metro times ad makes

[Homicidalheathen]

The Metro Times in the Detroit, MI area runs a competition for the best

"Personal Ad", and gives a $15 gift certificate to a local music store

as the prize. This one won in the latest issue and has been circulating

around our office:

AD OF THE WEEK:

I am black and a woman. With children being slaughtered in Rowanda.

What difference does it make how big my breasts are, how long my legs

are, or how much money you or I make? To hell with long walks, holding

hands, candle lit dinners, and all of that other crap that people never

continue doing after the first date anyway; that didn't even take place

in Cinderella (I've seen the movie). If there is a man out there who:

isn't a crackhead or crack dealer,

isn't an alcoholic,

doesn't have any kids,

doesn't smoke,

doesn't beat women,

isn't wearing women's underwear as you're reading this ad,

isn't a liar,

isn't looking for fun behind his wife's back,

isn't into being hit, peed on, or tied up while having sex,

doesn't want to hit, pee on or tie me up while having sex,

likes having sex,

CAN have sex,

is not

in jail,

on probation,

has a court date pending,

isn't a

misogynist,

racist,

classist,

elitist,

lawyer,

politician,

member of the military,

policeman (Malice Green, Rodney King),

bible boy, or

a pompous ass.

What you have to be is HONEST, HONEST, HONEST!!! If you're out there,

if you exist, call me. Please don't make me give up on men. Prefer

letters.

[Msterbeau]

My older brother just started doing the online dating stuff... He needs to see this. *steals*

[Goth Brooks]

that cut down on pretty much 99.999% of detroit area's population.

i think she's probably dating some 120yr old rabbi right now.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

My all-time fave personal ad read as follows: "Minimalist seeks woman".

[Msterbeau]

My all-time fave personal ad read as follows: "Minimalist seeks woman".

*Steals that too*

[Homicidalheathen]

gawd where is this womans sense of adventure??? sheesh!

quote: isn't into being hit, peed on, or tied up while having sex,

yup with this list she will be single forever