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Posted

Craving something terribly.

Me too!

Posted

Hungry

Posted

Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness. Hooray.

Posted

I hate myself right now, it feels so bad to be going through this stuff and knowing that there is nothing I can't do about it right now, it's a process, I hate laying here at night crying and not having nobody to just put their arms around me and tell me that "it's going to get better", and that they care about me. At night it's the hardest. I am suppose to be strong but I am so weak. I wish my emotions would die, I don't want to feel anything, anymore. Life just really hurts right now, last time things were this bad I started snorting cocaine. I don't want to hit bottom like that again. I don't know if I could ever come back again after going to that place. Lately I find myself wanting it, alot.

I am sorry for posting things on DGN and making myself seem like such an emotional wreck and a fool. I am sorry.

Posted

I hate myself right now, it feels so bad to be going through this stuff and knowing that there is nothing I can't do about it right now, it's a process, I hate laying here at night crying and not having nobody to just put their arms around me and tell me that "it's going to get better", and that they care about me. At night it's the hardest. I am suppose to be strong but I am so weak. I wish my emotions would die, I don't want to feel anything, anymore. Life just really hurts right now, last time things were this bad I started snorting cocaine. I don't want to hit bottom like that again. I don't know if I could ever come back again after going to that place. Lately I find myself wanting it, alot.

I am sorry for posting things on DGN and making myself seem like such an emotional wreck and a fool. I am sorry.

Hang in there...things will get better....this too shall pass.... :grouphug

Posted

my ego's bruised.....i just got called ugly by 2 chicks in under 5 minutes....damn.. :confused:

Posted

I hate myself right now, it feels so bad to be going through this stuff and knowing that there is nothing I can't do about it right now, it's a process, I hate laying here at night crying and not having nobody to just put their arms around me and tell me that "it's going to get better", and that they care about me. At night it's the hardest. I am suppose to be strong but I am so weak. I wish my emotions would die, I don't want to feel anything, anymore. Life just really hurts right now, last time things were this bad I started snorting cocaine. I don't want to hit bottom like that again. I don't know if I could ever come back again after going to that place. Lately I find myself wanting it, alot.

I am sorry for posting things on DGN and making myself seem like such an emotional wreck and a fool. I am sorry.

There is no need to apologise. We are all family and here for you. It WILL get better and a big virtual hug to you. As for me Im feeling content.

Posted

my ego's bruised.....i just got called ugly by 2 chicks in under 5 minutes....damn.. :confused:

They probably werent anything to look at themselves.

Posted

I'm feeling a massive nic-fit. :X

Posted (edited)

...and repetitive, obviously. LOL!

Edited by jynxxxedangel
Posted

...and repetitive, obviously. LOL!

Its great having you back. Now if we can just get your hubby back. I always enjoyed both of your posts!

Posted

Full of gloom.

Posted

Like I should be eating, or sleeping, or eating and then sleeping. Either way. :confused:

Posted

So damn lonely! I wish someone will speak up and tell me they will hold me for a few hours.

Posted

The week will be long.... but I think worth it.

Posted

ok recovering from last night,right now enjoying some coffee and avoiding creeps and fakes at the moment.

Posted

Absolutely super mood, for days on end....

Posted

like a million friggin peso's

Posted

Buff as fuck

/flex

Buff as fuck

/flex

Posted

Worn out.

Posted

lonley :/

Posted

Not that great today. I had a very bad night.

Posted

*hugs titsss*

gross. lethargic. ugh.

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    • Soulrev
      As much as I hate to actually admit this - I actually enjoyed my trip to Hell (Indiana).   I stayed away from the bad parts (Porter County, Lake County, Chicagoland to be specific) and stuck to the only area in Indiana I actually like (Culver, Bass Lake area) and you know, I had a really good time! I took my son camping and we spent a few days just chilling at the beaches (both Culver and Bass Lake have lakes and beaches) and I timed my trip so we could attend both towns' annual festivals. They had car shows at both festivals, but the Bass Lake car show was far superior. My son absolutely loves cars, so I'm pretty sure his face was sore for a week. He was smiling so hard all day; especially at the end of the car show when they all took off one by one, doing burnouts and what-not, that kid was grinning ear-to-ear! 🤣 I managed to spend some time with my parents and mend some of the broken ties we've had over the years. Did a little yard work, cleaned the roof and gutters since pops is getting a little too old to be up on a ladder. It was good for the wife, as well, as she only ever saw Indiana in the wintertime, I wanted her to see it in the summer when it's actually nice.    One thing we both hated was the humidity. God almighty was it humid. It seemed like we were in a sauna from the moment we crossed the Kansas state line, all the way to Indiana, and didn't get a bit of reprieve until we crossed back into Colorado 2 weeks later 🤣  We have definitely become acclimated to dry, arid climate. Idk how people tolerate that kind of humidity, that is insane. Especially since we just came back from a 3 week trip to Arizona where it was 118 degrees but tolerable because it was so dry.    I'm sad that I didn't get to make it to Detroit, but I'm sure it'll happen someday soon. It would be cool if I could time it for an event of sorts and have some sort of plan rather than just showing up and winging it. Maybe if there's ever another "gathering" or reunion of sorts, I could plan accordingly, that would be awesome! All in all it was a great trip, though. Got to spend much needed time with my son. Oh, and I almost forgot the best part! I passed TWO milestones with my son this trip, as I got to teach him how to shave AND how to drive! That's honestly why I had to make this trip.    My parents are doing a fine job raising my son (after they went behind my back and stole him from me by lying to the court telling them they didn't know my whereabouts, and adopting him (this is a whole 'nother story) )    But they are letting him down, in many ways. I could go on about this all day but they are in their 70s and have acted like they were in their 80s since they were in their 50s (if that makes any sense) but they have "I'm too old for that" excuses for days . . .  Which, apparently includes teaching him how to shave, how to drive, you know, simple everyday things a young man needs to learn to survive? Yeah, none of that. He's being homeschooled which would be great, but for whatever reason the online homeschooling he's doing doesn't allow you to "work ahead" so he's still going to be a "Senior in High School" when he turns 18. He misses public school for the socialization aspect and I totally understand where he's coming from as I grew up in that house, too, and they live in the country so it's not exactly easy to just go to your friend's house when you're at minimum 3 miles away from town. Hence why they don't want him getting a driver's license and hadn't taught him how to drive, yet. He will be 17 next month. When I was a kid if you didn't have your DL on/around your 16th birthday, you were a "dork" 🤣🤷    At any rate, they are the stay at home, never leave except to go buy groceries and drag my son off to church on Sundays (which he hates btw but can't tell them that or they'll probably stick him in a boys school or something) and that's it. My parents have no friends aside from my ass-kissing sister that they go see every once in a while. So in turn my son is stuck in that house on the computer 24/7 with no friends to hang out with in-person and nothing to do besides games and schoolwork. This is why the wife and I decided it would be best to take him camping while we were there and we were right, he had a really good time and it did wonders for our relationship.    I told him when he turns 18 he can withdraw himself from his online "homeschooling" and move in with me here in Colorado, on my 80 acre ranch w 3bed 2bath home with a bedroom ready and waiting for him, and he can enroll himself in the public High School out here. It's a ranch community type school, it has very high ratings, excellent curriculum, no drug problems like the schools in Colorado Springs, and it's all new and very nice. He could get to meet some of the local kids from our community and make friends, and graduate like a normal kid.    I told him all of that and his face lit up. He's super excited to come live with his dad where he belongs. I only wish I could make it happen sooner. I will never forgive my parents for what they did. If only I had the money for an attorney, and the heart to possibly throw my parents under the bus for committing what is essentially fraud by lying to the court to get custody of my son. . . I digress. . .     Anyway, I'm glad I made that trip. My next plan is to go back to visit for Thanksgiving, and hopefully, somehow, convince my parents to let him stay with me in CO until Christmas. Oh, did I forget to mention they have never, not once in the 11 years I have owned this ranch, come to visit me OR allow my son to come visit me? Yeah. . . 
    • TronRP
      About to chauffeur to Rochester Hills. 
    • TronRP
      6:10am - Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 34 Guests(See full list) TronRP
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      10:19am - Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 57 Guests(See full list) TronRP
    • Stu
      It was so awesome to see Tron & C.J., along with a mess o' my wonderful friends at my Birthday gathering last Friday (the 7th).  I can't ignore Tron for being her awesome (and sneaky) self and being a living example of the phrase "love is a verb."  Tron, you are a very bright light in a very dark (not in a fun way) world.  I can't thank you enough.  ❤️
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