Sestina

[holliwood66]

3:00 am can’t sleep but it’s not thirst

or hunger eyes wide I begin to see colors

like confetti or faces writhing in pain

or others seem to smirk, or to laugh

or are tricks of the clock, a soft glowing rose

that won’t wither or die.

I went to bed before the moon chanced to die

It is cold and expansive here and I thirst

For what though? Hah! - and he is all thorns and no rose

. (It takes time for people to show true colors)

This is a cliche’ but don’t laugh,

This simple line has caused much pain

I remember how I met him, and the memory is pain-

lul. Now it is neatly wrapped up, and left to die.

If you would have told last year where I’d be now, I’d laugh

and say you need another drink, you seem to have a powerful thirst.

Instead I have to lie here and watch dawn creep staining sky colors

A field of black cloth washed in rose

And think of the last time I lay watching dawn rose

Back when there was none of this type of pain

And the strength and the gravity of those colors

So satisfying I’d have been happy to die

just then, and everything was an outward press and thirst

for new experience, and it was easy to laugh

Yes I used to do it for no reason: laugh

And no need to be reminded of neglected sleep by digital rose

Or to lie here unsatisfied but feeling no thirst

Or desire, no fear, no anger, no hope, no pain

Not wanting to live, but not wanting to die

Nothing but melted plaster colors

and I want to be charmed by those colors

I want to not be too old to feel wonder, to laugh

so hard I I feel am going to die

to enjoy by whatever name the rose

and scorn the thorns and scoff at pain

and have plain water quench my thirst

I thought I knew how to laugh

but that laugh rose from pain.