Advice for talking to the opposite sex

[Eevee]

My advice.... Okay I have no advice at all.... I am just lucky to be with who I am... I seemed to attract the attention of a wonderful person by simply being myself. Then she saw my band play, and the attention turned even more affectionate. I still to this day have no technique or way that I go about talking to women.

I was honestly fairly flattered by you at the last DGN night when you complimented me. It took me off guard, but it was seriously a highlight of my night...probably partially because I wasn't expecting it.

Don't start the conversation by telling me how hot I am

Don't be creepy

Don't be needy or whiny

Don't be grabby

Don't be drunkenly incoherent

Don't start bitching about your ex

Be confident

Be polite

Smile

I agree with all these.

I honestly don't mean to...but I've been told by multiple people that when I dance at the club, I seem unapproachable. Like I don't want to be danced with. And, really, I often don't want to be danced with. I get asked every time I'm at CC (less often at Necto) to dance and 99% of the time I kindly refuse.

Generally I like when a guy just smiles. Not creepy stare. But a smile. Or an interested glance, even (mysterious... ). And if I can chat with him and get more smiles or laughs. And as long as he respects my personal space unless I make it obvious he can touch me...which I would probably show by touching his arm or something.

I'm trying to think of other things...I'll need to probably come back to this, haha!

[pomba gira]

Meditate on your animal self...quit 'beating your Id into submission'...Chicks dig Id.

(Note: the use of a period.)

Sound advice.

sorry - the body language question wasn't related to women, it was related to how men hold themselves confidently without coming across negatively, as it's been brought to my attention that i always come across as too indimidating/unapproachable...

Smile, dammit! I have the same problem... and I have to remind myself constantly to put on a friendly/approachable expression. Doesn't have to be a shit-eating grin... but softening your facial expression will convey that you're actually interested in other people. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to!

[Joey Deadcat]

Don't approach or talk to anyone - just lean against the wall, alone,cigarette in hand, gazing at the floor lost in thoughts or staring, forlornly, at the ceiling. Be strong and silent but with a hint of vulnerability.

Or

Sit at the end of a bar, alone, cigarette, lost in thoughts, indifferent to your surroundings, slight look of indignation on your face. Be strong and silent.

Or

Stand in the middle of a room, alone, cigarette in mouth, hands in pockets, eyes scanning your surroundings with an ambiguous look about you. Be dark and mysterious.

[Tyger]

3. This one is for the ladies: Can I please have one night at CC where I don't get groped by complete strangers in the ladies room who don't even ask for my consent to do so? I'm in the can for one reason only, and guess what? You aren't it! So for future reference, if you see me bouncing up and down in line in the bathroom, this is not a mating dance, it's the pee pee dance. Let me urinate in peace.

This is very true.

[*Siren*]

This is very true.

This happens to you too?

[phee]

I was honestly fairly flattered by you at the last DGN night when you complimented me. It took me off guard, but it was seriously a highlight of my night...probably partially because I wasn't expecting it.

Well you also probably knew it was honest, and most importantly that I didn't want anything from you...

In my observation if someone in a club setting is complimenting another.... usually they want something.....

[Msterbeau]

Well you also probably knew it was honest, and most importantly that I didn't want anything from you...

In my observation if someone in a club setting is complimenting another.... usually they want something.....

I want my head rubbed.

[Tyger]

This happens to you too?

There was this one time, someone got pretty close to doing it.

But I think it shouldnt just be in the bathrooms... Ive have it happen to me at other places too.

[Tyger]

I want my head rubbed.

~rubs head~

[Msterbeau]

~rubs head~

*Purrs*

[kat (1)]

Very good points indeed.

It would certainly be nice to have a "heads up" on things like that.

It can be 50/50 that knowledge you were referring to; what is clever and works with one woman, may piss off someone else.

I'm all for removing as much complication from the situation as humanly possible.

Which is why I spoke about being yourself.

If you're being yourself, and you "scare" someone away, perhaps she wasn't someone that would be good with you.

If you have to pretend to be someone other then yourself, that can lead to alot of other pretending about stuff and things, and the other person may end up Never knowing the Real You.

The one that you meet, that there is mutual attraction between the both of you, and more notably, the one who gets to know/see the Real You.......

and Doesn't "run away", that is the one to be with.

Yeah okay...where is this wonder-person ? Beats the fuck out of me I dunnno

I agree with this statement so I could not resist quoting it. Anyhow, yeah if someone does not accept you for YOU, holistically, than they are not the person intended for you to be with.

[Msterbeau]

If you're being yourself, and you "scare" someone away, perhaps she wasn't someone that would be good with you.

I missed this.. a very good point indeed.

I have online dating profiles up in a few places. I'm very particular about how I describe myself because I want to attract the right kind of person. There's absolutely no point in being something you're not if you have any intentions of having a long term relationship with the person you approach.

[Raev]

I would agree... "be yourself" is sort of generic...

^

[creatureofthenyte]

There's absolutely no point in being something you're not if you have any intentions of having a long term relationship with the person you approach.

Raev,

This is the thought I was previously trying to convey about being yourself.

[*Siren*]

I want my head rubbed.

Which one?

[Msterbeau]

Which one?

Are you seriously asking me this? YOU??? *Facepalm*

[Eevee]

Well you also probably knew it was honest, and most importantly that I didn't want anything from you...

In my observation if someone in a club setting is complimenting another.... usually they want something.....

Very true. Perhaps that is why I didn't mind it, lol

I dunno.

I don't really get hit on at the club, now that I think about it. Just get asked to dance sometimes and I kindly refuse. Or the random people with lame pick-up lines. Like when I went to Necto the last time I wore cat ears and got THE WORST pick-up lines, lmao

[phee]

Very true. Perhaps that is why I didn't mind it, lol

I dunno.

I don't really get hit on at the club, now that I think about it. Just get asked to dance sometimes and I kindly refuse. Or the random people with lame pick-up lines. Like when I went to Necto the last time I wore cat ears and got THE WORST pick-up lines, lmao

One can only imagine....

Thats the thing.... I found it comforting that while I felt very nervous and scared around beautiful women... one of them finally told me: Phee, we are just as frightened of you as you are of us....

[asphyxian_doll]

Eye contact.

If you can make it, hold it for about 2-3 seconds and SMILE goddammit!

(god such a turn on)

If you're interested in a woman, instead of staring, check for body language like Raev had suggested.

I usually smile and cock my head to the side, I like to approach but I tend to naturally pose a challenge...

Most of the time if a man picks up on my ques and approaches with confidence and composure I'm interested.

But If I'm not interested in him, I tend to back away, cross my arms, and look around me.

I don't have any trouble rejecting him.

If you want to look available ladies....remember, you will look available to MOST men, and you need to drop the nice girl "I don't want to hurt him" bullshit and learn to reject men (and women)

rejection is protection.

For THEM.

Who wants to waste their night talking to a broad that isn't even interested.

amirite?

Edited February 22, 2010 by asphyxian_doll

[Msterbeau]

amirite?

Fer realz.

[asphyxian_doll]

yo

furrill

[candyman]

See I have never used any sort of vocal approach with the ladies...it always been body language. I guess that has alot to do with the setting since the music tends to be loud at concerts. I have one easy approach...look for the girl that is too close to the mosh pit and she doesn't want to be there. All you do is put your arms around her WITHOUT touching her to keep her from getting into the fray. I can honestly say that 7 times out of 8 they take charge when the storm calms...the other time you get a very nice "thanks" which is just fine. In short you just have to rise above the dick and assholes out there...you can be a "bad boy" without being like those morons...

[pomba gira]

Don't respond to dating site profiles with something like this:

I MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR BUT YOU TRUN ME ON.I KNOW YOU ARE A NICE LOOKING AND DON,T NEED ME.

Edited February 22, 2010 by pomba gira

[phee]

Don't respond to dating site profiles with something like this:

I MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR BUT YOU TRUN ME ON.I KNOW YOU ARE A NICE LOOKING AND DON,T NEED ME.

Hey... no fair bringing up my old adds from when I was single.... *cries*

[freydis]

Hey... no fair bringing up my old adds from when I was single.... *cries*

Your spelling has certainly improved these days.

*runs*