here we go again.

[Rivers the Cleric]

been away, trying to come back to the board now. figured i'd amuse you with tales of my inability to find a sane woman.

so i met this girl a while back. nice, sweet, little on the scatterbrained side, but that's cool because gods know i am.

went on a number of dates (15) with her, went to the mall, movies, watched TV at my house, introduced her to my family, talked to her on the phone, talked to her online. this continued for a couple of months... 3 or more, maybe?

so i call, and no answer on her phone.. it's a cell, so i figure it's dead or something. so i leave a message.

don't see her online, don't get calls back, don't see her around any of the places she normally is.

this goes on for 2 weeks.

she comes back, and cute little nicknames like "love" and "honey" have turned in to "buddy".

i ask her about this. but no, i'm crazy crazy even for asking about it.

so, personal life calls me away for... 3 days.

finally, i get back online, and checkout her Myspace account.

interesting that there's now pictures all over her account of her NEW BOYFRIEND, and she posts about how much she loves him, and how sweet he is, and blah blah MOTHERFUCKING BLAH!... and it seems she's blocked my AIM, Yahoo, and all other SNs EXCEPT for the Myspace with all the pictures on it...

so, crushed heart once again... i think sofar.. out of the 7 girls i've actually been serious about... 7 have cheated on me... 7 would also be the total number of people i've dated... ever..

ya know, i'm seriously thinking about turning in to bad person... but i've got this annoying problem where hurting people in any way hurts me just as bad, or worse.

though on the plus side, i'm pretty sure i've reached a point where the idea of sex has me so jaded that i'd rather ritually mutilate my genitals than touch another human, who will in the end hurt me on some amazing level.

[Steven]

been away, trying to come back to the board now. figured i'd amuse you with tales of my inability to find a sane woman.

so i met this girl a while back. nice, sweet, little on the scatterbrained side, but that's cool because gods know i am.

went on a number of dates (15) with her, went to the mall, movies, watched TV at my house, introduced her to my family, talked to her on the phone, talked to her online. this continued for a couple of months... 3 or more, maybe?

so i call, and no answer on her phone.. it's a cell, so i figure it's dead or something. so i leave a message.

don't see her online, don't get calls back, don't see her around any of the places she normally is.

this goes on for 2 weeks.

she comes back, and cute little nicknames like "love" and "honey" have turned in to "buddy".

i ask her about this. but no, i'm crazy crazy even for asking about it.

so, personal life calls me away for... 3 days.

finally, i get back online, and checkout her Myspace account.

interesting that there's now pictures all over her account of her NEW BOYFRIEND, and she posts about how much she loves him, and how sweet he is, and blah blah MOTHERFUCKING BLAH!... and it seems she's blocked my AIM, Yahoo, and all other SNs EXCEPT for the Myspace with all the pictures on it...

so, crushed heart once again... i think sofar.. out of the 7 girls i've actually been serious about... 7 have cheated on me... 7 would also be the total number of people i've dated... ever..

ya know, i'm seriously thinking about turning in to bad person... but i've got this annoying problem where hurting people in any way hurts me just as bad, or worse.

though on the plus side, i'm pretty sure i've reached a point where the idea of sex has me so jaded that i'd rather ritually mutilate my genitals than touch another human, who will in the end hurt me on some amazing level.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

might be a slightly better idea to simply keep your gentalia to yourself.

we talk as if sex is no big deal when its rewarding and fulfilling, its a casual everyday need that should not be taken so seriously.

Until we get hurt. Then we realize that sex is actually much more powerful than we gave it credit for.

Sorry your hurt dude, but your learning, which is a good thing.

Since 7 out of 7 did not work out - perhaps its time to review and find the common thread among the 7. Because somehow or another - you have invited unchaste and/or dishonerbale people in your life, and yet failed to recognize the warning signs. Good luck to you.

Steven

[Rivers the Cleric]

Sorry your hurt dude, but your learning, which is a good thing.

Since 7 out of 7 did not work out - perhaps its time to review and find the common thread among the 7.  Because somehow or another - you have invited unchaste and/or dishonerbale people in your life, and yet failed to recognize the warning signs.  Good luck to you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you see, that was the plan, this time.

the common thread with all of the others was that THEY asked ME out. this one i asked out myself. she was in no way like the others. not the same interests, not the same personality, hell, she was Colombian, and till now i've pretty much only dated.. well, pretty much nothing but wasps.. not that i don't find a woman attractive no matter what she may be, it's just always seemed to come out as all waspy.

and i know what it is, honestly. it's the fact that it takes me a lot longer before i'm comfortable with the idea of sex... like, personally, i want love or at least strong affection to be involved before i'll do that. and sure, all girls say "oh, that's so sweet!" or "that's ok, we can wait till you're ready." but it isnt.

i'm still a virgin, and a number of them have straight up told me that i'm a target to them, and not to trust them. at least that's some honesty.

funny thing is, they normally cheat just as i feel close enough to them to start getting comfortable with the idea.

[Homicidalheathen]

Your still a virgin? God, yah.....your too nice.

[Rivers the Cleric]

Your still a virgin?  God, yah.....your too nice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

too nice? no such animal.

at this point i'm pretty sure i'm just going to get too drunk and bring something home with me from the clubs that i shouldnt.

[Homicidalheathen]

Uh, just use protection and don't do oral heh. Don't catch anything you would later give to the nice girl you end up with.

[Rivers the Cleric]

i carry Dental Dam in my wallet.. i should get a condom too, i guess.

i wouldn't fool around at all if i didn't get to give oral.

[Homicidalheathen]

Still too nice, ha. Yah I guess you NEED A CONDOM! Pronto.

My motto.....never leave home without at least....uh......10 non latex and a huge bottle of lube. LOL Oh and my pink saran wrap. :blushing

[Rivers the Cleric]

just as long as they arent sheepskin.. those things are about as effective for birthcontrole as fish are for flying.

nah. as much as i may say i'm going to go off and do something stupid, i never do.. damn morals keep getting in the way. sadly no matter how hammered i am, i still tend to turn down sex.. still doesn't mean i won't fool around, though.

still... yeah, getting tired of the whole "i've kissed one girl" thing.. kind of makes people think you're too innocent.

[Homicidalheathen]

OH just go get laid already before we take up a hooker collection. Oh she will be a nice hooker..... :cheerful

[Rivers the Cleric]

the second part of that story is that she had me so doped up on morphine and other things that i didn't know we where dating till 2 weeks in to it. (she was hiding some of it in my food, i've figured out that much.)

so.... i'm sort of paying close attention to who i do what with, and where, now.

[Homicidalheathen]

I hope to god your kidding because hidding drugs in food is called ASSAULT.

[Rivers the Cleric]

nope. i still don't really remember the first month of the relationship.

only dated he for 2 more months, after i foundout.

I PICK SOME WINNERS!

[Homicidalheathen]

Where the hell do you find these women? So I don't go there........

[Rivers the Cleric]

unless you're planning on driving over to the east coast, you won't have to worry.

she was a friend's sister. known them for years, never heard anything that even would have lead me to think that might happen.

then again, even if i had i might not have been able to do anything about it.

Morphine is just the one thing i know she was putting in there... i know there was more, just no clue what it was.

by the way, withdrawl from morphine isn't fun. espcially if you don't want anyone to know.

[Homicidalheathen]

I would have saved a sample, and the origional dish......and took it in for a test......and pressed charges. That is almost as bad as raping someone without a condom.

[Rivers the Cleric]

oh lord, that's only the start of what was wrong with that relationship. and the least emotionally damaging. but that's a big old shopping-list from fucked-up-mart.

let me just say that by the end being drugged into submission was the high point of the relationship.

but i wouldn't press charges against her, she had a son to take care of... that i was taking care of for her.

[Homicidalheathen]

Your so unlucky maybe you should just lock yourself in for about 10 years though seriously.

Never met anyone this unlucky in love.

[Rivers the Cleric]

well, it's like the man said "life's a garden, ya dig it?"

i think i could do with a break, honestly. but there's just the memory of one or two good, lovely nights. sitting holding someone i truly love in my arms, sleeping... makes it rather hard not to jump like a seal through a hoop for a chance at it again.

i know myself better than i know anyone else, and i know that i'm always going to trust people, no matter what happens. i know that people are always going to be able to lie to me, and have me believe it. i know that i'll always forgive almost anything, and i know that people will always use that to walk all over me.

but, if i stopped any of that stuff, i wouldn't be me.

i'll always trust too much, and care too much, and believe the unbelieveable, and i'll forgive them for everything.

i think i need to move in to a cave.

[Homicidalheathen]

Well your not the only one. I have selective single freinds who complain about the same thing in men.....they all fancy themselves 'playa's' and sleep around so much it turns the women off. So they stay single.

Maybe you should try a nice dating website.....you know a regular one that screens people. Not a hookup place like myspace......nothing but whores in there heh.

[Rivers the Cleric]

i think at the moment what i'm really going to do is step out of the dating scine for a while... maybe get my life in good enough order that i really don't need another person in it to feel happy.. maybe then i'll start attracting the right sort of woman, or start being attracted to the right sort of woman.. actually, i can't say that i'm not attracted to them now, because i'll go out with anyone.. maybe that'll just help me start to recognize them.

[Steven]

i think at the moment what i'm really going to do is step out of the dating scine for a while... maybe get my life in good enough order that i really don't need another person in it to feel happy.. maybe then i'll start attracting the right sort of woman, or start being attracted to the right sort of woman.. actually, i can't say that i'm not attracted to them now, because i'll go out with anyone.. maybe that'll just help me start to recognize them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

now this - is a wise move, albeit unpopular, but who cares?

you definately should not need another person to feel happy. That will help you become much more discerning in the long run. ANd perhaps you might try to broaden yoru perspective a bit when making comparisons. For example - who asked who out.......that's not really an indicator of much.

you want to find what sorts of values other people have. Where they spend the majority of their time and money will give you some good clues. How do they make decisions? Based in anger or fear? How do they handle conflict? Do they harbor resentment or deal with issues as they arise? What types of othe relationships do they have??? Are they healthy?

[Rivers the Cleric]

honestly i've only ever dated people that asked ME out because i like whoever i'm dating to have at least a little honesty (admitting they like me) focus (deciding on me) and enough of a will and personality to ask me out.

hasn't really worked out for the best. and i've known for a while that i need to rethink that strategy.

still.. a nice rest, some time by myself, and getting my life in to good shape.. sounds like it's just what the doctor ordered.

[Draco1958]

oh lord, that's only the start of what was wrong with that relationship. and the least emotionally damaging. but that's a big old shopping-list from fucked-up-mart.

let me just say that by the end being drugged into submission was the high point of the relationship.

but i wouldn't press charges against her, she had a son to take care of... that i was taking care of for her.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nothing personal but not pressing charge IMHO is a mistake. Think about it this way, waht IF she had overdone the drugging of your food? You'd be dead. And what about the next person, they could end up dead. Something needs to be done, nothing personal but you need to look at a bigger person. Those what if? can add up and someone could end up dead.

[Ginevra]

Nothing personal but not pressing charge IMHO is a mistake.  Think about it this way, waht IF she had overdone the drugging of your food?  You'd be dead.  And what about the next person, they could end up dead.  Something needs to be done, nothing personal  but you need to look at a bigger person.  Those what if? can add up and someone could end up dead.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After re-reading the thread again, I have to agree with Draco. Spiking someone's food with morphine is a very serious offense. You say she has a small child that she's caring for? Doesn't sound like it to me, truth be told. Where's the child's father? Can he be counted on for anything? If he's around and worth anything, I don't think he'd much appreciate the situation that she's potentially putting the child in. What if the child gets ahold of the morphine container?

Someone should be notified.