Funny News

[Bczarthings]

Man to hold 'I was stupid' sign outside Wis. plant

Oct 9, 8:33 PM (ET)

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. (AP) - A man who caused damage at a waste water treatment plant in Eau Claire has decided to pick public humiliation over jail time to pay for his crime.

Eau Claire County Judge Paul Lenz gave Shane McQuillan an option after he was found guilty of criminal damage to property for ramming his car into a closed gate at the plant.

McQuillan could spent time in jail, or spend a day outside the plant holding a sign that says "I was stupid." McQuillan chose the sign sentence Wednesday.

The 22-year-old told an officer after the incident last March that he had been drinking and was "just being stupid."

[Rev.Reverence]

...more penalties need to be handed out like this one...IT MIGHT teach some peoples a bit better than jail....

...(why "ground" someone when a "time-out" will do?)

[Onyx]

I agree. Too many get jail time when something like this would likely be more of a deterrent.

[TitsMcGee]

I think he should have had to do that for like a week...thats a definate time out

[Rev.Reverence]

I think he should have had to do that for like a week...thats a definate time out

[Azeuron]

yeah one day does seem a bit lax

[Homicidalheathen]

i beleive in public humiliation.

beats chopping off of limbs.

[Bczarthings]

Ananova:

Woman killed by husband's coffin

A Brazilian woman has died after being struck by her husband's coffin when a hearse was involved in a car crash.

The 67-year-old woman was on the way to the cemetery to bury her husband, reports the BBC.

The hearse was struck from behind by an Alfa Romeo car, police said.

The coffin slammed into the head of the woman, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the hearse, killing her instantly, according to officers.

Marciana Silva Barcelos and her family were on the way to a cemetery in the town of Alvorada in the Brazilian state of Rio Grande do Sul, for the funeral of her partner, Josi Silveira Coimbra.

The 76-year-old man had died of a heart attack on Sunday after attending a dance.

Following the accident, the driver of the Alfa Romeo was trapped for around 50 minutes in the wreckage and was taken to hospital.

The driver of the hearse and a son of the dead man, who was also travelling in the hearse, were treated for minor injuries.

[TheGimp]

wow wtf lol

[Bczarthings]

wow wtf lol

wtf is right, how about that shit... but I still had to laugh...

Tragedy + Time = Comedy.... HA

[Bczarthings]

Robber threatens to complain after finding no cash

Nov 13, 7:51 PM (ET)

YORK, Pa. (AP) - Police say a central Pennsylvania man tried to rob a bank - but tellers' empty cash drawers thwarted his attempt. Springettsbury Township Police Lt. Scott Laird said the tellers were waiting for their cash drawers to be filled when a man entered a Susquehanna Bank branch Thursday morning and demanded money. The first teller fainted and the next two showed him their empty cash drawers.

Laird says the robber then threatened to file a complaint with bank management before leaving.

A customer at the drive-through called 911. A 48-year-old man was arrested about 10 blocks away and was held in the York County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bail. He was charged with criminal attempt to commit robbery.

[Homicidalheathen]

that is hellarious

sounds like one for the.....

amazing stories of stupidity

[TitsMcGee]

Ha!

[Bczarthings]

Rapper gets 20 years after writing shooting song

Nov 19, 9:03 PM (ET)

DUBLIN, Ga. (AP) - He shot a man twice and felt so good about it, police said, a rapper wrote a song describing the shooting and calling out the victim by name. A judge sentenced 25-year-old Rico Todriquez Wright Monday to spend the next 20 years in prison after his victim mentioned the hip hop confession to police.

Chad Blue, 28, told police he had known Wright before the September 2006 shooting, but that the men weren't friendly. He testified companions egged Wright on as he chased and shot his victim in the thigh and groin.

Later, Blue told police he recognized Wright's voice on a CD, rapping "Chad Blue knows how I shoot."

Wright was sentenced to 20 years for two counts of aggravated assault. He will spend another 20 years on probation.

[jynxxxedangel]

Elvis lives?

Here's the story of the related court-case. It figures, it has to do with a petition to reopen the matter of Vernon Presley's (Elvis's father) estate.

Vernon Presley's Estate

Also..

"Ancient Greeks pre-empted Dead Parrot sketch"

By Daniel Flynn Daniel Flynn – Fri Nov 14, 2:15 pm ET

ATHENS (Reuters) – "I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."

For those who believe the ancient Greeks thought of everything first, proof has been found in a 4th century AD joke book featuring an ancestor of Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch where a man returns a parrot to a shop, complaining it is dead.

The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said Friday.

"By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"

In a British comedy act Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, first aired in 1969 and regularly voted one of the funniest ever, the pet-shop owner says the parrot, a "Norwegian Blue," is not dead, just "resting" or "pining for the fjords."

The English-language book will appeal to those who swear that the old jokes are the best ones. Many of its 265 gags will seem strikingly familiar, suggesting that sex, dimwits, nagging wives and flatulence have raised laughs for centuries.

FAR-FETCHED CLOAK

In many of the jokes, a slow-witted figure known as the "student dunce" is the butt of the jokes. In one, the student dunce goes to the city and a friend asks him to buy two 15-year-old slaves: No problem,' responds the dunce. If I don't find two 15-year-olds, I'll get one 30-year-old.'

In another, someone asks to borrow the student's cloak to go down to the country. "I have a cloak to go down to your ankle, but I don't have one that reaches to the country," he replies.

The manuscript is attributed to a pair of ancient comedians called Hierocles and Philagrius. Little is known about them except that they were most likely the compilers of the jokes, not the original writers.

The multi-media e-book, which can be purchased online ( http://www.yudu.com/oldestjokebook ), features veteran British comedian Jim Bowen, 71, reviving the lines before a 21-century audience.

"Jim Bowen brings them back from the dead. It's like Jurassic Park for jokes," Richard Stephenson, CEO of digital publisher YUDU, said in a statement.

For Bowen, much of the material seemed very familiar: "One or two of them are jokes I've seen in peoples' acts nowadays, slightly updated: they put in a motor car instead of a chariot."

Other one-liners in Philogelos may baffle a modern audience, such as a series of jokes about a lettuce, which only make sense in light of the ancient belief it was an aphrodisiac.

(editing by Peter Millership)

[TheGimp]

YAY thank god he aint dead.....seriousely if he REALLY was alive how old would the king be now...i mean if hes alivehes aliveif hes dead hes dead thers no proof he really did die aside from what we saw eh...either way elvis sitings cant go on muchlonger he woulda died died from old age soon iamguesing now ilike some songs by him but iam not a fanatic