Children and Allowances

[damagedangel]

Just a quick question for the group. For those who are parents, do you give your children allowances? What are the guidlines that you go by?

I proposed an allowance schedule to my 9 year old daughter today. I'm finally at point where I can afford to give them allowances, but I wanted to try to teach both of my daughters (which for the 4 year old, it's a little above her head right now) responsibility with money.

Here are the guidelines I proposed:

The amount of allowance is half of their age, so the oldest would get $4.50 a week and the youngest $2.00 per week. 50% of this amount must be stashed away for savings, and when we get up enough money to open savings accounts, we shall (I'll probably match what the half they put into savings) 40% of the remaining amount can be given directly to them for anything they would like to use it on. The remaining 10% will be put away in a charitable savings for them to give to a charity of their choice when they have enough (I suggested either the humane society or a pet rescue (buy supplies))

On their chore list, I have the normal everyday things that they must do.. i.e. brush hair, teeth.. etc etc... things that you're just expected to do. Then there are things that have a little extra monetary incentive (get up in the morning on time, without any hassle, go to bed and stay in bed on time without any hassle... those two things are a BIG problem here) So they have a chance to earn more than they're allotted amount per week.

My 9 year old looked at me like I was crazy. She said it wasn't fair that I wanted her to save half of her allowance and then set away some of it to give to someone else. My daughters see me participate in charity events, so I try to let them know that charity is a good thing....

I'm rambling, and I've gotten away from my original question.. but.. do you think I'm insane for this plan?

[slingerlandstyx]

Minus the charity thing, (as they may still be too young to understand/comprehend how big the problems in the world are) this allowance plan is genius. I only ever got 2 bucks a week, and to me it was not worth it to get my chores done for it. Your 'extra monetary incentives might have done the trick for me when I was growing up.

[JaneDead]

i think it is a good plan.

i can't afford to give my kids allowance so they will go on working for free. :laughing

i have been told my son does more at his age than anyone else his age (my son actually doesn't say this - other people do. primarily people who's kids do nothing or have no kids or by kids who don't do anything and don't understand the concept of helping around the house)

[Draco1958]

For earning the extras, you could have them help clean the house, things like pick things up, make sure things get put in the laundry and such. Simple things that would help you day to day.

[Brenda Starrr]

My kids have cell phones. Therefore, they do chores.

[Ginevra]

When I was growing up, we never got an allowance. We were expected to pick up after ourselves, act like young ladies and gentlemen without enticement other than the punishment for if you didn't and once put to bed, you stayed there unless you had to use the bathroom. You ate your dinner, went to school daily, ate lunch daily, brushed your teeth and hair without question.

DD, I'm not trying to criticise what you're doing and how you're approaching it. Not by any means at all. I think it's quite admirable that you're trying to do *something* in this crazy world that makes sense. I do agree with SLS in that it might be over the kids' heads about a charity organisation unless you explain it out to them that there are kids who don't have toys, presents, birthday celebrations, etc. When explained like this, most kids will at least have some inkling.

I was only meaning to say that there could be another way to go rather than having to give the kids money to do what they should do anyway.

[Hellion]

:devil We used to get an allowence when our parents were married.

[Fierce Critter]

I can only speak from experience.

My dad didn't give us allowances. If we needed - truly NEEDED - something, it was purchased for us.

Once in a while, if we wanted something, he'd buy it for us. But he always knew what it was we wanted to buy.

Now, here's the thing. Is an allowance a good tool for training kids? I think maybe it is. My dad had 6 kids. Out of the ones I have had extensive contact with (some are old enough to have been out of the house by the time I could tell shit from shinola), I'd say half are good with money, including one sister who is my role model when it comes to saving/investing/etc.

But the other half are horrible with money. Including me.

I think we all could have benefitted from some kind of allowance plan. Or at least just been sat down and trained on how to budget. Not just told, "You should budget your money when you have it," but actually TRAINED.

I'd have appreciated learning all that BEFORE I was responsible for serious things like an income, credit cards, car payments, etc. I had to learn the hard way.

I think your plan is interesting. But the actual parents who have spoken here are probably better judges as to its feasibility.

[Lilith]

For me when i was growning up i had a work chart, with each "chore" having a diffrent value and i made as much or as little money as i wanted. It included things like Working out with my mom to help keep her motivated, dishes, vacume, take out trash, pick up dog poop, and many other things. There were chore i had to take care of and often thsoe chore were worth the least. I did not get my $ on a weekly basis instead my mom just kept a Logg of how much i earned and every once in a while when there was soemthing worth while for me to buy i could withdrawl. After a while this led way to me getting a car and well my mom put gas in it paid insurance for me and helped me fix it al lthe time so i did chore for free, untill i got a Job, then i paid for my own car, and just did chores casue well i was healthier then my mom.

Now i am not sure if that was a success or not, I did learn that my earning potential is entirly up to me and no one else, i need ot work to make the money i get. I also learned that saving or having some one else force saving on you is a good thing, casue well when i have the extra to save i can and have done so.

With my kids they all three have Chore Charts, but none of them earn an allowence, I created my chore chart for several reasons, one being each child needs to learn to care for a home, Each child has a list of chores every single day and they rotate. For me it so they learn that even if you do not get a reward there are tasks in life we have to accomplish weather or not we get rewarded. Once in a while one of them will do an exceptional JOB and then i will reward them for the extra effort they put forth on there own with money from my change Jar.

Now for kids who DO NOT get money a regular basis i dont think it is right to force them to save it, but encourge them to do so remind them of up comming event wich they might like to have there own money, but if they DO get a weekly amount then ofcourse they should be forced to save. For us i adress the issue of saving by finding a large reason or incentive for them to save. Example, all 3 of mine want to go to disney land, well mom dont have the $ and she is tired of hearing about it, so We created a Saving Jar, with disney picutre glued on and all three can drop $ in to save and when we as a family have enough in the jar we will all go to disney. My kids asked hwo they wuld save $ moeny if they never get $, so i suggested that they could do laundry and keep all washed money, there is allways money sitting on the ground they can pick up even just a penny and it will add up. Also with grandparent and to odd ball friend giving out a buck here or there, it can add up pretty quickly, and once again this rely on all of them to make the choice to save. I do prompt them allot, every time i see a bill being place in there hands i make mention of the disney jar and about half the time they add it in.

For charity because i do think teaching kid to give to others is important, and since i dont give them a regular allowence, we purdge out toy around birthdya and holidays, i make them join in when we go through cloth to weed out small ones and often we all go to donate these items together to several places.

I perosnally think that if it a value you hold high and the way you choose to teach you children about charity is to have them donate a portion of there allowence is perfectly fine. All kids have a probelm with giving away there things to begin with, but once they get aquiainted with the joy it can bring, they want to do it on there own and they will no longer throw a stink. So yes sometime as parent we have to force our kids to do thing that seem unfair so they learn the benefits of what ever it is we are teaching them.

I gues in a way I dont see any reason to entice a child to do soemthing they should be doing any how, you dont get paid to clean you home/room, take out trash etc... when you are an adult, you hsuld just do it because. I personally dont plan to fork out a regular allwoence wehn i can afford one, and the kids will still be expected to do there regular chores and when they want soemthing it will coem as a reward for an exceptional job, whch in fact does happen when you are an adult, you get promotions based on your own hard work etc......... As i can afford it i do plan to make a list of Extra Tasks, they can do that are not required if they ever want to earn a bit of extra cash for play.

[Homicidalheathen]

Nope. I believed in it, my man did not. So......I did it his way. We let them ask for money if they needed it......if they wanted to go to a movie, they would do yard work or something and get paid for it.

I know it seems harsh.....but they could not wait to get a job and do very well at there p/t fast food jobs now, have bought a car.....clothes......all I pay for is food and shelter and toiletries, now and they are saving for college.

So, I guess he was right. They get tired of asking and cannot wait to go to work.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh and might I add, they still get excellent grades.....got their first job at 15, and have worked steady at the same jobs for over a year now taking time off to do the haunted house thing once a year which they get paid for.

I will not pay for a kids cell phone or car or gas or hair dye. If you want to live like an adult, work and pay for it yourself.

[The_Dark]

All of my kids get an allowance.. well, except my daughter, she's not living at home anymore.... It varies depending on how much they have earned. If they clean thier rooma nd pcikup after themselves... they get $5 a week. My oldest son gets $20 a week as he babysits and does more in the way of chores.

That charity thing your doing... yeah, not sure thats going to do much good.

[Rayne]

My kids do not get allowances yet.

[damagedangel]

That charity thing your doing... yeah, not sure thats going to do much good.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I beg to differ. She's already been involved in multiple food drives through school and girl scouts, and asks me if she can volunteer at the humane society. Asking her to put aside money for those causes that she has a hankering towards isn't any different than that. And we're not talking dollars here, we're talking $.25 per week. As for my youngest, yes, it's still over her head right now, but if I'm going to enforce rules for one, I'm going to enforce rules for all.

I think it was just the shock of me actually saying that I wanted her to do something like that. After thinking about it after our conversation last night, she said that she was happy with the plan and that she wanted to do it. I explained the savings part a little more, and gave her some figures... for example.. we start next week, putting away $2.25 per week. There would be 48 weeks left in the year. At the end of the year, she would have $108. I agreed to match what they put into savings and into charity, so she would actually have $216, and if we have opened an account, whatever piddly interest she would accumulate. (Actually she would have a tiny bit more, because as of her birthday in December she would raise up to $5 per week)

They're not getting paid to do things that they are expected to do around the house (pick up their toys, put their dirty laundry in the hamper, etc), they'd be getting an allowance per week for those small things in the store that they walk by and they think they absolutely MUST have and they think they absolutely won't be able to live without (take for instance.. the Disney Adventure magazine every month) When I was growing up, if we wanted anything that was outside the realm of everyday necessities, we had to do extra chores to get those things.

The extra monetary incentives are being paid on those things that I could really use an extra pair of hands in, no matter how small they are.