You might be a goth if...

[soothsayer]

*You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit

*You wear sunglasses in the produce department at night

*You won't get in a fight because it might smudge your make up

*You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face

*People can't tell whether you're searching for a missing contact or dancing

*The only day you feel normal is Halloween

*You don't know whether the person you're sleeping with is male or female until you're actually in bed with them

*You don't care

*The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"

*You were rooting for the vampires in "From Dusk Til Dawn", Lost Boys", etc.

*The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child

*You watch Sesame Street as an adult just to see The Count

*You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer

*You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"

*You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones

*You think anything dead is pretty

*You refer to your age in mortal years

*You give yourself the honorary title of Lord or Lady

*You know what a Malkavian is

*You know what a Malkavian is because you've been there, done that

*You have the t-shirt

*You dressed as The Crow for Halloween one year

*You have dressed as The Crow for Halloween the past few years

*The club you frequent has concocted an original drink called "The Vampire's Kiss"

*You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose

*You think blood is "pretty"

*Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years

[soothsayer]

*You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery

*You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s

*You own even 1 Projekt c.d.

*Friday the Thirteenth is your lucky day

*You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier

*You decide Wednesday blows them both away

*You could easily blow $500 in a Halloween store

*You could spend all $500 on just make up

*You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers

*You claim the Chupacabra is a friend/relative of yours

*You own a hearse

*You own a hearse and don't work in a funeral parlor

*You keep a coffin in the back as "decoration"

*You keep a coffin in the back as a bed

*You think of the hearse as the "family car"

*You think heresy is a religion

*You claim heresy as YOUR religion

*You own a rosary that you wear

*You own many rosaries that you wear

*You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car

*You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years

*You wish to name your first born Lestat

*You plan to name your first born after ANY Anne Rice character

*You didn't know they were characters

*Your purse is large, square and metal

*The purse has scratches from being used in a fight

*It has scratches from being kicked on the dance floor

*This is the reason it was scratched in a fight

*You think bats are "cute"

*You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires

*You can debate both sides of that argument

*You've participated in one of those "Do you think Tom Cruise was good as Lestat?" conversations

[soothsayer]

*You saw Valor on the street, you would throw your large, metal purse at him

*You and your friends enjoy congregating in a local graveyard

*No one you know is buried there

*You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards

*You take pictures of the gravestones while reciting Oscar Wylde or singing "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths

*You know the words to "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths

*You know who The Smiths are

*Your favorite poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe

*Your favorite poem is "Metamorphosis of a Vampire" by Charles Baudelaire

*You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre

*Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to

*Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does

*You refer to others as "The Normals"

*You refer to our leather-clad brethren as "Those Industrialites" or "Industrial-heads"

*You go to South Beach, but have never seen the ocean

*You can reminisce through all 4 locations of The Kitchen Club and 2 of The Church

*You put on The Wake and practice dancing in front of the mirror

*You practice with your own personal strobe AND blacklight

*You are too poor to afford either and stole the lights off the Christmas tree

*You can't even tell whether you're looking for a missing contact or dancing

*You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band

*When someone else "discovers" you're favorite band, you find another favorite band

*Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently

*Jehovah's Witnesses accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently

*You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street

*Satanists just look at you and smile

*You laugh hysterically during those Church Of Latter-Day Saints commercials

*You call for the free Bible anyway

*You take great pleasure in vandalizing said Bible after waiting impatiently by your mailbox for 4-6 weeks

*You stop vandalizing the Bible momentarily to look up Psalm 69

*In your honest opinion, the image of Jesus ruins the beauty and natural fluidity of the cross

*You've been with your significant other for over a year and still wonder what they look like without make up

*You and your boyfriend fight over make up

*You decide to get matching his/hers make up caddies to separate your make up

*You smudge your lipstick on purpose to look like Robert Smith

*You eat those limited edition pop-tarts just because they have bats on them

*You save them because Hey!...they're limited edition

*You call them goth-tarts

*You know what Renfield's Disease is

*You have Renfield's Disease

*You have taken anything on this list personally

*You were offended

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh god most of the ones in the first set apply to me. I am laughing my ass off over here.

[bean]

hehe :fear

[Hellion]

:devil This thread is awsome!!

[phee]

yay

[DarkVampire]

Like wowsers