Bittersweet memories

[Onyx]

I have a lot of bittersweet memories of places and activities (mostly dorky geeky ones because I'm like that, but still) I am realizing I avoid activities that remind me of past loves and good times. Gawd, I've been so hurt I've even avoided an entire city.

I've got to overcome this tendency because it's prettty stupid for one thing to give up things and places I love, plus I just need to get over it already. I admire those who seem to do this so effortlessly. I suppose I wasn't always so fragile. Maybe it's built up over the years - I don't know.

[paradox]

I have a lot of bittersweet memories of places and activities (mostly dorky geeky ones because I'm like that, but still) I am realizing I avoid activities that remind me of past loves and good times.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

im the exact opposite. if im in the area of such a place, i often have the urge to drive/stop by, just because.

:fear

[Head Wreck]

talking to a guy who kept an old datsun on the unused driveway of our house (yes we have two. arent i special) for years afterwards because of sentiment

[Msterbeau]

I've become aware of my own (sometimes extreme) sensitivities by watching my children and realizing that I possess some of those traits too. We're all very different in some respects Onyx... It's part of who you are, better to embrace it then judge it as "stupid" or "silly". It may mean some aspects of life aren't much fun, but it also means other parts might be more fun and joyful then most people will ever experience...

My $.02

[torn asunder]

i've been actively trying to change my memories of those kinds of places by creating new, fun experiences to "replace" the old... it's not easy, but for me, it's been well worth it!

[Black Sunday9]

I have done both, avoided places because of past friends/girlfriends/whatever and I have also visited places for nostalgia's sake. I don't know which is more healthy though, I wish I could be of more help.

[saechalyn]

I also avoid places/things that remind me of the past or things that hurt me, but I see no reason to get over it. If something hurts me, I do what I can to avoid it...because life hurts enough without me helping it along. Besides the only way I ever get over things is to give it time...and when that doesn't work, oh well.

[Homicidalheathen]

Yah I think I am too soft hearted too...oh don't let it get out it might ruin my rep! Ha! Lately I haven't listened to any music really because I am heart broken and it all sounds like love and sex stuff.

I really wish I wasn't like this but how does one change one's heart?

If you figure that out let me know or write a book....I will so buy it. :erm

[Lilith]

I am one of those people who no matter what memory or thought or what ever is attached to the place and weather or not i want to visit it again Life will force me to go back for some reason that is not undermy control. Its like life just likes to throw it all back in my face no matter how hard i try to forget. When this happens i try to suffer through what ever it is i have to do now and try to reattach the new memory to the place. Sometimes it works and soemtimes i end up with mixed feelings. Its hard, but i try to take what is given to me and make the best out of it. If you are looking to change then try in what ever way works for you, if you are trying to understand why you have those feelings, i have no answer. I hardly understand my self some times.

Lilith

[Nienna]

You and I seems to have alot of parallel emotions my dear! I also tend to attach sadness or hurt to places, things, especially music. It makes things hard. I find myslef afraid to become involved with anyone involved with things I enjoy, because I feel like getting hurt is inevitable and then it may be ruined for me. *Hugs* Hang in there.

[Onyx]

You and I seems to have alot of parallel emotions my dear! I also tend to attach sadness or hurt to places, things, especially music. It makes things hard. I find myslef afraid to become involved with anyone involved with things I enjoy, because I feel like getting hurt is inevitable and then it may be ruined for me. *Hugs* Hang in there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, I can definitely identify with a lot of feelings you've expressed, and I guess this is the price of allowing yourself to get really close to another human being.

I'm trying to find a way to just deal with my emotions and make myself go out -- it's gotten to the point where I rarely leave my apartment anymore.

[Nienna]

I'm trying to find a way to just deal with my emotions and make myself go out  -- it's gotten to the point where I rarely leave my apartment anymore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know that when I was going through this it was really helpful to go out and see people and do things. Sitting alone with your own head when you're super depressed is really bad. I find it magnifies everything. You'll never heal if you don't let yourself.