Spooks thread of politcal jokes...

[Msterbeau]

Take it away...

[n0Mad]

House the Homeless?

I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl the other day. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she replied, "I want to be President!" Both of her parents are liberal Democrats and were standing there. So then I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give houses to all the homeless people."

"Wow - what a worthy goal." I told her, "You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where this homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house."

Since she is only 6, she thought that over for a few seconds. While her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her folks still aren't talking to me.

[n0Mad]

The Honorable Tom Harkin

731 Hart Senate Office Building

Phone (202) 224 3254

Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by th e Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

[n0Mad]

Feudalism

You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Socialism

You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn

with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The

government gives you a glass of milk.

Fascism

You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of

them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism

You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them and you

all share the milk.

Russian Communism

You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government

takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it

on the black market.

Perestroika

You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes

all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the

"free" market.

Cambodian Communism

You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Dictatorship

You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Pure Democracy

You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy

You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to

tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucracy

You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed

them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then

it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the

drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing

cows.

Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies

and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the profit.

Olympics-ism

You have two cows, one American, one Chinese.

With the help of trilling violins and state of the art montage

photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow

overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced

parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every

day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its

eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder

in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to

endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by

Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it.

McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing

restaurant.

American Corporate Capitalism

You have two cows. Both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are

set out to graze on privatized public parks, release massive amounts of

flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet

light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a

result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you

mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interest rates in order

to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal

illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The

corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from

cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the

country where labor and resources are cheap.

Enron Venture Capitalism

1. You have two cows.

2. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back with a tax exemption for five cows.

3. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary

to an offshore company secretly owned by the majority stockholder who

sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

4. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

5. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States from

Texas, leaving you with nine cows.

6. No balance sheet is provided with the release of the annual report.

7. The public buys your bull and you use a small portion of your profits

to buy Congress's support for regulating all transactions involving

cows.

[n0Mad]

Cracked Pot Theory

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a

pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in

it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion

of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the

cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on

daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the

poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that

it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of

what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by

the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to

leak out all the way back to your house" The old woman smiled, "Did you

notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the

other pot's side?"

"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower

seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you

water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful

flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are,

there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Each of us has our

own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make

our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to

take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my crackpot friends and family, have a great day and

remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path.

[Rev.Reverence]

House the Homeless?

I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl the other day. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she replied, "I want to be President!" Both of her parents are liberal Democrats and were standing there. So then I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give houses to all the homeless people."

"Wow - what a worthy goal." I told her, "You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where this homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house."

Since she is only 6, she thought that over for a few seconds. While her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her folks still aren't talking to me.

Spook's lil' friend-->

[peelingchrome]

What's the difference between a stockbroker and a seagull?

A seagull can still leave a deposit on a BMW.

[Rev.Reverence]

Cracked Pot Theory

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a

pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in

it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion

of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the

cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on

daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the

poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that

it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of

what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by

the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to

leak out all the way back to your house" The old woman smiled, "Did you

notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the

other pot's side?"

"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower

seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you

water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful

flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are,

there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Each of us has our

own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make

our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to

take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my crackpot friends and family, have a great day and

remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path.

Thank you!

[n0Mad]

I got all of these from various teachers I've had in my pursuit for an MBA. Some are political but they can all be applied to the business world. I also got the "How the stock market works" with monkeys thing that Marc posted which is why I originally stuck all of these over there.

[phee]

"I am not a Republican, but I am saving up to be one" - Emo Philips

[peelingchrome]

New Sexually Transmitted Disease Warning

Worse than SARS and Bird Flu combined, The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

[peelingchrome]

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

You Might Be A Democrat If...

You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.

You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."

You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."

You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.

You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.

You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.

You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.

You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.

You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.

You've never been mugged.

You actually expect to collect Social Security.

You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.

You think the Great Society has actually worked.

You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.

You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."

You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.

Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.

Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."

You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.

You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.

You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.

You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.

You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.

You know at least one Vegan.

You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.

You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.

You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.

You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.

You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.

You actually think that poverty can be abolished.

You think that Joan Baez had something to say.

You admire the Swedish welfare system.

You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."

You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%

You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.

After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."

[peelingchrome]

Roswell Explanation

Many of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, several reliable witnesses claimed that an unidentified flying object, with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside of Roswell, New Mexico. If you do not know about this, look it up on Google.

This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.

However, what you may not know, is that during the month of March, 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Condoleezza Rice, Karl Rove and Dan Quayle were all born.

This is apparently what happens when aliens breed with sheep.

[Msterbeau]

This is apparently what happens when aliens breed with sheep.

:

[peelingchrome]

American History 101

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.

"Who said, 'Give me Liberty or give me Death' ?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki's

"Patrick Henry 1775," he said.

"Very good! Who said '...government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper, "Screw the Japs."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Suzuki raised his hand: "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point a student said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Who said that?"

Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps up waving his hand and shouts, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

With near mob hysteria, someone screams, "You little s**t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Suzuki yells, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her.

One of the kids says, "Oh s**t, we're in BIG trouble!"

Suzuki says, "Arthur Andersen, 2002."

[n0Mad]

"Who said that?"

I'd be pissing myself if I didn't just go a few minutes ago.

[n0Mad]

THE JOB - URINE TEST

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB ... SO I AGREE 100% Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work. . . .

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

[peelingchrome]

THE JOB - URINE TEST

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB ... SO I AGREE 100% Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work. . . .

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

+10

[Msterbeau]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense?"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep crap."

[phee]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense?"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep crap."

LOL

[n0Mad]

A FATHER DAUGHTER DISCUSSION

Author Unknown

"A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day, while dad was cleaning and oiling his SA XD-9, she started in challenging her CCW father about his conservative stand on 2nd. Amendment rights. Well, in short order she saw right away she and her anti-gun stance was on shaky ground so, trying to gain the high ground, she quickly changed course to her father's opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?'

Again caught off guard she replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She's so popular on campus that college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's crazy, anyway! How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father, returning his firearm to its holster, slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Sweetheart, welcome to the Republican party."

[Rev.Reverence]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense?"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep crap."

[phee]

A FATHER DAUGHTER DISCUSSION

Author Unknown

"A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day, while dad was cleaning and oiling his SA XD-9, she started in challenging her CCW father about his conservative stand on 2nd. Amendment rights. Well, in short order she saw right away she and her anti-gun stance was on shaky ground so, trying to gain the high ground, she quickly changed course to her father's opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?'

Again caught off guard she replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She's so popular on campus that college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's crazy, anyway! How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father, returning his firearm to its holster, slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Sweetheart, welcome to the Republican party."

You know what makes that so funny?

It points out the undisputed fact that all people who are poor simply are lazy, and all people who are rich work harder then them.... HaHaHahhahaha

*sacrasm*

[Rev.Reverence]

You know what makes that so funny?

It points out the undisputed fact that all people who are poor simply are lazy, and all people who are rich work harder then them.... HaHaHahhahaha

*sacrasm*

THAT...was a good one!

[phee]

THAT...was a good one!

Oh BTW... Rev... Welcome to the Republican Party