lord i'm losing my mind...

[Rivers the Cleric]

so.. the past week has been an eventful one.

starting about sunday/monday i learned that my Ex wants to get back together with me... i'll just put this as honestly as i can.. she was abusive in any way that you can think of. physically, mentally, and kind of sexually. i am a very quiet person in person, i don't talk that much, i know how to fight but hate voilence, and honestly i'm pretty submissive. she basically dominated me (in a not fun way) and it took me a long time to realize everything that was wrong with the relationship, and get out of it.

i found this out because i was hanging with a friend of mine who is going through a devorce. i've always been her friend, we've always been there to talk to eachother's problems, and i'm good at listening.

i'm not trying to have sex with her, she's not trying to have sex with me. men and women are more than capeable of being friends.

my Ex saw us together talking over some coffie. she told all of my friend's friend, and most of my friends that "she's trying to take advantage of me, and sleep with me" and alternitively that "she IS taking advantage of me, and sleeping with me."

so it seems that everyone says that i'm sleeping with her... you know, i wish someone had told me, because i would have liked to have been there for it.

tuesday my Ex calls me crying, to tell me how hurt she is by her friend (my friend too) trying to/doing those things with me, and how she wants me to come over to talk... alone.. no one else around... and also that she wants me to watch her son for her again. (that's sort of how we got together in the first place... i'm insanly over protective of children.. any of them) i tell her no on both counts. but she won't stop.

wednsday i learn that the same female friend in question has recently been assaulted by a crazy stalker infront of a local resteraunt, a stalker we all know, and for some reason treat well... not anymore.. my friend is a Quaker, so for those of you who don't know what that means she can't fight back... ever... for any reason.... or that WAS the case. now she wants me to teach her Kung Fu, which i've been doing for a number of years, and have taught along with Women's self defence. so this mean's that by learning to protect herself she's been outted by every person she ever knew as a child, and most of her family (also all quakers) the rumors of her sleeping with me has outted her with most of her other friends, so she's basically going through an insane amount of shit because she's A. friends with me, and B we decided to have coffie together and talk.

thursday, a break from this set of events i learn that one of my friends Ex's is spreading rumors around that he was abusive to her while they dated... having known this man any number of years, this is laughable. he's as big a pasifest as me, hates violence, and i think the only difference is that he's capeable of verbally standing up for himself. no one believes this story in the least, and his Ex has lost a number of friends due to this blatant lie. however my friend is in a complete state of emotional breakdown due to the fact that someone would even SAY something like that about him. i do what i can to help him, and come home to anyother friend's Ex online talking to me about how badly she feels that her current boyfriend cheated on her... i point out the irony that that's what happened to my friend with her when she cheated on him, and i hope quite honestly that she feels like shit.

now i'm a bad person.

friday brings drama from all fronts, based on all the issues above and more. i replace the breaks on one friend's car, change the oil on another's truck. mentally i start to break down, but a friend helps me keep my last lingering threads of sanity intact.

saturday.... i drive to another state and pretend to be a bear, and shoot at vampires. just the sort of random fun that i desperately needed to calm down.

sunday/today... a friend calls me from Jersy to inform me that her and his girlfriend of the past 5 years have broken up. he is cryuing, understandably so. he infroms me that he's coming down to see me in a few hours, and needs to talk badly. as long as he doesnt try to stay here....

you know i never went to highschool.. but i feel like i'm there now.

[DisturbedMania]

Wow....I'm wondering if gaining more friends in your life might just kill you....

[ManicQueen]

Agree's with DisturbedMania

[Brenda Starrr]

Wow.

[Crazed Vampyress]

yea, i would say you just completed 'High School Trauma-Drama 101"

Congrats , now run for your life!!

[Homicidalheathen]

I agree. Have been going through some stuff myself although no physical abuse. Just freinds taking advantage and being selfish. One was actually mental and verbally abusive but we hardly talk now.

I know, I should just cut him loose but he does have some good qualities and I want to see how things turn out for him in life.

But I know I need distance.

You know what I do? I turn off my phone sometimes and pretend I am dead to the world. Ha.

Wow....I'm wondering if gaining more friends in your life might just kill you....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Rivers the Cleric]

I agree.  Have been going through some stuff myself although no physical abuse.  Just freinds taking advantage and being selfish.  One was actually mental and verbally abusive but we hardly talk now.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well, that was basically because she figured out that hitting me in the face with an ash tray didnt make me angry, it made me docile. i'd basically do whatever she wanted just to get her to stop being angry... that includes a lot of stuff in bed that i didnt really want to do/like doing... though i might like it, if the person was nice about it... and showered more than once a week.

but yeah, that's been the most bothersome part of the week by far.

and i don't think cutting turning off my cell phone would help. they loeave me alone plenty.. when they arent looking for someone to tell all of their problems.