The End of Things

[DarkVampire]

What is our purpose for existing? Why continue on when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, only darkness? A darkness that has enveloped you from so long ago, that you would miss it if it parted ways from you. The darkness is not evil, it's comfort, there to protect you from harm from others.

Your protecter becomes your monkey on your back as you drift further away from people, friends, family and life in general. Your "protecter" decieves you into believing that women (insert possible mate) are nothing but lying, decieving whores who mean to do you harm in the end. It lies to you about friends, your friends are using you for their own selfish needs. It lies to you to you about family. They are growing old and their time upon this earth is coming to a close. It tells you for your own best interest so you won't be hurt again is to distance yourself from your family, thus saving you from pain when they pass on from this damned existence.

You are alone and cold just were it wants you to be. You hate the world because you are alone and most of all you hate yourself for being lead down this path, a path that you feel helpless to change as you plummet further and further down into it's darkness. You are now aware of what it's doing to you yet you feel helpless to do anything. You make feeble attempts but fail to over come it. It's hard to overcome yourself your own worst enemy. The enemy is you, your protecter, the darkness is depression. Depression is an insidous disease that eats you away from the inside out as it destroys your soul.

So whats the point of suffering by your own hand? Perhaps your end is near. Depression in the end destroys all those it touches and ruins those around it.

There is NO FUCKING LOVE.

[Saephyr]

So are you pro women or not? :grin

[DarkVampire]

:blink

[Onyx]

Oh, dammit!

Bring it back! Please? I hope you have that saved somewhere. I was going to comment earlier but needed time to think.

[Fierce Critter]

Obviously no one gives a flying fuck *Content edited out*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I saw your original post. And I wasn't sure what I was supposed to get from it.

On the one hand, it seemed like you were sending out a "help me" message. On the other hand, it looked like a simple rant.

Hate to see you, or anyone else hurting. I hope you are able to find help from someone who can be there for you.

[DarkVampire]

Put it back. I had it written out. When I go through my dark moods I write it out, get it out of my system. Sometimes it makes sense sometimes it's chaos.

It's about depression and how it destroys your life, if you let it. It's ruled my life since I was in my early teens and perhaps now I am just sick of it ruling my life. But it's so hard to leave it.

[Homicidalheathen]

You have to ask yourself.......am I using this as an excuse because I am afraid or is my state of mind just a normal protection/defense.

Probably a cop out you know.

No one is an island.

[Onyx]

I thought it was a good piece of writing. (Am I the only one who saw this as an artistic outlet)?

Depression tends to feed on itself, but I find I feel better after some sort of expression, whether writing or song or just talking to someone. Listening to gloomy music helps. The gloomier it is the happier I tend to feel, with a bit of angry stuff thrown in there - love that "Rain of blood" song by Combichrist lately.

Sometimes I get so down I withdraw and don't go out for awhile, especially when my kids are away. I've been known to quit answering my phone, sit in a dark room and cry now and again (how goth is that)? Sometimes it gets so ridiculous I crack myself up and look around and ask myself what the hell am I sitting here in the dark for? heh heh.

Eventually I get bored with it and decide to get up, go out and raise some hell. We're all going to be dust sooner or later. I'm determined to find some fun along the way. I remember what Critter said once -- something like "I want to wear fun clothes and go fun places and eat fun food". hehe. Yeah! I'll have some of that.

[Homicidalheathen]

I thought he was serious because it wasn't in 'my creations' but yes, I see the artistic side of it.

You could with a little work put it in verse.

[DarkVampire]

It is serious. It is the result of letting your emotions taking control of the pen and write without holding back, until you are done.

[Mikielikesit]

I see this as an expreesion of the truth about the darkness that lives with in us all and how it will envelope us and takes us deeper into its icy and lonely depths. At times i wish i could express myself such as this. I don't have deep depression no more then most people but i do find away to make it go away is some kind of expression usually through music or an good escape film something to get lost in. I sometimes get up and go somewhere anywhere just to go.......

[DarkVampire]

We all have a Darkness that resides in us. It's just a matter on how we deal with it.

I'm a very private person, and you can tell because no one here really knows much about me. What I said at the begining of this topic is something I would have said to those only close to me, if at all. I don't know maybe my internal defenses is finally starting to break down and I am letting others know what I am about. Perhaps in doing so I am helping others, like us, to see that they are not alone with dealing with their Darkness and help bring it out in the open. You can't keep this kind of negative energy bottled up in you, it'll just destroy your soul in the long run.