AA Sponsor crossing the line?

[pomba gira]

I would like some opinions on this. Is it appropriate for a 12-step sponsor to ask a "sponsee" (whatever) to show him private emails between the sponsee and his significant other?

I feel this is way over the line... and an invasion of my privacy. I can't imagine any legitimate counselor, therapist, psychologist, whatever, would ask a client something like that. And I've dealt with a lot of counseling/mental health professionals over the years, as a client and an employee. So I have a fair idea of what's considered ethical and what isn't.

This is one of my main beefs with 12-step... these totally untrained, unqualified yahoos presuming to give people life advice.

What do people think? Am I justified in being upset over this? I realize I am pretty much incapable of being objective about 12-step... but this honestly seems like going too far.

[Rev.Reverence]

..I'll side with you on this one for sure...I would even be a bit freaked out if a notarized legal shrink wanted access to this information...that is certainly to personal.

[freydis]

It's not even appropriate for a good friend to *ask* that. Asking what someone said is one thing, requesting someone's private correspondence is another. Definitely over the line.

[candyman]

They legally need a judge to do something like that...otherwise they can't do anything unless its in plain sight...even then they would have to be charging you with something to begin with.

[TitsMcGee]

They stepped over the line. Frankly unless it's the cops asking (and even then) you don't have to show anyone your personaly correspondence. Maybe I'm wrong, but arn't sponsors basically people who have just been sober longer than you have? Do they have any real training?

[taysteewonderbunny]

Yes, I think it crosses the line. This individual should strongly reconsider their choice of a sponsor.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Damn, that is waaaaay over the line...

[pomba gira]

They stepped over the line. Frankly unless it's the cops asking (and even then) you don't have to show anyone your personaly correspondence. Maybe I'm wrong, but arn't sponsors basically people who have just been sober longer than you have? Do they have any real training?

No, they have no training whatsoever... they are just people who have been in "the program" for a substantial length of time, making themselves available to support newcomers. Some of them do a very good job of that... but I think this person is overstepping his boundaries.

[Homicidalheathen]

waaay over the line.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over

been in 12 step for oh say off and on, hm....20 yrs?

never heard of it most stay out of the relationships decisions except to offer support and tell someone you know being around alcohol is not good for you right now

even my therapist wouldn't touch that....when I complained about marital sex type issues she wouldn't offer suggestions really...just tell me that was up for me to decide.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

I would like some opinions on this. Is it appropriate for a 12-step sponsor to ask a "sponsee" (whatever) to show him private emails between the sponsee and his significant other?

I feel this is way over the line... and an invasion of my privacy. I can't imagine any legitimate counselor, therapist, psychologist, whatever, would ask a client something like that. And I've dealt with a lot of counseling/mental health professionals over the years, as a client and an employee. So I have a fair idea of what's considered ethical and what isn't.

This is one of my main beefs with 12-step... these totally untrained, unqualified yahoos presuming to give people life advice.

What do people think? Am I justified in being upset over this? I realize I am pretty much incapable of being objective about 12-step... but this honestly seems like going too far.

Since it's impossible to come up with a fake e-mail conversation about those 4 hippies that you and a friend killed in the desert back in the '80s, my advice is to throw this sponsor over the side.