not seriously date, or even keep as an fwb, anyone whom I have not known for at least one year. Sure, I probably lose some prospects this way, but I figure, if they are really worth my time, in that year we will at least have remained friendly if not have become friends over the course of that year. Why so strict? Because I have an active romantic imagination and if I become involved with people too soon, I tend to project my desires onto them instead of learning who they really are and the let down is often quite unbearable. Plus, I lose the opportunity to really know and appreciate the person for who he or she actually is, and that sucks too. Because this way too I don't do stupid shit like run off to New Orleans with someone I've only known for two weeks; if someone moves in the first 12 months of knowing him/her, it was probably not meant to be. Also, what does it mean about how I value my heart if I'm willing to give it away to the first person who expresses an interest? Surely, I am more valuable than that. Lastly, I have found that it is much easier to remain friends with an ex if one was friends with him/her first. And I don't like losing friends.

Rule #2: No physical violence; no verbal abuse. This is not negotiable. B & D is different. There are agreed upon rules and limits, and I like that.

Rule #3: Mutual good chemistry must emerge within the first 3 months of dating, or I de-escalate to friendship. No use beating a dead mule. My two longest relationships were ones in which I did not ever fall "in love". If it doesn't happen in the first 3, it likely won't ever. And though, in one case, the friendship deepened (we're still friends, actually), I can't believe that living a lie like that is fair to anybody involved.

Like everybody, I fall "in like" pretty easily, but these are usually passing fancies. It's fun and exciting meeting new people. And it feels awesome to be validated by people who are excited about meeting you. But the parts of love that are most worthwhile take time to develop. In every relationship that lasts more than a little while, there are difficulties to endure and hardships to overcome. And if friendship isn't a large part of that foundation, I don't know how it is supposed to survive for very long. I'm sure I confuse many people, because I do like to flirt and consider a large part of it (dancing, hugs, massages, kisses on the cheek) innocent fun (relatively speaking). But I do that AND want to get to know people better, too. I'm not looking for anyone to put on their best behavior to impress me, or to promise that he or she will wait indefinitely for me to "come around". I just want to know and love (as friends) as many people as possible, because people are awesome.

Consequently, I instituted the rules so that I don't commit myself overmuch oversoon to the wrong people. It is a defense mechanism, surely, but one that was instituted by many, many times learning the HARD WAY.

That is not to say that I don't ever commit and get let down. As the adage goes, if one has never loved and lost, one has never loved. And weirdly, that kind of agony is worthwhile. But if it happens every few weeks or days--wtf? That's just crazy. I can sincerely say that I've only been in love with three people in my lifetime. I hope to fall in love just twice more.

And that's where I am right now. If I didn't manage to scare you off or insult you, come say hello.

[jynxxxedangel]

heh. thats the oposite of what i need. i need someone to drag me out of my habitual cave

^^ is getting shanghaied one of these days..

[Msterbeau]

I am editing this and reposting since my dating status has changed. Some deletions in the quote below.

An explanation of my methods:

Rule #1: I do not seriously date, or even keep as an fwb, anyone whom I have not known for at least one year. Sure, I probably lose some prospects this way, but I figure, if they are really worth my time, in that year we will at least have remained friendly if not have become friends over the course of that year. Why so strict? Because I have an active romantic imagination and if I become involved with people too soon, I tend to project my desires onto them instead of learning who they really are and the let down is often quite unbearable. Plus, I lose the opportunity to really know and appreciate the person for who he or she actually is, and that sucks too. Because this way too I don't do stupid shit like run off to New Orleans with someone I've only known for two weeks; if someone moves in the first 12 months of knowing him/her, it was probably not meant to be. Also, what does it mean about how I value my heart if I'm willing to give it away to the first person who expresses an interest? Surely, I am more valuable than that. Lastly, I have found that it is much easier to remain friends with an ex if one was friends with him/her first. And I don't like losing friends.

Rule #2: No physical violence; no verbal abuse. This is not negotiable. B & D is different. There are agreed upon rules and limits, and I like that.

Rule #3: Mutual good chemistry must emerge within the first 3 months of dating, or I de-escalate to friendship. No use beating a dead mule. My two longest relationships were ones in which I did not ever fall "in love". If it doesn't happen in the first 3, it likely won't ever. And though, in one case, the friendship deepened (we're still friends, actually), I can't believe that living a lie like that is fair to anybody involved.

Like everybody, I fall "in like" pretty easily, but these are usually passing fancies. It's fun and exciting meeting new people. And it feels awesome to be validated by people who are excited about meeting you. But the parts of love that are most worthwhile take time to develop. In every relationship that lasts more than a little while, there are difficulties to endure and hardships to overcome. And if friendship isn't a large part of that foundation, I don't know how it is supposed to survive for very long. I'm sure I confuse many people, because I do like to flirt and consider a large part of it (dancing, hugs, massages, kisses on the cheek) innocent fun (relatively speaking). But I do that AND want to get to know people better, too. I'm not looking for anyone to put on their best behavior to impress me, or to promise that he or she will wait indefinitely for me to "come around". I just want to know and love (as friends) as many people as possible, because people are awesome.

Consequently, I instituted the rules so that I don't commit myself overmuch oversoon to the wrong people. It is a defense mechanism, surely, but one that was instituted by many, many times learning the HARD WAY.

That is not to say that I don't ever commit and get let down. As the adage goes, if one has never loved and lost, one has never loved. And weirdly, that kind of agony is worthwhile. But if it happens every few weeks or days--wtf? That's just crazy. I can sincerely say that I've only been in love with three people in my lifetime. I hope to fall in love just twice more.

And that's where I am right now. If I didn't manage to scare you off or insult you, come say hello.