Stop being nice to me, I don't like you!!

[JaneDead]

i can't read this post or any of the replies here. i have you all on ignore. i don't like anyone here and i only read my own posts and replies.

[Draco1958]

Marblez sweetie. Always be yourself. As stated, if someone doesn't want to read your post, they can ignore it. I agree that others in a similar situation could benefit from info you post so keep on posting. Not to hijack but someone here and I had a problem and I have been going thru alot. If that person offered advice, my heart would feel warmer and I would appreciate that person's kind words and thoughts. To not do so would be wrong. Just because 2 people have a problem, an offer of advice and help thru a difficult time is a kindness that transends any personal problems to show that in our hearts, we care about our fellow humans. Our path on this world will at times be troubled and heartfelt advice and concern should ALWAYS be appreciated. Marbles, kudos to you for having a heart so big as.....a big heart.(wanted to get you to laugh a little) You are my friend and a friend to many here and your friendship is appreciated and warmly welcomed. Keep the advice coming when you feel it's appropriate. You know many of us appreciate your incites just as I have appreciated all those who have offered their thoughts for me. You are a beautiful person inside and out and wil always be welcomed to offer your thoughts and opinions to me and I am sure many others here.

Sorry if I hijacked this a little. Something like this I can take too personal even when it doesn't concern me directly. Heart felt advice and sympathies are what helps bond people together. It's what helps show our human side, our feelings. To reject that is to me in a way is to reject humanities caring for one another. And I am sure many will agree we need more love and concern in this harsh at times world.

Ok, I'm off of my soapbox now.

[LuluVox]

i can't read this post or any of the replies here. i have you all on ignore. i don't like anyone here and i only read my own posts and replies.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hehehehehehe. Nice.

[Saephyr]

Just my eye catching things now and then, but man there is alot of people getting pissed/irratated with other fellow members the past month...month and a half.......We should have everyone thats pissed off at each other fight to the death....bill shatner style lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:woot: BY JOVE DEAR PHAROH I THINK YO'VE GOT IT!!!

[Guest Megalicious]

I don't see why one would not like you Marblez, you are a very pleasent person.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

DITTO =)

Just my eye catching things now and then, but man there is alot of people getting pissed/irratated with other fellow members the past month...month and a half.......We should have everyone thats pissed off at each other fight to the death....bill shatner style lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I second that lol and its the funniest shit Ive had the pleasure of reading all day lol :laughing

[Steven]

Various people do not like me for their own personal reasons. I am not a saint.  I can't refute it all.  This person and I, though, I think it is a personality conflict.

I want to make it obvious that I am not trying to trash this person or to "one up" them.  I do honestly hope that things work out well for them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...this is just one of the reasons why i dig this girl....

[Saephyr]

Matter of being stubborn I suppose?

[Guest Megalicious]

I just stabbed myself in the face for being nice to myself cuz I hate when myself is nice to myself it's like stop it or i'm gonna stab you in the face.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Reading that made my head hurt ben ... lol

[Fierce Critter]

of course, if it (the request to stop) comes from the individual themselves, i'm only too happy to oblige - if my advice is unwanted, i will refrain from communicating with you...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

TA has a good point.

We don't have all the information here.

Perhaps there was unresolveable conflict between two parties. Perhaps the other party made a polite & respectful request - for whatever reason - that all communication between them stop. If one party is being respectful by giving the other space, what's the harm in giving them the same?

Maybe one has to look at whether the desire to give input is self-serving. If you truly respect the other person, and that person has made it known that your attempts to communicate with them only upset them, wouldn't it be more giving to respect their wishes and swallow your thoughts? Even if it appears - to you - that they're ludicrous in being upset by what you view as benign attempts at communication?

Sometimes people are best left alone. Whether they're in the right, in the wrong, reasonable or unreasonable, justified or not. If they don't welcome your input, and you insist on giving it, knowing that it upsets them, who are you really looking out for? Are your actions/efforts truly kind? Is that being friendly, or being subtly antagonistic? Are you asking them to sacrifice, when you, as the supposed upright & conscientious party, should be sacrificing your own needs/desires? If the "Christian way" is what guides you, what would a priest/minister/reverend say in that regard?

And if, as you say, you want to offer advice just in case someone else might need it, if your need to "help" is that strong, couldn't you maybe put the onus on yourself to find another way to offer that advice? Maybe put a little work into it instead of taking the easy - yet potentially hurtful - route of addressing the unwelcoming other party directly, knowing it might affect them negatively?

You say you're not trying to "one up" them. But it appears that, up until now, things were kept private by both parties. Are you not, perhaps, the stubborn one here?

Two sides, people. Two sides.

[LuluVox]

the phrase "guerrilla kindness" comes to mind.

[Draco1958]

While I agree with FC, I feel 1 point is being missed. When you post in an open forum, you are inviting everyone to respond whether it's someone you want to hear from or not. Just something to consider.

[Guest Megalicious]

While I agree with FC, I feel 1 point is being missed.  When you post in an open forum, you are inviting everyone to respond whether it's someone you want to hear from or not.  Just something to consider.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good point ...=)

[AstralCrux]

Man, I'm so not taking sides..... Do what you feel is best for you Marblez..... That is all.

[ManicQueen]

If was in your shoe's Marblez, I would just stop all forms of communication with this person. It's obvious they don't want anything from you, nice or not. If you want to show them respect, because it's your Christian way, then leave them alone. It's only making things worse.

That's what I'd do and it's just my opinion =)

[Vater Araignee]

[my 2¢] Regardless of any bodies intentions. This is an open forum and if you don't like what somebody says, how they act or what not then ignore them. If you have issue with the fact that they are posting or replying to you then "DON'T FRELLING POST"

Now lets reverse the roll.

Even though people can ignore you :grin[/my 2¢]

ROCK ON MARBZ

[Steven]

TA has a good point.

We don't have all the information here.

Perhaps there was unresolveable conflict between two parties. Perhaps the other party made a polite & respectful request - for whatever reason - that all communication between them stop. If one party is being respectful by giving the other space, what's the harm in giving them the same?

Maybe one has to look at whether the desire to give input is self-serving. If you truly respect the other person, and that person has made it known that your attempts to communicate with them only upset them, wouldn't it be more giving   to respect their wishes and swallow your thoughts? Even if it appears - to you - that they're ludicrous in being upset by what you view as benign attempts at communication?

Sometimes people are best left alone. Whether they're in the right, in the wrong, reasonable or unreasonable, justified or not. If they don't welcome your input, and you insist on giving it, knowing that it upsets them, who are you really looking out for? Are your actions/efforts truly kind? Is that being friendly, or being subtly antagonistic? Are you asking them to sacrifice, when you, as the supposed upright & conscientious party, should be sacrificing your own needs/desires? If the "Christian way" is what guides you, what would a priest/minister/reverend say in that regard?

And if, as you say, you want to offer advice just in case someone else might need it, if your need to "help" is that strong, couldn't you maybe put the onus on yourself to find another way to offer that advice? Maybe put a little work into it instead of taking the easy - yet potentially hurtful - route of addressing the unwelcoming other party directly, knowing it might affect them negatively?

You say you're not trying to "one up" them. But it appears that, up until now, things were kept private by both parties. Are you not, perhaps, the stubborn one here?

Two sides, people. Two sides.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you know.... I went back and re-read Marblez post becaue I think you raised some fair questions FC. But the thing is.... I dont really find anything antagonistic or even fault finding in her post. She named no names, made no explicit claims, and didint use any sort of language that would seem to fuel the fire. What it looks like to me, is that Marblez has used a public forum for personal reflection and to explain her motivations to us all - to anyone for that matter - who may find themselves in a similar online or even private conversation within this community.

And that'st he thing: this IS a community here. We all have input and unique dynamics to our views, ethics, and modes of communication. We have all corresponded enough now to have some insight into how certain people will feel about specific topics. And because assumptions can sometimes be made, every once in awhile some balance needs to be inserted. I dont see that free speech being abused in any way here - in fact I see her leaving herself open to get blasted by others (possibly) by taking the risk of sharing her personal motivations. There is a certain respectable honesty in that approach. And she's not on a soapbox or being condescending with her spirituality. She's simply saying "look - this is who i am, this is why i am, this is how I process".

we all do that in many forms.

to that I can only add this bit of confusion: if somone took the time and energy to actually contact marblez to ask her not to speak to them because they dont like her.................. that sounds to me like a decision made in anger or fueld heavily by emotion. Its a little high schoolish dont you think? I beleive most of us own a delete key.....

[Marblez]

TA has a good point.

We don't have all the information here.

Perhaps there was unresolveable conflict between two parties. Perhaps the other party made a polite & respectful request - for whatever reason - that all communication between them stop. If one party is being respectful by giving the other space, what's the harm in giving them the same?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

By saying "I dont like you - your input and assistance is unwanted - Don't post here or here" is this respectfully giving a person space or denying them of ability to present their ideas to the rest of the community?

Sometimes people are best left alone. Whether they're in the right, in the wrong, reasonable or unreasonable, justified or not. If they don't welcome your input, and you insist on giving it, knowing that it upsets them, who are you really looking out for? Are your actions/efforts truly kind? Is that being friendly, or being subtly antagonistic? Are you asking them to sacrifice, when you, as the supposed upright & conscientious party, should be sacrificing your own needs/desires? If the "Christian way" is what guides you, what would a priest/minister/reverend say in that regard?

And if, as you say, you want to offer advice just in case someone else might need it, if your need to "help" is that strong, couldn't you maybe put the onus on yourself to find another way to offer that advice? Maybe put a little work into it instead of taking the easy - yet potentially hurtful - route of addressing the unwelcoming other party directly, knowing it might affect them negatively?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If a person wishes to be left alone - they should not post questions and discussion which others (like them or not) would feel compelled to respond.

If only I could choose who does and does not participate in a discussion that I created!! I did not ask for any negative commentary on this post...damn you all for not telling me that I am an angel sent from God!! Negative opinions toward me are unwanted and therefore should not be in a thread that I posted. Instead you should create an entirely different thread on the same topic and address it to everyone else causing duplication and confusion.

Because I do not like you.

You say you're not trying to "one up" them. But it appears that, up until now, things were kept private by both parties. Are you not, perhaps, the stubborn one here?

Two sides, people. Two sides.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually, the person has sent me numerous, lengthy "fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you" letters where they have gone into detail about their negative feelings toward me... although I have already agreed to not pm or email them... I attempted to respond privately and peacefully and make it known that I will not stop posting on issues that I care about - the reply failed as they had me blocked.

[Brenda Starrr]

Wow, Tina. It appears that someone has some serious issues. And it's not you.

I think that you rock. Fuck THEM.

[Reaper]

I just read and comment to myself anymore. Saves much trouble these days lol.

[Marblez]

If was in your shoe's Marblez, I would just stop all forms of communication with this person. It's obvious they don't want anything from you, nice or not. If you want to show them respect, because it's your Christian way, then leave them alone. It's only making things worse.

That's what I'd do and it's just my opinion  =)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lets say DirtyWhispers was the person that was offended by me, it is not her, but let's just say it was. If I had strong feelings on this topic "Friends and Ex's: Do They or Don't They", should I refrain from this discussion because it was posted by her and is a personal issue to her??

[cptdeath]

Just my eye catching things now and then, but man there is alot of people getting pissed/irratated with other fellow members the past month...month and a half.......We should have everyone thats pissed off at each other fight to the death....bill shatner style lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

why not ask them if they want to fight you then while there about to answer punch em in the mouth and scream "WHOOOOO" like ric flair. then put your hands up like little mac in punch out. ( that would be funny as hell to watch)

marbelz is nice. people hate on me all the time thats why i'm so hesitant to participate. plus I'm only half goth or whatever i can't dress up it's part of my ancient uncommon beliefs that make me part goth.

so i find alot of friends behind those cold looks of disdain and prejeduce.

I help out haters too. they don't understand why and it just pisses them off. just makes them seam like little kids to me.

why not start a haters forum and have hater night at city bites since it won't work at cc.

[Steven]

Lets say DirtyWhispers was the person that was offended by me, it is not her, but let's just say it was.  If I had strong feelings on this topic  "Friends and Ex's: Do They or Don't They", should I refrain from this discussion because it was posted by her and is a personal issue to her??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....fair question.

My vote would be that a public forum is just that....public.

Some of the topics raised, be whatever from whomever, might actually have a great deal of communal worth - even if that was not the original intention of the person who posted it.

I for one am a great beleiver in transparancy and in community. But I also know that those ideals are not so simple to digest. There have been times on this website where I feel that I have been spokent to (posted to) in a condescending or disrespectful manner - unwarranted. But when I really mull it over - I also have to admit that I have a tendency at times to appear condescending myself, or if anything a bit too flippant, and I know I've lit a few fires that I did not mean to light. When I've realized that (and sometimes it takes me a while) then I need to find a way to not only be graceful to that person, but I need to also actively search for a way to find some benefit of the doubt for them, even if I'm angry. Doesent matter if I'm wrong or right.

what bothers me - is the idea of our sequestering ourselves from one another.

[Steven]

forgot to add one thing.....

you all know that over at DCC they have the flame forum.

let's not ever do that here.

[Reaper]

You know, some day Steven, I am going to have to meet you and buy you a beer, or drink of choice. Your train of thought is what would make this world better because you involve that rare trait that most people choose not to utilize...COMMON SENSE. I enjoy your mode of speaking and it would be cool to converse with you, say issues on nuclear energy, space travel, hell even on whats in a hotdog lol. Ok I was just kidding on that. But it would still be cool to chat with you in person. It may be some time for now as I prepare to go back out on the road, but when I do come back and plan to go to the club I will make sure you will be there.

I will add that most people on here think like Steven such as Draco, Crank, Rambo, Cpt, Marblez, Black Sunday, and many others that i wish I had time to remark on. The time I have spent reading the forums has been well worth it and fun at that. I doubt it will ever retrieve a trait of the flame forums on DCC, but that is what separates the two message boards.

Anyway, time to get going and GET R' DONE! Laters.

-Thee Reaper

Jeff

[Lilith]

I just read and comment to myself anymore.  Saves much trouble these days lol.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ain't that the truth