Kids Say The Darndest Things.....

[Brenda Starrr]

Today, Sierra called me from her father's girlfriend's house. She was quite irritated. This is how our conversation went:

Me: "Hello Sweet Pea. What's up?"

Sierra: "I'm pissed."

*fighting the urge to laugh*

Me: "You know that isn't appropriate for you to say."

Sierra: "Well, my father's a fucking jerk!!! He's mean as shit."

*Trying real hard not to laugh and/or pee myself*

Ian (in background): "Dad'a a fucking loser."

Me: "I'm going to ask that the two of you please refrain from speaking like that. I will see you when you get home."

At least they know their dad's a jerk, even if they shouldn't have said it THAT way.

Tell us, what have you heard from your kids that just blew you away? If you don't have your own special little cursers, did you hear something that someone else's kids said that just got you laughing?

[soothsayer]

When my daughter was not quite four her and I would walk to the corner store for ice cream. On one of these trips I asked her if she wanted me to carry her and she said "no thanks daddy" and we walked about 50 feet from my front door before she stopped and looked up to me saying, " Dad will you carry me, my shoes are tired." I'll never forget that as long as I live.

[Msterbeau]

When my daughter was not quite four her and I would walk to the corner store for ice cream. On one of these trips I asked her if she wanted me to carry her and she said "no thanks daddy" and we walked about 50 feet from my front door before she stopped and looked up to me saying, " Dad will you carry me, my shoes are tired." I'll never forget that as long as I live.

My kids have each tossed out some hilarious ones...

One time I was irritated (To say the least) with another motorist. Under my breath I cursed him and said "fucker". My older daughter (Who was 5 at the time) chimes in: YEAH, FUCKER!!! I bit my tongue trying not to laugh before I told her that she probably shouldn't use word like that. :whistling

When they were real little they would butcher words...

My favorite: Ketchup became Chep-up. :laughing

[soothsayer]

That's funny Msterbeau, it reminded me of the time my daughter caught me checking out some woman at a gas station. As we left she said to me, " I'm telling my mom your looking at a woman." I then said to her, " I'm very sure your mom knows I do this and she's ok with it." :laughing

[paradox]

my kid wont swear. she wont even say darn, or suck. its funny! :laughing

[damagedangel]

Kacey says, "I can't say fuck so I say pickles or darn it"

[Msterbeau]

my kid wont swear.  she wont even say darn, or suck.  its funny! :laughing

My little one will scold anyboday saying anything she thinks is bad... :laughing

[Homicidalheathen]

My kids you to say 'noffinnon' for nothing when they were little, it's called twin speak. Oh and 'behind the outside' for the backyard.

[JaneDead]

my daughter who is almost two was being really slow and so i kept saying "come on! come on" to her... so she says "alright.... chilllll" and it was soooo funny the way she said it.

the other day i was on the phone with my husband and i told him how cell phone was fucked up and i think zoe did it. so then my other daughter says something and i repeat to my husband "oh she said zoe was the one to fuck with the phone" she then says "no i said zoe FUCKED up the phone. FUCKED." correcting me on how i said the wrong form of fuck you know. i was laughing and my husband says "oh real nice honey" cuz i was laughing at that. sorry but i can't help but laugh when a little kid says "fuck" for some reason.

my kids say funny things every day. i should write down the stuff they say because it is really very funny.

my favorite one with my son was when he was younger and he said:

wanna here a knock knock joke?

i said sure.

he said "ding dong"

so i said "it's a knock knock joke, you knock on the door you don't ring the bell" and he cracked up. i thought it was really funny that he got it and he had joke day at school after that and told that as his joke.

[gothicmom]

I always told my kids that bad words are for when you are older. When aymee turned....5 i think, she came up to me and said "since I'm 5 now, can I say bad words?"

I bought the kids those lunchables with cheese and crackers, thinking I was Mother of the Year!!! MIchael came up to me, put the cheese on the desk and said " this cheese is unacceptable!"

The whole family was sick most of last winter. We were having a day when were feeling ok and decided to walk around the mall and then have chinese. While we were eating michael put his head on my arma nd said " MOM. I feel like crap!"

[paradox]

My little one will scold anyboday saying anything she thinks is bad...  :laughing

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:laughing

ditto

[Brenda Starrr]

Tonight, we were looking for new work clothes for me, and Sierra wanted to go to DSW Show Warehouse. I refuse to go there inless I have a couple hundred bucks on me, so I said no.

She got in the car with me to leave the mall, and pouted. I told her that she needed to stop, as this was something that I had no control over. She looked at me and said:

"All I wanted to do was try on some Goddamned shoes."

[The_Dark]

My son and I were driving along one day and laying in the road.. well.. most of it was a smear.. was a cigar deer. Cigar deer are the ones that get hit by tractor trailers.. that get stuck in the wheels...

the ones that kinda smear.. and roll up like cigars... and my son says "Dad, that... that is some fucked up shit." and I replaied "Yep." and lost it. damn near went in the ditch I was laughing so hard. Then I biffed him up side the head.

[Msterbeau]

Biff? :laughing

Just after I moved into my current place, I was bringing my daughters here for the first time. We were getting close and my older one asks, "Are we there yet?" in an innocent voice. I say, "No, not yet." 20 seconds later, "Are we there NOW?" Me: "No sweetie, very soon" Then I hear a little giggle.... "How about now daddy? " Then she bursts out laughing.... Seems she caught onto my habit of saying "Are we there yet?" :whistling

[The_Dark]

A biff is a mild wack up side the head with no real force. No pain involved, but a really big "What are you thinking?"

[Msterbeau]

A biff is a mild wack up side the head with no real force. No pain involved, but a really big "What are you thinking?"

I know... No one uses that term anymore.. I thought it was funny.

[pomba gira]

Back when I was subbing for the younger kids (k-4) at my current school, I took third graders to the gym for recess one day. At this time I wore full makeup to school every day- foundation, powder, elaborate eyeshadow, the works (trust me, that didn't last long). So on this particular day I have a hot flash, & am standing there pouring sweat tryna supervise these kids. One little girl comes up to me & says, "Wow, Mama Hilary, you're really sweating a lot!". So I start to reply yes, but that's a personal remark & maybe not the most polite thing to say... only to be interrupted by her observing, "All your makeup's gonna melt & run off your face!" Fortunately teachers get lots of practice in straight-face-keeping...

[gothicmom]

I picked up a Dick and Jane book at the library for michael to read. So we are going along and he comes to the word "Dick" . We sound it out then he says "D-i-ck, Dick, Dick, Dicky, Dickhead!!!"

[saechalyn]

When I was a teenager I'd go on vacation with this family I babysat for. One night at a very crowded, rather classy restaurant, the little girl (who was 5, and very proud that she had just learned the names of certain body parts) announced to our waitress (and most of the restaurant):

There are six vaginas at our table, and only two penises!!!!!

She'll be graduating from high school this year, and would be furious if she knew I shared that with you all.

[gothicmom]

When aym was about 2 we were walking around the mall. bishop had her on his shoulders. We were in a very quiet store, no music playing, and she let out a little "tooot" then laughed and said very loudly "hehehehe! Daddy I just farted on your neck!"

For some reason my kids always felt the need to tell the world they just farted!

[Daevion]

When I was a teenager I'd go on vacation with this family I babysat for.  One night at a very crowded, rather classy restaurant, the little girl (who was 5, and very proud that she had just learned the names of certain body parts) announced to our waitress (and most of the restaurant):

There are six vaginas at our table, and only two penises!!!!!

She'll be graduating from high school this year, and would be furious if she knew I shared that with you all.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

rofl!! :laughing

[Homicidalheathen]

These are so good they should be included in a book someplace..... :grin