~funny quotes of dgn~

[mallochai]

Ha, now I'm quoting you!

dude i'm only 22nd on the list, i don't know about you, but *I* can count to 22 without taking off my shoes and lifting up my dick

[BrassFusion]

it's like mutual masturbation but cleaner

[Homicidalheathen]

my genitalia died like 2 years ago when I got married!

God. Its things like this that make me stick around here. I just laughed out loud.

[mallochai]

it's like mutual masturbation but cleaner

And not quite as climactic. It'll do, though.

[Homicidalheathen]

Confused..

If the bloods and the crypts combined, wouldn't that make vampires?

[torn asunder]

I think he's asking a question similar to, "When you close the fridge door, does the light shut off?"

And the answer would be "yes, unless something horrible happens, like the ketchup giving the onion an italian dressing enema."

Which, let me assure you, is no easy task - onions are very good at hiding their assholes.

Edited May 1, 2007 by torn asunder

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

QUOTE(Absinthe @ Apr 10 2007, 10:56 PM) *

I just need to be more slutty.

I have always slighltly admired those Courtney Love Esque loud chicks with voices like sandpaper whose typical idea of dating is a one night stand. The kind of chick that has sex with a ciggarette hanging out of her mouth and a glazed over look in her eye like she has seen it all before.

The problem with that is those girls usually have a vagina dirtier than the toilet seats at City Club.

so...I guess I will modify. Be slightly more easy and possibly folow thru with my other fantasy of having sex in the back of a cab during rush hour.

The thing is...she wasn't joking :|

[Homicidalheathen]

QUOTE(CixWicked @ May 1 2007, 04:58 PM)

This is funny. The gang isn't called the 'Crypts' they are calle CRIP's CRIP Stands for Community Resources In Progress. Actually when they started Larry Hoover was trying to start a youth group... LOL...

Crimson Scales:

He didn't fail completely, all youth groups degrade.. for instance the Girl Scouts are eventually going to go downhill. I give it 5-10 years before I bite into a Thin Mint laced with something.. if I haven't already..

[Homicidalheathen]

Le' Oops

Edited May 2, 2007 by Homicidalheathen

[Homicidalheathen]

There are lots of movie scenes that I would -love- to try.

The prostitue scene in 'American Psycho'... well everything excpet the chainsaw, and the murdering whores part.

[n0Mad]

• Hold the penis like you would hold a candy bar.... Fortunately, the color of my member will help you remember the candy bar rule

Edited May 4, 2007 by Spook

[Homicidalheathen]

Tits you cannot see

Growthe spurt she never passed

Nubs is all they be

From the Haiku thread.

I am sooo glad I am looking through that thread now. Tis quite funny!

[Rayne]

You all didn't get to see this because it was in PM, but I thought I'd share:

(An exchange between me and Phee about dinner)

Phee:

Hmmm *ponders* how about that one place.... acutally no... they don't serve food there.... there is always... um... wait that was a massage parlor so that won't work...

Um... can I meet you guys somewhere?

Me:

......... not if you don't tell me where .......

Phee:

ummm.... er... jiffy lube? no wait... steak and shake?

Me:

I'm game! No ... wait ... am I getting an oil change or dinner?

Edited May 7, 2007 by Rayne

[Absinthe]

QUOTE(Absinthe @ Apr 10 2007, 10:56 PM) *

I just need to be more slutty.

I have always slighltly admired those Courtney Love Esque loud chicks with voices like sandpaper whose typical idea of dating is a one night stand. The kind of chick that has sex with a ciggarette hanging out of her mouth and a glazed over look in her eye like she has seen it all before.

The problem with that is those girls usually have a vagina dirtier than the toilet seats at City Club.

so...I guess I will modify. Be slightly more easy and possibly folow thru with my other fantasy of having sex in the back of a cab during rush hour.

The thing is...she wasn't joking :|

I do!! Aint nothing like a chick that you look at and realize she is a blistering rash waiting to happen...but worth every scratch.

[Homicidalheathen]

From the Ramada reviews thread

Ramada = bad!!

'On top of that...I couldn't get into the bathroom. It's not a very handicap accessible place. So I had to pee in a garbage can...which isn't as bad as you think...the steam from my pee supported us with slight and temparary fix of heat...'

Ha ha! Piss steam room! Oh um yah, thats gross huh. Oh well. I thought it was funny. Nice example of recycling?

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Well, I'm sure my pee is sanitary compared to what was in the garabge can beforehand

Edited May 10, 2007 by deadburgerking

[phee]

From EAF

Naw, there's a difference between goth and emo, simple, Emo's hate themselves...Goth's hate everyone else...lol

[CixWicked]

It's not my fucking planet, alright Monkey boy?

[JaneDead]

t.a.'s sig:

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just fuck off and leave me alone!!

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[torn asunder]

t.a.'s sig:

[torn asunder]

(totally taken out of context, because it was written thusly...)

"well, that was interesting. i've never had that happen in my mouth before."

Edited June 14, 2007 by torn asunder

[Homicidalheathen]

"Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have lived with the bitch the rest of your life"

Gee only in here a week and ya got quoted already. Not bad!!!

[Homicidalheathen]

My sister in law (at the time) was morman... and yes wore the magical underwear of Jesus or something

[artificialdawn]

Just remember any cowerker of mine....

Is a cowerker of mine

Mer.. I just thought I'd join in, and this was ... I don't know

[know_buddy_kares]

22. What do you wear to bed?

Depends