Ever have an unwanted crush??

[honeymustard02]

OK There is this guy at work that I've been talking to since I started like a year and a half ago.

These last few months, his like for me has gone through the roof. He's a big flirt with everyone so I didn't think anything of it by playing right back. I'm like that, I always have been. I love to get a reaction out of guys. For a while that's what he was doing to me. Lately he's been kind of pushing the limit and now I am worried.

He's a nice guy and he just split with his girl so I'm thinking he's kind of putting me in her place for attention.

I have a boyfriend and I would never cheat on him, but this is a sore spot with him. He's friends with this guy also so I don't know what to do.

I don't want to stomp all over this guy but his flirting is going a little beyond that.

Any ideas to get the point across that I'm not that way without pissing him off?

[Lilith]

OK There is this guy at work that I've been talking to since I started like a year and a half ago.

These last few months, his like for me has gone through the roof. He's a big flirt with everyone so I didn't think anything of it by playing right back. I'm like that, I always have been. I love to get a reaction out of guys. For a while that's what he was doing to me. Lately he's been kind of pushing the limit and now I am worried.

He's a nice guy and he just split with his girl so I'm thinking he's kind of putting me in her place for attention.

I have a boyfriend and I would never cheat on him, but this is a sore spot with him. He's friends with this guy also so I don't know what to do.

I don't want to stomp all over this guy but his flirting is going a little beyond that.

Any ideas to get the point across that I'm not that way without pissing him off?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I hope for the best for you wish i had more experience with this sort of thing. The only thing i have that is close would be a guy at work, a customer and non friend or anything more, who found out Lestat and i were having some issues, after he found out he stepped up the Compliment and would lightly touch my back and try to hold on to me, I finally had to tell him to stop that he could not touch me and he was making me uncofertable. After I told him he stopped commin in the bar. I was more then happy.

Perhaps pull back your own flirts, take your own Comments back to a very casual light friends type of thing, and then talk up your boyfriend allot. Talk about he wonderful dinner, the great Walk, the awsome thing he did for you etc...... try to be subtle but very clear.

Ofcourse i would saw just be upfront, clear and honest but being that it is a freind of your boyfriend this makes this so defficult to handle.

[Homicidalheathen]

OH I just come right out and say whats on my mind something like, Heh heh I like flirting I have always been a flirt its fun, but I never ever cheat yah know........but say it with a sweet smile.

[Fierce Critter]

Sigh. I've had a few. And always really, really nice, but incredibly geeky guys. You know - the guy with encephalitis who brings the department mail, that sort of thing. Guys I was never interested in 'cause I just would have swallowed them whole - I need a guy with more confidence & "in your face" ability.

I just never returned their advances. Kept it businesslike and tried to look hard like I was doing my work when they'd come around. That sort of thing.

I think the suggestion of talking up another boyfriend is a good one - even if you have to make stuff up.

Good luck.

[Ginevra]

A simple statement of "I don't socialise outside of work" would usually be enough but since you know the guy outside of work, that makes it more difficult.

You could try the softer approach and "wean" him and simply treat him like a co-worker and nothing more. Do absolutely nothing to encourage him at all. Beyond that, sitting down and explaining to him that you're in a committed relationship and that a little flirting happens sometimes but it *never* goes any further than that. You're happy in your relationship (and even if you're not, for this scenario, you are) and you wouldn't change a thing.

[honeymustard02]

Thank you for the advice I think I'm going to just back off and see if he takes the hint. If that doesn't work I'll move to something for foward.

[Daevion]

This might sound lame and boring but I never date people I work with...though in the past I've flirted with co-workers before, though few and far between, but it never really went past the harmless flirting aspect. I pretty much avoid getting close to people I work with.

[honeymustard02]

It's kind of hard not to because there is a small crew of us and everyone has pretty much been there for a long time.

And I worked there first and my boyfriend started there just because there was nothing else he could find.