Mid-Life

[gothicmom]

This is a cute e-mail I received today. I thought some may enjoy this!!

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a

> great

> time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great

> menopause

> will be....

>

> Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share

> them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just

> pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

>

> Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us

> plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

>

> In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no

> longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

>

> Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see

> your rear without turning around.

>

> Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the

> only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

>

> Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top

> and

> scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

>

> Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're

> sitting

> on our biggest ones.

>

> Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and

> think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

>

> In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain

> is water.

>

> Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand

> McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of

> Wisconsin.

>

> Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the

> "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice

> cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

>

> But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We

> realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved

> ones

> make the journey worthwhile.

>

> Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you

> had

> way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the

> wisdom

> and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

>

[Brenda Starrr]

Funny....

I was just shampooing my carpet and thinking that I'm turning 40 next week. Do I worry about a mid-life crisis or not?

[Steven]

Funny....

I was just shampooing my carpet and thinking that I'm turning 40 next week. Do I worry about a mid-life crisis or not?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

only 40??? sheesh, I'm right behind you babe......(aint that when you heit yoru sexual peak by the way???)

Steven

[saechalyn]

Funny....

I was just shampooing my carpet and thinking that I'm turning 40 next week. Do I worry about a mid-life crisis or not?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No way! 40 just means you're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway :grin

[Brenda Starrr]

only 40???  sheesh, I'm right behind you babe......(aint that when you heit yoru sexual peak by the way???)

Steven

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yup.

No way!  40 just means you're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what I'm saying....

[TomCat]

I guess I'm past mid-life, I'll be lucky to make 60...shit fuck son of a bitch...depressing thought.