Euro-English

[Iris]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the European Union rather

than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that

English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-

year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this

will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be

dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and

keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik

enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be

replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be

expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are

possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the

languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords

kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl

riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted

in ze forst plas.

--

"The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."

-Peter Drucker

[Msterbeau]

[AstralCrux]

Apparently, the kids are speaking German now then... That's how most of those blasted abbreviations look anyway.

It honestly looked like my dyslexic sister wrote that. I could understand it, but it looked aweful.

[TitsMcGee]

Reading that made my head hurt

[*Siren*]

Anyone have an aspirin?

[TygerLili]

There are people on this board whose writing makes that look like a grammar lesson...

[AstralCrux]

There are people on this board whose writing makes that look like a grammar lesson...

+5

[Simon Bar Sinister]

--

"The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."

-Peter Drucker

dood, u speld "difrint" rong

[taysteewonderbunny]

Where did the 'a's go? Why were they dropped in "year" (yer), "real" (reil), and "easy" (ezi)? Then, why does 'i' replace 'y' in some places and not others? The article doesn't say. And there is an '!' at the end of "where" in the fourth paragraph. Sorry. I really am an asshole. Er. Ashol. Yep. Zat's me. I don't mynd changes so long as zey ar konsistent.

[TitsMcGee]

Where did the 'a's go? Why were they dropped in "year" (yer), "real" (reil), and "easy" (ezi)? Then, why does 'i' replace 'y' in some places and not others? The article doesn't say. And there is an '!' at the end of "where" in the fourth paragraph. Sorry. I really am an asshole. Er. Ashol. Yep. Zat's me. I don't mynd changes so long as zey ar konsistent.

You crack me up

[Iris]

Yes, I also took note of the illogical conclusion to that. It was an old forward I dug up. Some rules were obviously omitted

[StormKnight (1)]

*restrains grammar nazee from rampaging across the thread for the sake of humor*

[Iris]

Oh no, please do indulge in your inner grammar Nazi...its fun to be rigid with language...teaches discipline with articulation.