Relationships Vs Your Creer

[Hellion]

:devil The problem in America is too many people care about getting laid more than their career. A good friend of mine that I have known for 12 years, lost a $25 HR job because of a stupid relationship! In my opinion these days, what is more important: getting laid or bettering yourself. Because me myself I will not give up a career for anyone not even family!! And I will not give up good friendships whats so ever!!! Most people in America are too fucked up in the head. Not to sound like I am an ass but think of your future not your egotistic attitude.

[Shade Everdark]

I've gone too far in the other direction.

I've always put my career, such as it is, far ahead of my relationships. They've suffered for it...oh yes.

[ManicQueen]

Never, would I give up my career for someone. It took me long enough to get where I am.

[Homicidalheathen]

Depends on the person. My husband would never do this but......he worked with a guy who was married and stayed online all day on dating/sex web sites.

He had to fire him but this was after 3 warnings by two different people! They would walk past his cubicle and there he would be online everytime, not working. I think he had a sex addiction. Cute wife too.

[Rayne]

I don't have a career ... but I do believe you should put your career ahead of your relationship.

[Onyx]

I feel if someone expected me to give up my career and hurt my own future then they do not care enough about me to consider having a relationship with anyway.

[The_Dark]

I've done it before. I don't regret it.

[pharoh]

Depends on the Career to be honest. And you can always go back....

[Brenda Starrr]

I won't give up ANY part of who I am for ANYone. If you can't accept all of me, you get none of me.

[pharoh]

I don't think it's about acceptance brenda, sometimes it can be about comprimise. I don't think it's changing you, but thats just my opinion....but I would not ask my partner anything like that, unless maybee we were married and it was of dire situation.

[Brenda Starrr]

I did mean my career. It's a part of who I am. Asking me to stop being a makeup artist would be like asking me to avoid using my left hand. I just can't do it.

[Onyx]

This is a really interesting thread.

I can not imagine asking someone I love to give up their career, especially if it was something they liked and very much a part of them.

I can imagine asking a partner to perhaps cut back on overtime or maybe if it's a job killing them with stress, perhaps see if they would like to look for another job, but give up their entire career? No way.

I wouldn't ask that and I would not expect anyone to ask that of me either.

[pharoh]

This is a really interesting thread.

I can not imagine asking someone I love to give up their career, especially if it was something they liked and very much a part of them.

I can imagine asking a partner to perhaps cut back on overtime or maybe if it's a job killing them with stress, perhaps see if they would like to look for another job, but give up their entire career?  No way.

I wouldn't ask that and I would not expect anyone to ask that of me either.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Onyx thats where I was kinda goin with this lol

[Blackmail]

What if the girl was a stripper? I certainly would not date a stripper, but what if she became one after you started dating? Would you ask her to give it up?

I would.

[pharoh]

What if the girl was a stripper?  I certainly would not date a stripper, but what if she became one after you started dating?  Would you ask her to give it up?

I would.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

as long as it's not before I think your entitled to that.

[Fierce Critter]

I basically gave up all of me when I met Jon.

It's a long story. But our first few months together required massive amounts of time taking care of him.

After that initial period was over, we ended up spending our lives taking care of each other. And I've never really gotten back to "me".

I'm working on that now.

I never actually gave up a "career". When I met Jon, I had been unemployed for a year. I was looking at getting back into a JOB, another corporate clerical JOB, not a career. My career plans were still unsure - was I going to pursue music? Was I going to become a high-school teacher? I wasn't sure yet. So when I met him and circumstances arose that took me down an entirely different life path, it wasn't that I gave up something - I just stopped pursuing ANYTHING, except taking care of both of us.

Now, we're settled back in the area we intend to stay in. Jon finally has a job that has LOTS of promise, lots of room for him to MAKE it a career. And I'm in a position to start getting back to myself in a MAJOR way.

I do lament the years past where I couldn't find the time to really foster my own self. I didn't do things right. I'm now at an age where I'm quite aware of the fact that a "career" in music may be out of the question.

And I'm starting to ask myself if I really care. Was my heart ever really in music? Or did (do) I just have a talent for it. There's a difference.

Jon probably laments my having "given up" my music more than I do, to be honest. I always was unsure I was willing to get into everything that a possibly successful career in entertainment might bring, if I hit the ultimate high. I didn't think I'd like the lack of privacy it brings, for one thing. There were other things that gave me pause.

Jon and I ran into my ex at CC this past Saturday. One of the first things he asked was where I was at with my music. I hesitated to tell him that I've barely opened my guitar cases in 7 years. I thought about that to myself in a nanosecond before replying, and part of me felt sadness & mourning.

I'm on a different path now. I may never get into the career I once saw myself with. I do lament that. But I also VERY much like the new path I'm on, a path I NEVER could have found myself on without my meeting Jon, and everything that came after.

I mean, it's hard to beat the fact that I no longer have to work for anyone but me & Jon. I don't answer to anyone but myself and him. I have FUN doing what I do. I set my own schedule. Selling on eBay may never be as fulfilling as a music career might have been. But lately, I've been asking myself just how fulfilled I ever really was by writing & performing music.

I dunno. I'm still working on things. I may find myself doing things like commercial work (jingles, etc), stuff like that to keep my musical interests fed. Maybe they're just not that hungry anymore.

I dunno.

[Hellion]

:devil The right mate who is 100 respectful to the other and completely understands the other's job and requirements of that job, is the perfect mate.

[Steven]

Order of importance:

1) my walk with God

2) my relationship with my wife

3) Kids (if I had them) - so I'll substitute intimate friends

4) My church community

5) distant family

6) Income/Career

[saechalyn]

There's a balance. I don't have a career right now (just a job) but I hope to someday, and no I wouldn't just walk away from it for a relationship. Likewise I wouldn't expect someone to give up their career for me. However there is such a thing as compromise, and depending on circumstances it might be appropriate to move or change hours or whatnot for a partner, and those kinds of things I might consider.

[saechalyn]

What if the girl was a stripper?  I certainly would not date a stripper, but what if she became one after you started dating?  Would you ask her to give it up?

I would.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Interesting point. I guess it's fair to ask that someone NOT get started on something when it will affect you or your relationship. I mean, if I was with someone who suddenly decided s/he wanted to join the military or some other career that would mean constant moving around I sure wouldn't like it.

And, I must admit, no I wouldn't like it either if my girlfriend decided to become a stripper.

[Rayne]

Ultimate example of re-enforcing what I said. I married an Army guy who was gone for 8 months. I married an over-the-road trucker gone for 6 weeks at a time, home for 2 days, then gone again. I wouldn't expect him to give up any aspect of his career for me and any issues I had with it would be my own that I would have to deal with.

[pharoh]

But you have to admit....

Ryon's mom is a whore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ha HA!................................BITCHES!

[Rayne]

But you have to admit....

Ryon's mom is a whore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

... and when have I ever denied that? *giggle*

[creatureofthenyte]

Well, finally I spot a thread on here that I can really identify with.

Life is a series of choices.

A person really needs to put thought into things before doing them, most of the time.(if you have to use the toilet and have to think about actually getting up to go use it, you might be a redneck!!!.....KIDDING! ) Hmmn.... would I give up my career for a relationship? I would have to say no. I have a good job, with good pay and good insurance. These kinds of jobs don't grow on trees and are dissappearing more and more. Look what's happening to Ford Motor Co. Here in CT, where I live, a major grocery store company just announced that they will be closing a distribution warehouse in June '06. 850 jobs gone. The main reason why I wouldn't give up my career is that I don't EVER want to put myself in a situation where I'd have to depend on my lady, or anyone else for that matter, for financial support. I choose to be a grown up adult and depend on me and only me for that. I've never mooched off of anyone and I don't ever intend to start. People have talked with me about this subject before. The general consensus is that no one, if they want to be with me, would make me give up my career. <--their words not mine. But the other reason why I wouldnt give up my career for a relationship is that in this day and age, given the kind of job I have, and the money I make, that is just too big of a risk to take. I also haven't won Powerball yet.

[Shade Everdark]

I've just realized...I have no career.