Something is going to happen..

[Soulrev]

I don't know what, I don't know when, but soon something is going to happen in my life that will change things forever.

I'm all alone on a crusade going nowhere. There is nothing anyone can say or do to help me.. I'm all alone. I can't explain any further, and I won't. I just want all of you to know that life is just too fucking short. And I don't expect anyone to understand. Nobody understand me. Nobody ever will.

Like I said, I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe something great, maybe something terrible. Either way, what happens in the next week or two will determine everything that happens in my life from then on out. I don't know where I'm going with this post, but I just want to thank everyone for all of your help you've given me.

I want to ask one last favor from each and every one of you.. Please just pray for me or do whatever you do. I'm praying right now that God shows me the way. Praying that things in my life start getting better, for good. Because right now all I've been given is torment and torture.

I feel like God is just playing games with me.. Like he's up there right now saying "Watch this.. I'm going to make everything in Brian's life great, for a little while.. Then, I'm going to take it all away and laugh in his face.."

I know that's not what's going on, but that's how it feels. I'm losing it. Mentally, emotionally. I don't know what to do. I'm giving serious thought to finding a mental institution and checking myself in. Or maybe I just need to speak with a psychologist. I don't know. But we'll find out soon.

- Brian

[Lilith]

I honestly know where you are comming from. I have been in the same type of crap for the past few months and i too am getting to my witts end. Just when everything look like it is going to get better something fucks it all up.

This past wendsaday i was at the door step of a mental hosp, I did not go in, i just walked away and kept walking, i walked from 12 n dequindre to 10 n gratiot in flip flops, it rained on me the wind blew me all over and then i slept and slept and slpet, nothing has gtten better and i still wonder if i should have walked in side the hospital.

I have no advice or wonderful uplifting words i can just let you know i am in the same mental/ life boat and i will pray for you.

This sucks and i dont know how to fix it all.

lilith

Dear Lord,

please help us, help Brain(soulrev), Brian (lestat) and myself find our path, help give us strength to accomplish what we have to, to make our live happy and whole, let us have some relief from the pain and suffering we are going through. Give us the clarity to see where we need to change and help us make those changes. Helps us not hurt those we love while we are suffering and hurt. Grant us wisdom to make the right choices. give us a hint or a clue as to what is going on. None of understand this and none of us want to be in this phase of life. Please help it pass quickly and help us learn our lessons so we do not have to repeat any of this. Lord we can not handle this any more we all have people who depend on us and this is effecting them and they do not desreve it. God please help us fix what ever it is. I ask all this in you name Lord jesus Christ our savor. Amen.

[Brenda Starrr]

You know, if you need me....

[The_Dark]

Life deals us some pretty good hands sometimes. The problem is, we never know what game we are playing. Play what your dealt, it may be just what you need. Just remember that you have a lot of people cheering for you.

Mark

[Msterbeau]

This helps me... sometimes:

Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference. Simple but potentially quite powerful.

Also remember this: HALT

Hungry Angry Lonely Tired.

Don't make important decisions when these four are in play... stop and think.

That's all I have. I hope you both find the right path out of the scary places you seem to be in right now.

*HUG*

[Dollardave]

Maybe u should see a psychiatrist and get on some meds to lift u up some. Sounds like u have manic depressive disorder. Nothing to be ashamed of I see a shrink. My relationships and shit that I do is what drives me nuts.

[Soulrev]

Maybe u should see a psychiatrist and get on some meds  to lift u up some.  Sounds like u have manic depressive disorder.  Nothing to be ashamed of I see a shrink.  My relationships and shit that I do is what drives me nuts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No I've looked in to that several times, it's definitely not manic depression. It's just a lost teenager with a lot of hormones and emotions. Even though I am 20, I still see myself as a teenager.. I still have a lot to learn.

And my prediction was right, it's unfolding right now.. Things are starting to happen around me, but, I think it's going to be good.. Though, I'm not putting any hope into it. I've done all my rowing and now I will sit in my boat and go where it's going to take me.

It may be great, it may be good, but everything is going to be o.k..

I've begun a path to inner peace with my situations, so whatever happens, it will be fine.

Thanks all, for your support.

See ya at CC on Sat.

[Lilith]

Glad to see your are finding a way to cope, and that things are looking better.

:cheerful

lilith

[Homicidalheathen]

Baby your not alone. I am here for you and feel this way all of the time. Rai-linga on here may be able to help he runs Nature's Serentiy. Write him.

I don't know what, I don't know when, but soon something is going to happen in my life that will change things forever.

I'm all alone on a crusade going nowhere. There is nothing anyone can say or do to help me.. I'm all alone. I can't explain any further, and I won't. I just want all of you to know that life is just too fucking short. And I don't expect anyone to understand. Nobody understand me. Nobody ever will.

Like I said, I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe something great, maybe something terrible. Either way, what happens in the next week or two will determine everything that happens in my life from then on out. I don't know where I'm going with this post, but I just want to thank everyone for all of your help you've given me.

I want to ask one last favor from each and every one of you.. Please just pray for me or do whatever you do. I'm praying right now that God shows me the way. Praying that things in my life start getting better, for good. Because right now all I've been given is torment and torture.

I feel like God is just playing games with me.. Like he's up there right now saying "Watch this.. I'm going to make everything in Brian's life great, for a little while.. Then, I'm going to take it all away and laugh in his face.."

I know that's not what's going on, but that's how it feels. I'm losing it. Mentally, emotionally. I don't know what to do. I'm giving serious thought to finding a mental institution and checking myself in. Or maybe I just need to speak with a psychologist. I don't know. But we'll find out soon.

- Brian

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Daevion]

This helps me... sometimes:

Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference.  Simple but potentially quite powerful.

Also remember this:  HALT

Hungry Angry Lonely Tired.

Don't make important decisions when these four are in play...  stop and think.

That's all I have.  I hope you both find the right path out of the scary places you seem to be in right now. 

*HUG*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

very good advice

[Onyx]

Those are really hard years.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you they are the best years - they can sometimes be the worst, and personally I think things get way better a few years down the road when life is a bit more settled.

I do believe there is an intelligence guiding this universe. I think prayers do help, but I also think that God leaves some things up to us to decide. My attitude toward prayer has changed lately. I had given up on it for awhile, but I have been praying regularly lately and I just said a little prayer for you.

(((hugs)))

[torn asunder]

i read the title of this, and thought, "that's the beautiful thing about life - that something's going to happen!" something is always *going to happen*, that's how we know we're alive. the funny thing, tho, is that what seems to be the worst thing in the world that could happen to you might just be the best... the one thing that points you in the right direction in life - makes you stronger, starts you off on a new life-path, one where everything you need and want is waiting for you. it's all in how you look at things - remember,

"you'll see it when you believe it!" - wayne dyer