Wal-Mart Announcement

[Dubh Aingeal]

Newsflash Wal-Mart Wine

"Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item -- Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-$5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI."

The top suggested names for Walmart Wines:

19. Box O' Grapes

18. Chateau du Crack Chardonnay

17. White Trashfindel

16. Big Red Gulp

15. Grape Expectations

14. Chateau Traileur Parc

13. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"

12. Sam's Dog 20/20

11. Chef Boyardeaux

10. Trucker's Choice

9. Blue Light Special Nun

8. Chateau des Moines

7. Mogen Darryl

6. World Championship Riesling

5. NASCARbernet

4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes

3. Peanut Noir

2. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

[bean]

:laughing

[Brenda Starrr]

"Peanut Noir" is a favorite. I was a waitress, and I had a couple at one of my tables. The gentleman asked me for a bottle of "Peanut Noir" after telling me he was very cultured when it came to wines. He also asked what "Merlott" (mur-LOTT) I'd recommend.

[n0Mad]

Brenda - Similar things happen to me all the time. I guess not everyone is the sommelier they think they are.

"Huh? What about an African country?"

Uh, I think you're refering to Somalia.

"Isn't that food poisoning?"

No, that's salmonella.

"I thought that was a fish?"

No, that's just salmon.

"Isn't it pronounced Solomon, like the guy from the Bible?"

Now you're just being an idiot. Where's my gun ... ?

My favorite from the list above is:

11. Chef Boyardeaux

[Soulrev]

"Grape Value Vinyards Rusty Port Vintage 2006 - when Ruby is just too much" .. "Now with a Roll-Back top for easy pouring!"

[Hellion]

:devil Talk about some cheap ass wine.

[Mikielikesit]

Now we need wine in a can .....oh never mind we have wine coolers huh