do I come to the aid of a drama queen or not?

[taysteewonderbunny]

I have a friend, not on this board, or I should say I had a friend with whom I've severed connections because of her repeated insistence on making wrong decisions to the detriment of her children and family, whose father died just yesterday. All the help and comfort I've given her in the past never quite fills the void for her and she escalates her situation. I don't like the way she treats her son (I've wanted to kidnap him and keep him for my own). And she's not always been nice to me. But I feel for her loss. Do I put my feelings aside to help keep her afloat in this case? Or should I let it go hoping that she finds other sources of support? I don't to be dragged back into her web, but I want to alleviate her suffering. What think you?

[Der Nister]

First I think she needs a swift kick in the ass to get her brain working.

Ok - now onto your question.

I say, leave her be. If she hasn't taken your advice before why would she start now? And it would prolly add stress to your well being. Secondly - you can't save people like that as much as you try.

The advice and comfort she is seeking is only what she wants/wants to hear. And it sounds like she uses others as a crutch because she refuses to grow up and be responsible.

That's just my pov though.

[gothkytten (2)]

i would at least tell them sorry for there loss. but thats it. sounds like no matter what you do or say is not helping. so save yourself from the stress

[candyman]

This happened to me recently...well, she was my ex for two weeks and then her dad died suddenly, but I think this fits. Even though we had a strained relationship I still stuck around to help her out. Most of it was over the phone but I did travel back to Wisconsin to be with her on the weekend of the funeral. I think that it may have actually helped our relationship a bit because even though we are still not together I have a strong friendship with her that I probably never would have had if I had written her off. She still does some stuff that bother and worries me but for the most part I feel that I did some good. Sometimes you can reach these people...sometimes you can't.

[TheGimp]

i say just send her a sympathy card or send flowers to the funeral home that way dont have to deal with her directly and you can feel good that you somewhat relived her suffering and she knows someone is thinking about her but its not so much a direct approach which iam sure ur not wanting

[taysteewonderbunny]

It's settled. I'm going, but not alone. And if she asks me why we aren't friends, I'll tell her that we can discuss it over coffee some other day.

[Raev]

It's settled. I'm going, but not alone. And if she asks me why we aren't friends, I'll tell her that we can discuss it over coffee some other day.

Wise choice, in my opinion.

[gothkytten (2)]

i think so to. dont worrie girl i got your back.

[Msterbeau]

Wise choice, in my opinion.

Agreed. Tough decision either way.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

Next week, on a very special episode of DGN...