~funny quotes of dgn~

[JaneDead]

If you weigh 700 lbs

or

If your boobs hang around your ankles, you may want to save the electrical tape for better uses,

like patching up your home.

Less is more.

Accentuate your best features.

Sometimes it's sexier to make people want to know what's behind door number 2, instead of putting it in their faces.

(Notable exception: The couple that looks like they're trying out for the Jerry Springer Show. I need you guys for entertainment, just as much as I need the leather twins with the jetpacks.)

[odims_sphere]

from an IM with Candy:

anywho, the sun is out, and its all cute and sparkely out there... until you open the door, and reailze the sun is a LIAR, and its fucking cold. then those little sparkels of prettiness are just the sparkles of numb and coldness set to destroy your body heat and make you want to be in the house all day.

[torn asunder]

from an IM with Candy:

doesn't count!! not from a post on dgn!!

[odims_sphere]

doesn't count!! not from a post on dgn!!

DOH!

still funny anyway

I saw previous posts from text convos and PM's so i thought I'd throw it out there.

[CandyQuackenbush]

doesn't count!! not from a post on dgn!!

But I iz on teh DGN... can't we let it slide. We is not the first!

[JaneDead]

What are you feeling?

Like some people argue just to argue.

No they don't

[JaneDead]

from the what helps you sleep thread:

A full belly. Or sex. Or both.

A full belly of sex?

Neat. But I thought girls get that.....

Edited January 25, 2008 by JaneDead

[JaneDead]

Here's how my middle names came to be. My Korean surname was Lee, so my parents decided that both my brother and I would retain our last names, as our middle names. So we were often called Ug & Home.. (get it?) by our relatives as a joke. It's kinda mean but we never saw it that way.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

I...don't get it...*braces for reaction*

[Tryp]

Ha love em'

[Morbid Side]

From the eternal.

If you weigh 700 lbs

or

If your boobs hang around your ankles, you may want to save the electrical tape for better uses,

like patching up your home.

LOL

[Homicidalheathen]

That was a funny ass post wasn't it? I laughed outloud so hard my kid came to see what I was laughing at.

[JaneDead]

so funny, it got quoted twice

[Homicidalheathen]

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT COMES OUT OF THAT HOLE?

but whatever... a man wants to stick it there... uhm... prepare to see a shiny butcher knife slide out from under muh pillow.....

yeah... not gonna happen....

oh yeah... forgot to ask... if a woman farts during anal, does it count as a blow job? heh...

[JaneDead]

To all you Fake-baking, skankin-it-out chicks who think you look cute for showing the lower-half of your ass, your tramp-stamped back and your poorly-manicured toes..... REALITY CHECK! You look like a two-cent hooker. Put some clothes on.

[JaneDead]

from the how emo are you quiz:

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the funniest most frustrating quiz ever!!!!!!

I WASNT EMO BEFORE, but after doing this I sure want to slit my wrists too!

Edited February 17, 2008 by JaneDead

[jadnifer]

My computer isn't even a two-hamsters on treadmills system, i only have one hamster and he has a bad leg. *sniffles* I don't have much to donate. I could donate Hobbles (thats what i call him) but i'd want him back.

Quote from Troy in the Seti@Home Thread

[bean]

I think you win for the most pictures posted by ones self, of ones self... in the shorted period of time.... award.

[jadnifer]

And a cripple?

That's the name of an AWESOME sitcom:

"Brenda, corset, musical instruments and a cripple running a pizza place"

DBK's post

Edited February 21, 2008 by jadnifer

[jadnifer]

"I want to be in a punk rock band. That'd be great! What other genre allows you to sing about your girlfriend in one line, then poop in the next?"

DBK's signature

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

"I want to be in a punk rock band. That'd be great! What other genre allows you to sing about your girlfriend in one line, then poop in the next?"

DBK's signature

haha! No one else said anything about that sig! I am SO working that line into my comedy material though!

[JaneDead]

I have a different take.

First, you need to ask yourself, IS she a cunt??

That is, is she indeed a walking 5' tall Vagina?

If the answer is no, then I would try to cease calling her that.

Now, on the other hand, if she is a bitch,

then I would cease seeing her, because man-dog love is just plain wrong.

[Burrich1]

I'm not gaining any upper body strength this way. But I'll be able to crack walnuts with my asscheeks by the time my ankle heels. Good thing I hate walnuts.

[Kit Kat P]

... you're not married, you're not rich, and just keep an eye out on your kidneys and you'll be just fine.

[hunhee]

And he says 'because you pray for dumb shit, like world peace. You've got to pray for REAL problems, like not getting White Castle,'

Hehe sass, I'm quoting Guy, but you said it, so you get the credit.. hehe