In the Dark

[unchaste]

Okay, I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger. Nothing profound(or even good, for that matter), just teen angst kind of stuff. I sort of grew out of it, and nothing really inspired me anymore. Until now, that is. Please bear with me, I'm way out of practice. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

In the Dark

I took off my clothes last night

And got into bed

In the dark

Memories of you

Still fresh in my mind

Your seed still drying

Inside my thighs

All alone in the dark,

Wrapped up

In the blanket that we'd lain on

And made love

(the only real love

I've ever known)

In the dark,

I could suddenly smell

The sweet scent of your skin

Still emanating off mine

And the blanket we'd lain on

And made love

Once again, I was in your arms

Looking into your loving eyes

Tasting your sweat and your tears

As they gently rained on my face

(I never knew that love

Could be so beautiful)

In the dark

I reached out to touch you

Only to find myself

Still alone

And though I wept,

though my heart ached

just to be near you,

I smiled

Through my tears

I smiled as I realized

My empty black hole heart

Had ben brought to life

By your touch

And your gentle kisses

Have awakened in me

An impossible joy

And long into the night

I wept and I smiled

Just because I could smell you

On the blanket we'd lain on

And made love

In the dark.

[Guest Game of Chance]

Not bad. You definitely paint a picture.

[paradox]

i think you did a good job.

however, id suggest you drop the parathesis. i dont think they work. do you think that those thoughst/emotions are paranthetical? ie, not important to the main narrative?

[the eternal]

Beautiful