Shall I Tell You a Story...

[detroitrequiem]

When I first moved to Michigan I had a difficult time finding work as a teacher. Being unemployed and alone was a lot for anyone as many of you on here know. I couldnt talk to any girls at the clubs so I started chatting online with this girl out of Ca. and we started a relationship. She moved to Detroit and lived with me for awhile. At first things went pretty well, we had a lot of fun. I took a job as a perm. sub for a school in Troy and worked all the time. We had only one car so she spent a lot of time at home. I started taking her downtown to the Lab and CC. She loved going clubbing. I then began to spend a lot of money on her for clothes for the clubs. I asker her to find a job close by to help out with money but she didnt want to do that. It was this time that I started forming what is now d:konstruct. The guys would come over and we would practice. My gf at the time would get very angry saying that I wasnt paying enough attention to her. It was then that we started to argue a bit. She also started emailing a local dj love letters online and the two were planning on getting together. To make me angry she would cut herself. I told her several times to stop and tried to work things out but her self mutilation got out of control. I then told her to get on a plane and go back home to her family in CA. A few weeks went by with several messages on my machine of her begging to come back to Detroit again but I knew things would not get better. I ignored the calls even though it broke me heart.

Two months went by and I received a call from a mental hospital saying that my gf had been put in this place by her family and she hung herself. The person on the phone began to ask me questions about our relationship and all the issues that she had. I hung up the phone and went into a deep depression blaming myself for this whole situation. I never knew if she was really dead but I thought she was due to her suicidal nature and the phone call. I was unable to contact her family which made things worse I suppose. I cried a lot and went to the clubs drinking like a mad demon. I've always been somewhat a isolationist but this situation made me hate myself a lot more. I remember I would have to leave the dance floor when Wolfshiem's Once in a Lifetime came on because I couldnt dance to it without crying. It was our song back then:)

A few years went by, found a new job that I liked, and joined a martial arts school that I believe helped me deal with a lot of emmotional problems like a lack of confidence in myself. Things have been very good but I never had closure from this experience. Last night, I recieved an email out of the blue from this girl. She seemed like she hadn't changed much and pretty much lashed out at me. I wasn't angry.... I was happy that she was alive. I told her that I was deeply sorry for the way I treated her and I wished her life's best. I admit I wasn't a bed of roses to deal with and helped contribute to this craziness. But now I feel a weight has been lifted off my back. Still, it makes me sad that so many people out there are so lost that they have to hurt themselves to get attentioon, a cry for help.

I have no idea why I posted this. I guess I wanted to share my happiness in knowing that this young girl is alive and that makes me feel good. If you are a person out there that feels alone and you hurt yourself, please stop! Send me an email. I will do my best to make time to talk to anyone that feels that lonely. All I can offer is a friendship but thats something. And for those of you out there that know of people that do these things, are you helping them?

Some people need more love than others.

Sorry so long but I felt the need to say this much

have a good day and be nice to each other

hugs...

[Head Wreck]

it sucks to be treated like dirt. times i get really mixed up about how i feel about certan people. but its nice to hear thier well once in a while.

[Homicidalheathen]

Good lord. To let someone believe you killed yourself over them for years like that.

I won't even go into it.

Glad your ok and over it now and not with this person.

[Aralis]

Whoa..what a story. Glad it had a happy ending though.

You seem like a real sweet and thoughtful person.

[ManicQueen]

Yes, glad to hear things worked out for you... and her. =)

[Onyx]

Man, what a time you have had.

It's easy to get involved with the wrong partner though - a lot of us have been through this. People can fool others easily sometimes. Really sad that someone would put you through that kind of hell.

(((hugs)))

[detroitrequiem]

Yes it was very hard but I also played a part in the relationship. I could've treated her with a lot more respect I suppose. In the end, it helped me to grow a bit more as far as how to treat people. I guess some of us musicians get a little out there at times. I only hope she can find peace with herself and find the strength to not hurt herself anymore. It's just so good to know she's alive!

[Blackmail]

did you ask her why you were lead to believe she was dead?

I think there was a similar story to this before on dgn, anyone remember?

in any event, that's one messed up story and I am sorry you had to go thru that.

[detroitrequiem]

I think she did it to get a little revenge on me sending her back to CA and ignoring her. At the time it was pretty convincing. Man I cried for weeks driving around Detroit like a zombie. I remember playing "forsaken" over and over in my car. Talk about feeling guilty because you actually believed that you were the result of someone's death. Life is too important to me.