Justice/conflict resolution vs. letting go

[Fierce Critter]

I have a few situations going on in my life right now, causing much unwanted drama & stress.

There are steps I can take to try to resolve one or all of these issues. Things I could do to, not exact punishment on someone, but present evidence that might alert others that might want to take action of some kind.

For instance, there's a guy who sells on some Yahoo groups I'm on who has turned out to be a major psycho jerk. Long story short, I have found out that he has been banned by many a group for harassment & other disruptive behavior. He targeted me a couple weeks ago because I wouldn't sell something to him at a too-low price. I have the backing and evidence of e-mails, saved IM's, information from group owners, etc. Plenty of documentation I could provide to this person's ISP to alert them to his behavior, and let them do what they want with it. (As recently as within the hour, he has IM'd me with more harassing language. I have been bypassing the IM Catcher feature only as a means of collecting more evidence for his ISP. Otherwise, I'd just ignore or block him altogether.)

I have a strong sense of justice - that if someone wrongs me or someone else, and I have means to, in some way, right that wrong - I should do what's in my power to act on it.

That if I don't, someone is getting away with something, and will continue to hurt, trouble or wrong someone else, when I might have been able to, if not completely stop it, enact SOME change, even if it's just slow that person down for a while.

But right now, I have my own personal problems to deal with. Not the least of which is a diagnosed severe depression. I really need to focus on me right now.

But I'm torn between the blessed release of responsibility that would come from just dropping these fights, and the feeling that, if I do, I failed at an opportunity to enact some positive change for the good.

How do you handle such things? Can you drop the sword before the battle is done and ride back home without feeling like you're hurting yourself by not doing all you can? Or could you not live with yourself knowing you didn't fight to the last?

[The_Dark]

The end does not always justify the means. Some things cost more than they are worth.

[saechalyn]

I choose my battles carefully, and only when they are really worth it to me and I have the energy to follow through. I have no qualms about letting stuff go otherwise.

[Guest Megalicious]

I have a few situations going on in my life right now, causing much unwanted drama & stress.

There are steps I can take to try to resolve one or all of these issues. Things I could do to, not exact punishment on someone, but present evidence that might alert others that might want to take action of some kind.

For instance, there's a guy who sells on some Yahoo groups I'm on who has turned out to be a major psycho jerk. Long story short, I have found out that he has been banned by many a group for harassment & other disruptive behavior. He targeted me a couple weeks ago because I wouldn't sell something to him at a too-low price. I have the backing and evidence of e-mails, saved IM's, information from group owners, etc. Plenty of documentation I could provide to this person's ISP to alert them to his behavior, and let them do what they want with it. (As recently as within the hour, he has IM'd me with more harassing language. I have been bypassing the IM Catcher feature only as a means of collecting more evidence for his ISP. Otherwise, I'd just ignore or block him altogether.)

I have a strong sense of justice - that if someone wrongs me or someone else, and I have means to, in some way, right that wrong - I should do what's in my power to act on it.

That if I don't, someone is getting away with something, and will continue to hurt, trouble or wrong someone else, when I might have been able to, if not completely stop it, enact SOME change, even if it's just slow that person down for a while.

But right now, I have my own personal problems to deal with. Not the least of which is a diagnosed severe depression. I really need to focus on me right now.

But I'm torn between the blessed release of responsibility that would come from just dropping these fights, and the feeling that, if I do, I failed at an opportunity to enact some positive change for the good.

How do you handle such things? Can you drop the sword before the battle is done and ride back home without feeling like you're hurting yourself by not doing all you can? Or could you not live with yourself knowing you didn't fight to the last?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think you should just let it go FC. I like you, I respect you and I dont want you to be side tracked with thinking someone has done you wrong. Its not worth it right now . You have to focus on you honey. How are you suppose to feel justified if you cant even feel happy with everyday things, and trust me I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. If you want YOU deal with you and let someone else deal with the asshole that has been fucking with you. Dont feel like you have failed in letting things go, sometimes its just the right thing to do, not for the stupid asshole, but for you . You need every bit of energy saved for yourself, and you know exactly what I mean. Allowing your self to feel that bit of justice is going to drain you. I want you to be happy with your everyday life and drag yourself out of this hole you've been in. You cant do that if your worried about someone else. Its time to worry about you =)

[Msterbeau]

Tough call. Sometimes part of taking care of you IS taking care of the justice thing. That can be be both energy sapping and very uplifting.

Sounds like you've collected plenty of evidence against him. At this point I'd put him on ignore. If he continues to find ways to bother you. Go after him. He's already gone way past the point of being an annoyance. If he can't take a hint then perhaps it's time for some real consequences to come his way. ie. The Law.

In any case... if you need help or support, you know where to find me.

[Steven]

I have a few situations going on in my life right now, causing much unwanted drama & stress.

There are steps I can take to try to resolve one or all of these issues. Things I could do to, not exact punishment on someone, but present evidence that might alert others that might want to take action of some kind.

For instance, there's a guy who sells on some Yahoo groups I'm on who has turned out to be a major psycho jerk. Long story short, I have found out that he has been banned by many a group for harassment & other disruptive behavior. He targeted me a couple weeks ago because I wouldn't sell something to him at a too-low price. I have the backing and evidence of e-mails, saved IM's, information from group owners, etc. Plenty of documentation I could provide to this person's ISP to alert them to his behavior, and let them do what they want with it. (As recently as within the hour, he has IM'd me with more harassing language. I have been bypassing the IM Catcher feature only as a means of collecting more evidence for his ISP. Otherwise, I'd just ignore or block him altogether.)

I have a strong sense of justice - that if someone wrongs me or someone else, and I have means to, in some way, right that wrong - I should do what's in my power to act on it.

That if I don't, someone is getting away with something, and will continue to hurt, trouble or wrong someone else, when I might have been able to, if not completely stop it, enact SOME change, even if it's just slow that person down for a while.

But right now, I have my own personal problems to deal with. Not the least of which is a diagnosed severe depression. I really need to focus on me right now.

But I'm torn between the blessed release of responsibility that would come from just dropping these fights, and the feeling that, if I do, I failed at an opportunity to enact some positive change for the good.

How do you handle such things? Can you drop the sword before the battle is done and ride back home without feeling like you're hurting yourself by not doing all you can? Or could you not live with yourself knowing you didn't fight to the last?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sometimes Critter....your heart and spirit justs needs rest above all else. So do what you must to ensure that that takes place. You have wisdom and a good heart and we have respect and admiration for you and how you live. Drop the sword. Rest yourself. There are plenty of other battles ahead that need you once your ready.....

Steven

[soothsayer]

I choose my battles carefully, and only when they are really worth it to me and I have the energy to follow through.  I have no qualms about letting stuff go otherwise.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>