If I don't like you...You wil know!!

[Marblez]

I am very curious... For everyone that says "if I don't like you, you'll know it"... I am curious about 3 things.

1. Have you never realized that you changed your mind about someone and realized that you liked them after upon initial exposure or something that pissed you off? That happens to me all the time. Have you ever burnt a bridge that you later wished you hadn't?

2. Doesn't this cause unnecessary stress in your life? To know that you have made such a strong seperation between yourself and this person and that person?? Now when you go to group events and this person is in your "circle" - don't you find yourself more uncomfortable than if you had just continued to treat them like anyone else?

3. This one, please take with a grain of salt: For most people, the workplace is hugely political. You never know which coworker or underling will eventually be your boss or who's support you will need. Do you flat out tell people "I don't like you, Stay away from me" at work...and how well is that going for you? Can you do this and still maintain a successful career?

[The_Dark]

To answer all the questions at once...

I have been told that I have brought "being an asshole to an art form".

But to answer things a bit more clearly...

1. No. It takes alot to get me to not like someone in the first place. Except that odd person that you meet that you hate on sight. As for burnign bridges, I don't burn bridges. I have to deal with people daily that I would rather have stop breathing my air. If i stopped all contact with people I disliked then I would never get things done.

2. No. I don't go out of my way to treat them in any special way. I deal with them as little as possible. I have a "friend" who I would rather not ever talk to.. but I play cards with him twice a month... hell, last weekend I helped him change the water pump on his car. I was there, he needed a hand.

3. Again.. I don't go out of my way. Telling them that sort of thing would cause ME problems. Not a good thing. I just don't talk to them or deal with them unless I have to.

[Marblez]

To answer all the questions at once...

I have been told that I have brought "being an asshole to an art form".

But to answer things a bit more clearly...

1. No. It takes alot to get me to not like someone in the first place. Except that odd person that you meet that you hate on sight. As for burnign bridges, I don't burn bridges. I have to deal with people daily that I would rather have stop breathing my air. If i stopped all contact with people I disliked then I would never get things done.

2. No. I don't go out of my way to treat them in any special way. I deal with them as little as possible. I have a "friend" who I would rather not ever talk to.. but I play cards with him twice a month... hell, last weekend I helped him change the water pump on his car. I was there, he needed a hand.

3. Again.. I don't go out of my way. Telling them that sort of thing would cause ME problems. Not a good thing. I just don't talk to them or deal with them unless I have to.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for the response, Dark. Somehow I had thought you would feel similarly to myself. Christian Conservatives, eh?

I especially liked how you pointed out that you even helped out a person that you dislike. That is pretty wonderful.

[Head Wreck]

you have to do something utterly dispicable to get me to hold a grudge.

i have a week bitch and moan about a transgression then its out of the way.

if you say or do something veryy silly. well you dont learn unless someone corrects you, dont take offence to me

[Rayne]

There are very, very few people I dislike in this world ... and they know who they are, I have completely flat out told them.

(just wanted to add - no one here)

[Blackmail]

It all depends on what's going on, what the person has done to you, etc.

If someone annoys me on DGN then I get pissed for a while and get over it. One person I really disliked on here, I ended up feeling sorry for him because alot of people ended up disliking him and he left the boards entirely. I still think he was a jackass but I still feel bad for people I don't like sometimes.

Now if someone murdered my pet rat Boris, then they would get their ass kicked everytime I saw them.

[Hellion]

:devil All it takes is one lie,and talking behind my back,and being sneaky behind my back.Your first offence is your last.

[Guest Megalicious]

I am very curious... For everyone that says "if I don't like you, you'll know it"...  I am curious about 3 things.

1. Have you never realized that you changed your mind about someone and realized that you liked them after upon initial exposure or something that pissed you off? That happens to me all the time.  Have you ever burnt a bridge that you later wished you hadn't?

2.  Doesn't this cause unnecessary stress in your life? To know that you have made such a strong seperation between yourself and this person and that person??  Now when you go to group events and this person is in your "circle" - don't you find yourself more uncomfortable than if you had just continued to treat them like anyone else?

3. This one, please take with a grain of salt: For most people, the workplace is hugely political.  You never know which coworker or underling will eventually be your boss or who's support you will need.  Do you flat out tell people "I don't like you, Stay away from me" at work...and how well is that going for you?  Can you do this and still maintain a successful career?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1. No. If I dont like someone its because of something they did to me. it depends on to what level they pissed me off. I dont let ppl get close to me so it usally doesnt effect me emotionally. Not enough to get pissed off anyway, its just not worth my time. I dont burn briges, because if I dont like someone I dont build them so to speak.

2. No, seperation is not hard for me. I dont have friends, nor a friend circle to feel "uncomfortable" in. If its one thing my mother taught me in life is that you can only depend on yourself. Every time I have trusted the only place it has ever gotten me was drunk, alone and an emotional mess. So I dont do it anymore, Ive cut myself off from everything and everyone. It may not be anyone else way, but it works for me.

3. Work is different. THEY ARE PAYING YOU. I dont bother anyone, dont become buddy buddy. Nor do I dislike ppl. I go to work and do my job.

[JaneDead]

1. Have you never realized that you changed your mind about someone and realized that you liked them after upon initial exposure or something that pissed you off? That happens to me all the time. Have you ever burnt a bridge that you later wished you hadn't?

--usually it is the other way around. i have liked someone and later realized i don't like them very much. i have rarely, if ever, disliked someone from the first several meetings. usually i like someone - i try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and if i end up disliking them it is because they do really horrible things to people i love/know, me or people in general.

2. Doesn't this cause unnecessary stress in your life? To know that you have made such a strong seperation between yourself and this person and that person?? Now when you go to group events and this person is in your "circle" - don't you find yourself more uncomfortable than if you had just continued to treat them like anyone else?

--i have only had this happen once. a friend and i were fighting and would be at the same group things. it was VERY difficult because i was used to talking to them and hanging out with them the most. and here we were not talking at all. we made up but it took almost a couple of months and i realized once we did how stressed i really was over it all. this is the only time this has happened though and i don't plan on doing it again!

3. This one, please take with a grain of salt: For most people, the workplace is hugely political. You never know which coworker or underling will eventually be your boss or who's support you will need. Do you flat out tell people "I don't like you, Stay away from me" at work...and how well is that going for you? Can you do this and still maintain a successful career?

--i have never disliked anyone i worked with. i have had a difficult boss/co-boss situation but i just stood my ground and i believe that earned me respect in the end. other than that i have really liked everyone i have ever worked with. and if i didn't- i would not tell them. i think that is tacky and unprofessional.

[Steven]

I am very curious... For everyone that says "if I don't like you, you'll know it"...  I am curious about 3 things.

1. Have you never realized that you changed your mind about someone and realized that you liked them after upon initial exposure or something that pissed you off? That happens to me all the time.  Have you ever burnt a bridge that you later wished you hadn't?

2.  Doesn't this cause unnecessary stress in your life? To know that you have made such a strong seperation between yourself and this person and that person??  Now when you go to group events and this person is in your "circle" - don't you find yourself more uncomfortable than if you had just continued to treat them like anyone else?

3. This one, please take with a grain of salt: For most people, the workplace is hugely political.  You never know which coworker or underling will eventually be your boss or who's support you will need.  Do you flat out tell people "I don't like you, Stay away from me" at work...and how well is that going for you?  Can you do this and still maintain a successful career?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I liked this. Thought provoking. Hmmmmm.....

1) I have many times found that my first impression of people is just wrong. In addition, Yes I've found myself having an affinity for people that i did not previously recognize certain qualities in. Humbles me a bit. As I grow older i try to take my time now in understanding people. I rarely burn bridges anymore however. That shit was in my 20's and early 30's.....

2) I understand this situation but it rarely applies to me. I'm too old and too fat for unneccesary "stuff"....

3) I think drawing lines at work is both career and personal suicide, and reckless, and foolish. A team operates much better when it thrives, and the one who insists on seperating themselves or limiting themselves from a heartfelt team approach is the problem child who eventually gets ousted and loses the benefit of the doubt. I've been a Boss and team leader for many years. I've also several times been promoted above my peers who formally outranked me at work. And I fired those who refused to get on board, including my old Boss' son because he was basically an arrogant asshole who's insubordinate behaviour threatend my ability to lead. So I made a change for the good of the team. I absolutely loathe workplace drama and the harm it creates. And those who insist on it I tend to judge as limited and immature and therefore ill equipped for leadership and growth.