Female speak translated

[soothsayer]

A female friend of mine sent this too me. No killing the messanger - I did not write this. I just posted it here for others to read.

~ Female speak translated ~

Phrase/Word: Compromise

Meaning: The act of giving a woman everything she wants in exchange for silence/ acquiessence/acknowledgement/sex.

Phrase/Word: “Do you ever think about your ex?”

Translation: “I am giving you a chance to end our relationship.”

Phrase/Word: “Do you think she’s pretty?”

Translation: “Do you hate her as much as I do?”

Phrase/word: "Does this make me look fat?"

Translation: "I'm setting you up."

Phrase/Word: Dr. Phil

Meaning: Queen of the Chick-speak Nation

Phrase/Word: Everything

Meaning: What a woman wants

Phrase/Word: Girls night out

Meaning: A night, during which a woman will put on the sluttiest clothing she owns and spend hours putting on makeup, in which a woman will disappear in along with her other scantily clad friends to undisclosed locations. Any inquiry of details concerning said night, before or after the fact, will result in a minimum of one hour’s discussion of trust in a relationship as well as deprivation of sex for an indefinite period of time.

Phrase/Word: Good Enough

Meaning: What nothing is.

Phrase/Word: Guys night out

Meaning: A night, during which men will put on their most comfortable clothing and spend no time at all enhancing personal appearance, in which a man will disappear to along with his other comfortably dressed friends to a location fully discussed and planned ahead of time. Any resistance to a woman’s inquiry about details concerning the night, before or after the fact, will result in a minimum of one hour’s discussion of trust in a relationship as well as deprivation of sex for an indefinite period of time

Phrase/Word: “He’s just an old buddy of mine.”

Translation: “Somebody I could have fucked/ tried to fuck and failed/ wanted to fuck but I actually liked the girl he was with and decided not to screw up their relationship for my own gain."

Phrase/Word: Ho

Meaning: She's fucked some guys I wanted to fuck but couldn't.

Phrase/Word: “How about you buy me a drink?”

Translation: “I'm pretending to like you but I've got my eye on someone else and maybe you're cute enough to make him jealous.”

Phrase/Word: “I like being an independent woman.”

Translation: “Don't question what I do or where I go or who I go out with ever and still give me money when I ask.”

Phrase/Word: “I could be wrong.”

Translation: “I could be wrong... but I was born a woman, so chances are- it's the dirty smelly MAN who is wrong..”

Phrase/Word: “I hate jealous guys.”

Translation: “I like to get drunk and flirt with everyone in the bar when we go out, but it will hurt my feelings if you don't step up and defend my honor.”

Phrase/Word: “I have a headache.”

Translation: “Not tonight, don't bother to try.”

Phrase/Word: “I like dangerous men.”

Translation: “spend money on me.”

Phrase/Word: “Im addicted to the internet!”

Translation: “internet whore.”

Phrase/Word: “Im a very sexual person.”

Translation: “I use sex to get what I want.”

Phrase/Word: “I'm down to earth.”

Translation: “I read that somewhere and it sounded like a good way to trick guys into liking me.”

Phrase/Word: “Its not you, its me.”

Translation: “Its you.”

Phrase/Word: “I think we should both go on a diet.”

Translation: “Your getting a little soft, fatty.”

Phrase/Word: “I trust her.”

Translation: “I trust her... to be the slut I know she is and try and fuck my man.”

Phrase/Word: “I trust you.”

Translation: “I trust you... to try and fuck anything that will lay still for 10 minutes, so I’ll watch you like a hawk.”

Phrase/Word: “It’s that time of the month.”

Translation: “It’s that time of the month... when I can use menstruation as an excuse to say or do anything I want.

Phrase/Word: “I understand sports”

Translation: “Liar or closet lesbian”

Phrase/Word: “I want a divorce.”

Translation: “I want half of everything you own.”

Phrase/Word: Jerk

Meaning: A man I would like to fuck, preferrably in front of the man I'm dating/ engaged to/ married to whose pissed me off."

Phrase/Word: “Let’s just be friends.”

Translation: “You're my emergency fuck in case the guy I really like turns me down."

Phrase/Word: Loyalty

Translation: " Nebulous indeterminate leverage word used to keep the man faithful. Easily discarded when ever someone she wants to fuck comes along."

Phrase/Word: “No one understands me.”

Translation: “Ask me what's wrong so I can cry and wail and whine on your shoulder then walk off with some other guy.”

Phrase/Word: Money

Meaning: "What the man owes me"

Phrase/Word: Perfect

Meaning: What she is

Phrase/Word: Period

Meaning: Excuse that can not be refuted under penalty of death

Phrase/Word: Prick

Meaning: Any man who has proven her wrong

Phrase/Word: Right

Meaning: What she always is, and you never are

Phrase/Word: Sarcasm

Meaning: The way anything that was derogatory about her was said

Phrase/Word: Seperation

Meaning: Opportunity for her to fuck all the guys she's kept in retainer (See: let's be friends) and still maintain a feeling of security because she knows you are too much of pussy-whipped baby to do the same for fear of loosing her.

Phrase/Word: Sex

Meaning: Leverage.

Phrase/Word: “She’s my best friend.”

Translation: “The rare other woman I don't hate because she doesn't threaten my position.”

Phrase/Word: “She’s so ugly!”

Translation: She’s prettier than me.

Phrase/Word: Smartass

Translation: Any man who makes a valid point

Phrase/Word: “Some things have got to change!”

Translation: “YOU have got to change!”

Phrase/Word: Expensive

Meaning: "Buy it for me."

Phrase/Word: “We need to talk.”

Translation: “You need to shut up and listen to me complain.”

Phrase/Word: “What do you want for Valentines Day?”

Translation: “What price should I double when evaluating how much money you should/will spend on me for Valentines Day?

Phrase/Word: Whore

Meaning: She’s prettier than me.

Phrase/Word: Wrong

Meaning: What men always are.

Phrase/Word: “You act just like my ex!”

Translation: “You're being rational and smart, so I need to knock you down a peg by comparing you to the last asshole I dated/slept with/was engaged to.”

Phrase/Word: “You aren’t my type.”

Translation: “You don't make enough money for my spending needs.”

Phrase/Word: “Your love is all I need.”

Translation: “You are totally trained.”

Phrase/Word: “You’ve changed.”

Translation: “You’ve quit putting up with my shit!”

[JaneDead]

you sure do get a lot of these emails don't you?

[JaneDead]

and i am glad i don't know any females like this because i would not get their language.

[phee]

:cheerful :cheerful

[Homicidalheathen]

My man thought this was funny :cheerful

[Killer_Bunnie]

perhaps now I will start to understand other women. They scare me, but it would be nice to at least try to figure them out. I'm to tomboy for my own good.

[Vater Araignee]

goes with WOMENGLISH TRANSLATED

[soothsayer]

They do fit together.

[paradox]

:laughing

[DarkVampire]

Coolness

[Dollardave]

Phrase/Word: “What do you want for Valentines Day?”

Translation: “What price should I double when evaluating how much money you should/will spend on me for Valentines Day?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I got nailed on this one buying a full karats worth of diamonds set in gold this last year. Anyone wanna ever see this horrendous downfall in my finances just ask when u see me.