try to cope and didnt know where to put this

[Guest Megalicious]

How many times have I asked myself this question ... and how many times have I cried because I doubted myself......Did I love him?

shock, disbelief, and numbness.

The feelings of loss, are more intense and painful then i can remember.

Or maybe it just feels that way because i havent allowed myself to feel them in so long that I forgot how much it hurts.....

I use to ask myself this everyday ... for a very long time, and now i feel gulity ever second guessing my love ...

I just cant believe the last time i talked to him I told him what a fucking asshole he was.

thosse where my last words to him

thats what I have to live with

thats whats eating me up inside ...

there is no end ...

[Brenda Starrr]

=(

[Troy Spiral (13)]

[Onyx]

(((hugs))))

Seems we often say the ugliest things to those who matter most in our lives.

[kellygrrrrrl]

=(

We all make mistakes. I have said those words and asked myself, "How would I feel if today was the last day I ever saw him?" I try not to say those things anymore...sometimes it slips.

You cannot allow yourself to feel this way forever. YOU MUST forgive yourself. This is the 1st step to healing. Ask yourself, realistically, WAS he an asshole? At the time, in the moment, based on the circumstances, was he being an asshole? Is there truth to what was said?

Even if not, we all say things that we don't mean, but it is no reason to put any blame yourself. Easier said than done, but you have to forgive yourself 1st.

In any case, I hope you are OK. Hang in there!

[bean]

:tear *hugs*