Opinion needed...........

[Lilith]

Who would find it in appropiate to give an 8 year old girl the following products:

*The essence of pure romance ~kiss refreshing Body splash with pheromones

*Pure Romance ~ Sensations Edible Massage Lubricant

*The essence of pure romance~ Glow shimmering body silk

*Pure Romance PArties ~ Aura Sensual Massage oil

The above is stated Clearly on the bottle. They all come from pure romance

Just wondering if i am the only one who would find this a bit inappropiate and i wonder the reasons why you would think it is inappropiate or not.

[soothsayer]

Who would find it in appropiate to give an 8 year old girl the following products:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Someone with dementia would find it appropriate but other than that not anyone with good common sense. Why do you ask?

[Marblez]

Perhaps the giver could be an illiterate person? And thought the girl would like the pretty bottles?

[Msterbeau]

Some corporation that could care less about our children's welfare certainly would....

[Lilith]

I have considered both options stated already, But when i think them and the whole situation over clearly I am almost confident the giver had a full understanding of what they were giving.

Okay this is what happen, Last week My mother in law gives "R" a bottle of the shimmer body silk and the edible lubricant, while the giving was taking place It was mentioned about the oil being edible, I took the edible oil and just took it as a silly mistake but nothing to get upset about. THen yestarday she picked the kids up for pizza and brought them home. Later lestat goes to take a hsower and walks past "r's" room and i smells like a whore house so he investigates and finds NEw Products The body splash and Sensual Massage oil. Now i know Linda can read and the dementia might be a possibality but if she thought enough to mention the fisrt set was edible dont ya think ther would have been a thought of this might not be okay.

I just am so confused by this and have told "R" that when ever she is given anything she should show it to us first to see if we think it is right for her to have, which i am sure sooner or latter will turn in to Well Your mom will just take it and use it for herslef"

I am not against "R" using or recieving adult type of skin care products butthese were manufactured with SEX in mind not healthy skin. And i am not too certian i am okay with my daughter weariing something with Pheromones right now I mean fuck she is 8 years old and if they have started to be produced on her own then she dont need any more and i certianly dont want some perv being attracted to her because of some unkown Pheromone scent.

I ma just dumb founded by this, not really mad just more of a What the hell was she thinking?

[soothsayer]

I'm staritng to think that Lynda might be doing these things to upset you. Maybe I'm reading to much into it but come on, no 8 y.o. should have sexual products.

I don't care what others think but an 8 y.o. girl in NOT old enough to start thinking about sex or using products designed for adults.

[Lilith]

I am also asking because i think it would be the right thing to do to plainly state in an email that i dont think this is appropaite but i have been told to let it go as well, I guess i am just so tired of letting things go and if she did not take the time to read the bottle or if she is loosing it then some one needs to point it out to her or her DOCs or something. It oucld be a silly over sight but its not one i thin should go un mentioned I mean this stuff was made for SEX not an 8 year old girl, and the bottle are really not that pretty actually kinda plain.

"R" alos mentioned she has lotion at grandmas (which i have seen, it hand lotion on the expensive side) and Grandma would not let her bring it home but yet grand ma gives her things from a Home party in which if children are even in the home and i am talking about an infant or little ones who are tucked safley in bed asleep the home owner and the Demonstarter could get in some major trouble or atleast that's what i was told the last time i went to one.

[soothsayer]

You are the parent and should just ask her a) did she read the bottle? b) if so, why would she think it ok?

Maybe let her know you would appretiate it if she checked with you first with gifts that may seem different. If this Lynda has any maturity she will see your pov.

[Lilith]

I'm staritng to think that Lynda might be doing these things to upset you. Maybe I'm reading to much into it but come on, no 8 y.o. should have sexual products.

I don't care what others think but an 8 y.o. girl in NOT old enough to start thinking about sex or using products designed for adults.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ya know sometime i wonder if that is her plan but she is so conflicting too its like one minute SEX IS BAD, LOL we were even told that we could not have sex in her house wehn we lived there for a few months while things with out house was being straightend out, we laughed at her, i mean that just a Dumb Rule, we hade our own BEd with our own sheets and our own room witha door that closes and now she give Pure Romance Products which you get at a Sex Toy party to my daughter???

Sometimes i am so happy i did not grow up with her and i am surpirsed Lestat is not all fucked up.

[soothsayer]

Dat's just craaaaaazy.

[JaneDead]

wow... that is all so very weird. i don't even know what to say about it.

all i know is if someone got one of my kids something like that it would be taken away, right away. and i would ask the person who got it what the hell where they thinking????

[EvilEve]

i say bring it up to your mother-in-law. ask her where she got the bottle kit from. then ask her if she REALLY knew what kinds of lotion and oil she was giving to 'R'.

you're not over-exaggerating on this. you're just being a concerend mother, nothing more.

just start watching what 'R' brings home from grandma's house, and keep tabs on it.

if it starts to get too out of hand, then sit down with her, and lestat, and have a talk about some of your concerens with what products are being bought for R.

pay attention to how lynda is behaving. is she seeming out of it? kinda lost in a haze? or does she seem to have some-what of an attitude towards you?

anyway, hope this help.

[Lilith]

wow... that is all so very weird. i don't even know what to say about it.

all i know is if someone got one of my kids something like that it would be taken away, right away. and i would ask the person who got it what the hell where they thinking????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You summed up how i feel, it all has been taken away, i did let her use the shimmer stuff, i mean it is all shiny n stuff but :blink OMG I wish Lestat would have taken a pictue of my face i know it had to be Funny and scrunched and my eye brows raised nad nostrels flared ......... and i know my head was shaking back n forth.

[Lilith]

i say bring it up to your mother-in-law. ask her where she got the bottle kit from. then ask her if she REALLY knew what kinds of lotion and oil she was giving to 'R'.

you're not over-exaggerating on this. you're just being a concerend mother, nothing more.

just start watching what 'R' brings home from grandma's house, and keep tabs on it.

if it starts to get too out of hand, then sit down with her, and lestat, and have a talk about some of your concerens with what products are being bought for R.

pay attention to how lynda is behaving. is she seeming out of it? kinda lost in a haze? or does she seem to have some-what of an attitude towards you?

anyway, hope this help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ya know She has been overly Nice to me, she explained how she hopes i was not mad about her wanting to go out n about shopping cause all she has is us n the kids and It used ot be i was never allwoed to keep a hold of the money that was give nto the kids, She had bank accounts and was all secreative about it and i had to give written permission to get any of it out (not really but it felt like it) any how one day she just shows up with an emvelope and hands me al lthis cash and the list of who is belongs to and so on and now i have to keep a handle on it which i really dont mind. She has alos been really concerned with our bills and making sure we are okay n stuff, she asks me al lthe tiem and infoms me if we need jus tto let her know. Where as befor we got the Its up to us to make it work Bla blah blah She is so freaking weird. Not in a daze or anything just weird.

[soothsayer]

Dat's just craaaaaazy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Homicidalheathen]

What the hell does an 8 year old need with flavored personal massage stuff?

Fucking hello.

At that age I was still masterbating ALONE thought oral sex was GROSS and I think THAT is pretty normal.

However body glitter and stuff........no problem. They are just playing dress up disco style.

[Homicidalheathen]

And all of this from the lady who thought Halloween was an evil influence......heh typical american if ya ask me.

[saechalyn]

Even skincare products/perfumes/etc that are not sexual in nature are usually not a good idea for children because the ingredients are too harsh and can cause a bad reaction in young skin (something I learned the hard way one night while babysitting when the girls decided to get into mom's oil of olay.)

I would confront her, definitely. You could always use the angle of you don't want your child putting stuff on her skin that is meant for adults oh and by the way did you realize exactly what it was? Give her the benefit of the doubt that this was just a gross oversight and see what she says. Good luck!

[Ginevra]

LOL we were even told  that we could not have sex in her house wehn we lived there for a few months while things with out house was being straightend out, we laughed at her, i mean that just a Dumb Rule, we hade our own BEd with our own sheets and our own room witha door that closes and now she give Pure Romance Products which you get at a Sex Toy party to my daughter???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

While I'll agree that giving those types of products to a child is completely wrong except for the glittery stuff, the rules that are in place in someone's house are not "dumb rules". If someone were to come to my house to stay for, oh say, two weeks, and I specifically say "No parties and no men are to be in my home", it's not a dumb rule, in my opinion. I would say that for a specific reason.

My mother would be like yours as well, Lillith; she's probably the same generation. Different generations see things in different ways.

[Steven]

You've got soem weirdness going on, with your children as pawns.

no one can tell you to "let it go" when it comes to concerns regarding your children.

No one should ever be giving intimate gifts to yoru children without first consulting you.

And no one should ever have access to yoru children, if it causes/introduces confusion and turmoil to the family unit and to the children themselves.

Sounds like you need to draw some new relational lines, or even possibly excommunicate those who do not repsect you and your ideals by circumventing them thru your kids. Whether it be intentional or actually a byproduct of dementia......you still need to protect your inner circle.

[Onyx]

The first thing I thought when I read this was "Holy shit - that lady is too screwed up to be allowed around children."

I would be hesitant to ever allow this woman to be alone with your children ever again. I'd even consider documenting this whole incident by calling whatever social services agency serves your area and giving them a detailed account.

I do not think that would be an over-reaction, especially since she obviously knew what she was giving the child. This statement worries me the most "while the giving was taking place It was mentioned about the oil being edible".

I understand how hard it must be to deal with, and you may have conflicts with your husband, but it is your and your husband's responsibility to protect your children.

In my job I edit reports from hospitals concerning sexual abuse of children and most all sexual abuse happens from a close relative. People worry about strangers but a large percentage will happen from within families.

This woman may well be a sexual predator. Children are also abused by women so don't let the fact that she is a close relative or is female blind you to this fact. Sexual abuse can be mental as well as physical. What are your children going to remember about this? "Hmmm, I remember when Grandma gave me edible massage oil as a gift".

She needs psychological help and should only be around children if there is someone there to supervise them.

[the eternal]

OK I am the king of question sexuality, encourage kids to be comfortable witheir bodies, use right terms (it's a vagina not a hoo-hoo jackass) let them explore their bodies, blah , blah,

but this is just nuts!

The only thing you've done wrong is questioning your good judgement.

This is the kind of thing that needs to be dealt firmly and directly and dispassionately.

Dont get emotional with her

Just get to the bottom of this and make sure it's the end of it

We often, myself included, softpedal things and then it comes up again

Good luck with this.

God this is strange. :confused

[DisturbedMania]

I'm going again, as I expressed in the Halloween thread, I would highly recommend that you only allow supervised visits. If she keeps up with things that go against your parenting strategy. Sorry, but grandma can't see the kids.

On a more frightening note girls have gotten pregnant at age 8 before. Do not encourage this grandmother's insanity any further.

[Crazed Vampyress]

it is totally appropriate on the planet "DUHH" where it seems most people you meet everyday come from. this is a planet of people who make constant asses out of themselves, and thats on a good day...

[honeymustard02]

I would ask her flat out if she realized what these products were and that an 8 yr old shouldn't have them. Then if she says she did know, tell her she shouldn't be giving them to a little girl. Kids are growing up way to fast and this is part of the reason. They are being introduced to sex way too young.