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By Slogo · Posted
Iām going to backtrack to an incident that has filled me with anger, shame, fear, and depression. Those are the events of the morning of March 17th 2016. I often wonder if youāve ever thought about that morning. Iāve literally had nightmares related to it. After finding out REDACTED sex. We went back to your place. You tried kissing me. I pulled away. You tried again. I pulled away again. You then let out the now vomit inducing words ābut donāt you want meā. Feeling I had no choice I let out a barely audible āyesā. After which you climbed on top of me while I stared blankly at your closet. My thought was that if I looked as uninterested as possible then maybe you would recognize what was happening and would stop. That never happened so all I could do was hope it would be over as soon as possible. Ā Iām fairly confident that given your politics, if this happened to any other two people that you would agree that it was clearly non consensual. It also wasnāt the first time. It was just the time I remember most vividly. I recall this happening at least one other time, though Iām not as sure of the date. It took until November 2025 for me to fully explain it to a therapist. It was at that moment that she used a word to describe it that I hadnāt yet. That word was rape. More instances of me not being allowed to say ānoā. I may have doubted myself because of how long its been, but as it turns out it somewhat common with victims of sexual assault. Think of this every time you demand anything of me. I know support is going to REDACTED theoretically, but every time I stare at my paycheck its not lost on me that Iām giving 750 dollars a month to my rapist. Imagine if anyone else had to do that and tell me you wouldnāt be furious at the prospect. Ā Not only am I not going to be a doormat for you anymore, but Iām going to stop being silent about what happened. Donāt worry. I wonāt mention you by name, but I spent the past year trying to find anyone that could relate to my situation with no luck. It just so happens that situations like this arenāt brought up. Maybe due to lack of reporting. Maybe due to it not being taken seriously when it happens to a man. My hope is that one person can come across this and not feel as alone as Iāve felt. Ā Shots fired -
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