A lesson on Friends/people in general

[Lilith]

I have a story, it is not too current but with the threads about friends and people screwing others i thought telling my story and my thoughts on the subject might be helpfully. I choose to start a new thread as i can see where my story might prompt allot of talk and i don’t want to over ride any one else with my stuff.

"Beth" brought this weirdo guy "Bob" to my house ( she met him about three days before) and as i sat through the day listening to him and her talk i got freaked out, all they talked about was stealing stuff, the drugs they get in the BIG D for the stuff they stole and so on, (Ann never displayed this behavior before)well since i tend to freak out and go “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU”, allot on other people , i went against my better judgment and let them stay and tried so very hard not to be the weirdo goody too shoes.

Well later that day i have all 3 of my kids all ready to go (we are all in the living room) to the skate park with my self and them when Bob says something extremely loud about needing to get POT. Now my 10 yr old speaks up and says "hey, dude, shut up there's little kids in the room" I was then like WTF.

So trying not to go insane we head to the car (me n my kids in my car, Ann, bob and another guy in her car) and i start the "talk" with my kid only to find out this ass wipe had asked my 10 yr old (about 15 minutes after he was here) if he knew if it was okay to smoke pot in the house, followed by some other ramble i forgot due to a high WTF moment. I was like excuse me, and i got all psycho pissed, we never went to the skate park and when Ann n crew came to find out why i sent them all away till i knew i was not going to choke the fucker for having a talk with my 10 year old about weed.

Now they had this talk while Bob and my kid were out at the car getting this Mp3 player thing, my kid was going to help get more music on it. Well my kid was not able to get the new music so Bob was going to leave it here for Mr., L to work on. Well at about 1 am Ann comes to my house to get some of her stuff and this guys Mp3 thing, I explain to Ann everything this guy did and she just plain out don’t give a fuck about it, hell she even screwed bob about an hour after i sent them all away for doing this. Any how I talk with Ann let her know how i feel, that i can trust her with my kids now as i don’t feel she will look out for there best interest when they r with her and i inquire that if she really did care about the kids why she was not mad at BOB, i mean fuck he is 26 years old, he should know better and i think any good friend would just be appalled that this happened. Well she didn’t care all she cared about was this stupid mp3 thing, she was even going to go into my kids room at 1 am to look for it while my kid is sleeping. We told her we would look in the day time; any how we looked and could not find the damn thing, so now they all think we stole it. Well ya know what i did not steal it. I don’t know where it went, I think they guy grabbed it before he left and just lost it someplace or he was trying to get he attention off him and his Bad. I don’t know but I don’t have the mp3 thing, and as far as I know they all still think we stole it.

Ann has known me and my whole family for about 2 years; she has made mention many times how mature and honest my kid is and how he would have made a better boyfriend at 10 then most of the guys she knows at her age. Now she questioned my kid’s honesty by asking if we were sure Bob had this talk with him “are you sure he is not making it up?”, and she questioned my honesty by thinking I stole this guys stuff. How is she going to sit there and take this guy who she has only known for three days, has never had a job, and makes his living to buy drugs with stealing from stores, She was In the living room too when it all started and she knew this guy had to have said something, hell she should have checked him for openly and loudly saying random things about Pot in front of any of my kids. It hurts that she chooses this guys side over those whom she knows are upstanding and on the right side.

I give my Kid credit for standing up to a 26 yr old “man” , I am proud he knows better at 10 years old, I am proud he has a mind that thinks this may not be right for his little siblings to know about yet. My kid truly amazes me, and unfortunately he now knows way to much then he should ever really know at 10, omg the talks and questions ughh you just don’t know how much it terrified me to explain allot of this stuff.

I kick my self in the ass for going against my judgment and allowing this guy to enjoy his day here and for letting Ann and this incident to hurt me so much, I just thought way more of her then what I got.

I guess in a long winded sort of way I am trying to say…….

Friends, people, jobs, things, they all are in your life for a reason, once they have left weather it be on good or bad terms they were placed in your life to make you learn something. You may never realize it and the process can be very hurtful but once it is all over, you should look back and see what you can learn. You should never for get the lessons either or you are bound to repeat them. You should also be happy that there job in your life is done, and they are moving on to do there job with another person, be happy that they have fullfilled there purpose.

Friends will hurt you, the good one apologize and help you get over the hurt and they try no to hurt you again, those who do it for fun or just don’t care are never true friends, they are not worth you time and tears and pain and once you realize that it get easier to let those people go. You don’t need to know the reason why they hurt you, or why they don’t care that they did, all you need to know is that they did and they don’t care and that you don’t need that stuff in your life.

We all want to have allot of friends to help fulfill our lives, but remember a few good ones are better then a ton of people who just don’t care.

Keep your chins up and look to those who really care and love you.

lilith

[Msterbeau]

We all want to have allot of friends to help fulfill our lives, but remember a few good ones are better then a ton of people who just don’t care.

Keep your chins up and look to those who really care and love you.

lilith

Thanks for the story... It's too bad it's often too late before we realize that something unhealthy has passed through our lives.

'

There's a piece of writing that I have saved somewhere... It uses the anaolgy of shells on the beach as a metaphor for friends. Though there are many beautiful shells, you should keep only a few, because they are more precious if their are few...

I agree...

[Lilith]

I just had some after thoughts i wanted to add as a side note:

I dont care which druggs a person does, I on occasion do a few myself, but i am an adult, i repsect the kid factor and i just expect other people to do so as well, it just seems to be common sense to me.

I can even get over a friend who is basically true and just going through a really fucked up time (such as a sever addiction to druggs that make the person not be them selves) as long as they actually can admit to me in sober time they are truly sorry.

I just dont wnat any oen to think i am against everything cause i am not. I actually probally put up with too much crap befor i let go of any one for good.

I can get over mistakes or doing wrong things out of desperation,or the fact that not everyone can see the bad happening right in front of them but apologize and feel bad about it afterward, gesh jst say i am sorry i had never thought about it that way.

I dont think i mentioned it befor but Beth and Bob r no longer part of my life, in small ways at times Beth is as i had and probally still do have some of her things here, and i return them to her personally or i leave them on her door step.

there is allways a time and place for every one and everything, the key is to learn those time and places.

Also if you are going to do bad things, there is a better or a right way to do the bad things.

I dont know these are all just thoughts that i have running in my head about this.

lilith

[Lilith]

Thanks for the story...  It's too bad it's often too late before we realize that something unhealthy has passed through our lives.

'

There's a piece of writing that I have saved somewhere...  It uses the anaolgy of shells on the beach as a metaphor for friends.  Though there are many beautiful  shells, you should keep only a few, because they are more precious if their are few...

I agree...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i like the metaphor, The advice about people and there purpose being fullfilled also came from a metaphor i heard once, i never can remebr the actual metaphor but i allways remebr the lesson it taught me.

Yes it was very unhealthy and honestly as parent i fell like i letthe kids down some how, i know i should not as it was not totally my fault but the lesson i learned and the feeling of letting htem down will keep this from happening again, and i no longer care if i look like a weirdo goody too shoes, screw that if ya want to be my friend, then you can respect that about me and like it cause it keeps me n my kids and most likley you too at times safe.

I learned allot that day!

lilith

[Vivian]

Friends will hurt you, the good one apologize and help you get over the hurt and they try no to hurt you again, those who do it for fun or just don’t care are never true friends, they are not worth you time and tears and pain and once you realize that it get easier to let those people  go.  You don’t need to know the reason why they hurt you, or why they don’t care that they did, all you need to know is that they did and they don’t care and that you don’t need that stuff in your life.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

this strikes close to the heart. Words of wisdom for any aching heart. Thanks, this has helped me realize that.

[Lilith]

this strikes close to the heart. Words of wisdom for any aching heart. Thanks, this has helped me realize that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your Welcome, i am very glad this helped.

Huggs to u

lilith

[cptdeath]

all pain is meant to teach

most people on this site i've encountered have gone down the same roads as me and you.

as far as friendship goes.

I don't now wear to start theres alot to say

you'll have to ask to hear it i don't want to type so much right now.

[torn asunder]

in general, people are who/what they are, and there's no sense in lamenting that fact. one must assume the other will watch out for his/her own best interest, for the sake of "survival of the species".

(damn, too many beers, i'm out of things to say...)

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Unfortunately people, even the best people can be inconsiderate and overly selfish. Hard to seperate the people that are basicly beyond current hope of being positive influences, and the people that just have had momentary lapses in judgement but are caring, sensitive and worth your emotional support.

Once your clear on it though, as unpleseant as it may be you have to back away from the uncaring vampire types. Would be nice if there were less of them out there. =(

[cptdeath]

Unfortunately people, even the best people can be inconsiderate and overly selfish.  Hard to seperate the people that are basicly beyond current hope of being positive influences, and the people that just have had momentary lapses in judgement but are caring, sensitive and worth your emotional support. 

Once your clear on it though, as unpleseant as it may be you have to back away from the uncaring vampire types.  Would be nice if there were less of them out there.  =(

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:fear ya know, I allways hated vampires. and dark elves too

but vampires are like vermin to me. I fear police much more. Vampires we'll fight any day for the sake of I'd feel better about myself as a person. vampires I've allways despised. vampires are lower then vanerial diseases.

of course i mean like ann rice vampires. people are much cooler :fear